Sunday, September 8, 2013

Bare Chuckalina

Ok, male readers, you may want to skip this one. Or not. In watching Season 4 of Being Erica last week, there was a scene of Erica and her boyfriend Adam in a spa getting pedicures. The spa techs asked Adam if he was interested in other services. Erica asked what kind and they said for men they do BSC treatments. Erica and Adam looked puzzled so the spa tech told them it's "Back, Sack & Crack waxing". Apparently, they are pretty progressive in Canada and the BSC is a legit thing. All I know is that here, some nail places won't even do men's pedicures. Anyway, this entry is about waxing. Waxing the chuckie or chuckalina.

I stole that term, chuckalina, from Milania Guidice. Or maybe it was Gia. I don't know. But it's hard to write about waxing your nether regions without using a disguising word as to not set off some kind of google porn word alert. I don't want my blog coming up with all things adult entertainment so I borrowed a RHONJ term. Dina Manzo and friends coined chuckie, and Teresa's daughters took it a step further. So thank you Guidice girls.

I'd been going to the same waxer since 2003. I lost a bet and made an appointment for a Brazilian. For me at least, it's one of those things once you do you can't stop going. Maybe I haven't always gone as consistently for time or money reasons, but I've never used a razor again. Well, not anywhere in the chuckalina area.

I LOVE my wax lady. BUT, I have been going to her home to get waxed since I moved in 2006. It is kind of a pain to get to her, and it's one of those areas where there is no traffic or it's backed up forever with no rhyme or reason. Although no fault of hers, the last time I went to her, I got a ticket that with the court fee, fine for a lesser offense, and some bullshit NJ insurance surcharge, it cost me FOUR HUNDRED AND THIRTY NINE DOLLARS. Plus, $8 to pay it online. Because face it, I'm not driving back there. I have like PTSD now from that area. I have a birthday party at the pool this coming weekend and I just had to do something local, quick and cheap.

I decided to try European Wax Center. I'd been seeing their ads all over the place for a year at least. Something about a free wax for first time clients. I knew a Brazilian would cost something but I knew it would be extremely discounted. There's one in Wyckoff, which seemed to be closest.

It definitely was a simple, innocuous experience. I walked in around 1:40-ish with no appointment. There were two girls at the desk. One was super nice and friendly, the other not-so-much. I wish I could remember their names so I could credit them each with the proper attitude, but I don't remember. The not-so-nice one told me they couldn't take me until 2:15. I was fine with that. Marshall's is across the way in the shopping plaza and knew I could easily fill a half hour of time in there.

I came back at 2:15 and they were ready for me. I can't say it wasn't weird to strip down in a florescent lit room with a stranger after only seeing my one person for 10 years but I guess it's like dating after a divorce. You just do it. I had been told they don't use strips, that they just use the wax. The wax acts like a strip. Interesting.

Pros: It hurt WAY less than wax with strips. But it tickled more. It could've been my discomfort at having a new person all up in my chuckalina in ultra-bright florescent lighting. The wax wasn't super hot either. It was way faster too. Usually my lady has to go over parts a few times. There have been times I've been in pain after because you can't just go over the same area with hot wax numerous times without consequence. With this kind of wax, I guess they can do a bigger area at once. This girl was fast, gentle, and they use all kinds of product before and after so it felt like she was really taking care of things.

Cons: They're sort of like Supercuts. I don't know the specifics but I don't think they have to train THAT long before being let loose on unsuspecting lady parts. And waxing is all they do so I think there must be some kind of formula for them to know where, how much etc. Reminds me of in high school when my friend Eric & his friend worked at Dairy Queen. They taught them how to make ice cream sandwiches. They never did it before so the first ones were too fat with ice cream. They just licked them down to size. They worked there like six hours I think. But had they kept doing it, the same thing, over and over, I'm sure they would've been able to eyeball the right amount of ice cream in their sandwiches. At EWC or anywhere that does waxing, in NJ, they have to be licensed or whatever the state requires but I don't think it's a lot of hours. I asked how long she's been doing it and she said since May. It's only the beginning of September. It doesn't seem like a long time. But again, maybe it's like working at Auntie Anne's. You don't know how to make pretzels, then you make so many you can do them in your sleep. I'm sure the first ones didn't look so hot. But by the end they're uniform. Thing is, there is a trust issue when letting someone down there with hot wax. 

Also, there were definite spots she missed. My lady really gets all up in everywhere. She also will do a bigger area as included in the one price. There is nothing extra thrown in when you're dealing with a corporation like this. But I definitely know there were spots actually missed vs not doing them because they were "extra".

I once went to Completely Bare in NYC. That cost $75+tip and that waxer was all business. I had welts after but every single hair and thought of hair was gone. When the welts calmed down hours later, it was perfect. She waxed and tweezed into oblivion. But I think in this case it's a get what you pay for thing. Being my first time it cost me $21+tip. So for approximately $30, I wasn't thinking it was going to be Completely Bare caliber. With some things overpaying isn't worth it. With this, if you need baby's behind, bare, you pay. If you're cool with the basics where you might have to fix a little yourself after, this is fine. Also, I'd know to look down there right after and would ask her to get the spots she missed. If she said no, that would be that. But I'm going to assume she would if it was in the general area that I was paying for hair removal. The regular price is $42 for a Brazilian. It's sort of the same model of Massage Envy where you can pay for a package and it ends up being cheaper. I don't think I'd do that because I really do plan to go back to my regular person, even though I do have ticket PTSD. It's also just nice to know I can do a walk-in here in a pinch.


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