Friday, December 18, 2015

Bergen Health & Life: Best of Bergen

It's voting time again! It's Bergen Health & Life's "Best in Bergen" poll time! Please vote for your hometown favorites! 

Shades of Soho needs your votes to win. It's the best way to get the word out that we're here for all your lighting needs. Winning these local awards is a huge help for us and we need YOU to do us the favor of getting our name out there. It just takes a moment.

Please write in "Shades of Soho" as "Lighting & Lighting Restoration" for a category, in the write-in section at the bottom. If you're feeling generous, you can also add us in as a contender in the Interior Design category under the Home & Home Services section. There is no lighting category.



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Wednesday, December 16, 2015

ATNY: JANUARY! Bergen/Morris/NYC

Actor's Technique NY comes back to Glen Rock in January! They had a successful first semester and are gearing up to do it again. Don't miss out on your spot. This is a great bunch of classes for the kids who have a real interest in acting, getting work in tv and movies, and just learning the life skill of improvisation. My son has been taking these classes since he was four years old and he's almost seven. I have definitely seen a positive evolution of confidence since he's been taking acting classes with ATNY. He also was able to learn three pages of dialogue and "perform" them for me to record in under forty-eight hours (with school and dance class in between). I don't know that he would've had the confidence to do it and understand how he was supposed to act it out had he not worked with ATNY for all this time.

If you have a kid who already likes to perform, this is the place for them.

Todd is the owner there- if you have questions, just give him a call and you can tell him you found ATNY on my blog!


ATNY NEW JERSEY! Morris & Bergen County Saturday or Sundays


image Jan 23, 12:30 PM

NEW 2-CLASS OPTIONS w/Final Customized Agent Showcase in NYC
Top TV/Film Managers are coming to Visit in NJ!

Saturdays, JAN 23rd - MARCH 26th: Millington (near Gillette), Morris County
Sundays, JAN 24th - MARCH 27th: Glen Rock, Bergen County
(9-Week or 6-Week Class Option, 1 or both classes each day)

Make-Ups Allowed at Specific Location or in NYC.

120 Stone House Road, Millington, New Jersey 07946
Saturdays, 1:30pm -2:30pm: Improvisation/Monologue (Ages 7 - 17)
Saturdays, 2:30pm -4:00pm: On-Camera TV/Film Act & Auditioning (7 - 17)

175 Rock Road (back at end of Parking Lot)

Sundays, 1pm - 2pm: Ages 4 - 6 (Non-Readers)
Sundays, 2pm - 3:00pm: Improvisation/Monologue
Sundays, 3pm - 4:30pm: On-Camera TV/Film Act & Auditioning

If you can't make it into NYC for our popular diversified Young Actor Programs, then stay close to home and enjoy our strongest On-Camera Classes in your own backyard! In this great New Jersey Program, all young actors will enjoy both the constructive fun of improvisational study, combined with monologue and scene study. All Genres of acting will be included, from stage to On-Camera Training. With On-Camera Acting & Audition Technique, we'll prepare you for our final 9th week agent showcase with NYC's top agents and managers. Make Up Classes by request in NJ or NYC.

IMPROVISATION & MONOLOGUE: A core element in all acting. It teaches you to react quickly, without thought, in a way that's honest and inventive. You'll learn to take chances, break out of your shell, and use your natural ability in a constructive way. ATNY will include a stage monologue class to help both stage actors and musical theatre students with song performance.

ON-CAMERA TV/FILM & MEISNER TECHNIQUE: With the help of Meisner Technique, our young actors will learn through monologue and scene, how to respond to a given circumstance in a honest and "in the moment" way. We'll teach you how to be more engaging, make stronger choices, and bring your acting from a stage element to a more subtle film approach. You'll become more believable.

Please Call ATNY with Questions or Phone Registration. Deposits to Reserve.

Improvisation Class Only, 450 & TV/Film Acting Class Only, 645
Improvisation & On-Camera TV/Film Class: 1045

Improvisation Class Only, 325 & Act & Audition Class Only, 425
Improvisation & On-Camera TV/Film Class: 725

*Deposit Required to Reserve Seat. Payment Plans by Request, Future Class Make-Up for Missed Classes Only, No Financial Refunds. Thank you.

Once you register below, ATNY will automatically receive the name and age of your child. We will follow up by phone or email to inquire as to which location you've registered for, so register below and chat shortly!

Paypal Registration Below or Credit Card Registration by Phone.
Refer a NEW FACE to ATNY, deduct $50 per new face referral.

REQUEST ACTOR REEL: More industry professionals are requesting actor reels to help market their young talent. If you're interested in a Marketing Reel for your young actor, please let ATNY know at Registration. We'll take care of it at your location on a day with others. At registration, only $145 (Reg. 195).

Call ATNY w/Questions or Phone Registration: 917.763.1777
Make-Up Days and payment plans by request.

REGISTER BELOW for either location, We'll follow up with you!

Friendly customized payment plans upon request, please call us!

Full Program

Cost: $1,045
Member Cost: $941
Single Class

Cost: $645
Member Cost: $581

Thursday, December 10, 2015

More Ambig-Jew-ity

This is a follow-up to my original post about Jews on tv- The search function on my blog isn't working, at least with Firefox, so I don't know if it's working for anyone.

The holiday season is upon us yet again, so before all the big hiatuses on TV, we have the "holiday episodes". Sometimes they end with Thanksgiving, sometimes we get a little bit of Christmas. I don't know if we've ever gotten Hanukkah, except that little snippet once with Friends and the Hanukkah Armadillo.

B and I don't watch The Goldbergs, like I've said before, because it isn't funny. However, last night, it was their Super Hanukkah episode, so we gave it a whirl. It was on when we sat down to veg for the night. Then later on, just by coincidence, we watched an episode of Fresh Off the Boat, which centers around a Chinese family and is hilarious. I finally realized the difference- why one is funny and the other isn't. It's not because we're Jews and we can't take a joke. It's because the stereotypes that they play off of in The Goldbergs are the nasty stereotypes that people use as serious insults. Any time I've caught this show there has been a line with Jeff Garlin not wanting to spend any money. So, basically, it's the whole Jews are cheap routine. And since it's Jeff Garlin and he is the lone Jew playing a Jew, besides the George Segal, it's ok.

Outside of George Segal and Jeff Garlin, this is the most gentile-washed Jewish family of all. And while I'm sure Wendy McClendon-Covey is funny as herself or in other things, she doesn't fly with me at all a Jewish mother. I know the show is supposed to be over the top but her character is ridiculous. The mother should've been more Fran Fine. Sylvia Buchman. Even Marie Barone could've been a better Jewish mother. She basically was, except, of course, for being/playing Italian. Christina Pickles most likely isn't Jewish with that name, but she played a kick-ass Jewish mother as Judy Gellar on Friends. If they wanted to play into stereotypes, they would've done a more New York Jewish thing. More Brooklynese and Yiddish thrown in. I know this show is based off a guy that grew up in Jenkintown, PA. But it's only said to be "loosely based" on his life. If they were going to just run with all things Jewish stereotypes, then just commit!

I can definitely take a joke. I love Jewish comedians and I can goof on Jewish stereotypes as well as the next. I even do a great Brooklynese mother/grandmother imitation on command. But this crap just isn't funny.

I don't really even know too many Chinese stereotypes, but their stereotypes seem to be able to be spun as positive. On Fresh Off the Boat, Jessica is hard on her kids, but it makes them successful. She can be cold, but in the end she shows her love. Her heart is always in the right place. She's a little bit Archie Bunker, but the offenses she makes to get to the lesson are more endearing than a sticking point as to why people could hate Chinese people. Jessica is sort of over the top but somehow she manages to be funny and not a total caricature.

I think I'm back on this kick because Girlfriends Guide to Divorce is back on and every time I see that Super Gentile brother of Abby's, I get annoyed at that casting. Watching The Goldbergs last night, I just sat there not laughing, then cracking up at Fresh Off the Boat. It made the differences glaringly obvious. I guess I'll just keep watching Louis, Jessica, Eddie, Emery, and Evan. And laughing.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Sleep Number Sucks

I've held off on writing anything about my current bed situation, hoping it would all get resolved.I hate to malign any company, big or small but here, I have no other choice. They did this. Or did nothing, depending on how you want to look at it. I've done everything I possibly could to just get what we're supposed to have, but it's been nothing but a horrendous challenge and the worst part is that the company doesn't even pretend to care. They supposedly "went dark" to change over their computer systems. This is their answer to why everything is a mess. However, that isn't the customers problem and if they didn't know how the computer switch was going to affect customers, they had no business selling beds until it was all figured out.

B and I decided we needed a new bed. It's been ten years and our bodies are no longer cooperating with sleep. Mostly because we wake up feeling pain every day. We don't know that it was the bed. We actually had a very highly rated mattress. We just thought we might need a change.

The first week of October we walked into the Sleep Number store in Garden State Plaza. Basically, the rest of this post is an outline of what we've dealt with thus far. Oh, it's been a treat.

 -We got a sales pitch from a new hire. The manager was overseeing everything. Then manager told us that we can get an even better deal for ordering the pillows, making it a "full bed purchase". We agreed because we originally went in there just for pillows. We went with the "P5", which meant very little to us. We tested it out in the store and it seemed fine for amount of money we had to spend.

Later that night, we received a call from an employee of Sleep Number but not the manager. She asked us if we were getting a "modular or adjustable base". We had no idea what she was talking about. No one talked to us about the bases. As far as we were told, it was either we want one that goes up and down or we don't. We didn't. The woman on the phone said we had to order a base then and it wasn't included in the price we paid. She wanted another $400-$500. No, no. I refused. I said I was given a price for a "full bed", that's what we agreed to and that's what we paid for. She said she'd speak to the manager.

-We went back into the store in the mall to speak to the manager two days later to make sure we were getting the base included. The store manager told US that WE had to call customer service, the one of us who has the "strongest personality" to get them to give us the base included with the price we paid. SHE SHOULD HAVE DONE THAT LEGWORK. It was HER MISTAKE. So I had to sit on hold forever and get that worked out. The customer service rep on the phone said we would get the base.

-We'd already made an appointment for delivery for October 15th. When customer service called, I asked if there was a base being delivered with the mattress. Of course they said no, that it was just the mattress. Customer service said that delivery had to be cancelled then because they only had a record of the mattress and they don't have a base for us. We cancelled. Then, they didn't communicate that to delivery because delivery called us the day they were supposed to deliver saying they had our bed. But they didn't- it was just the mattress, so we had to refuse delivery. But we had to take time out of our work day to deal with this and reschedule.

-I rescheduled. They couldn't come again for delivery until NOVEMBER 20th. That extended when we were supposed to get the bed another three weeks. That makes six weeks in total. Waiting for a bed. Working out scheduling.

- We were never told about the differences in the modular base. We weren't told that there were legs for it that are extra, and different sized legs at that. While I WAS ON HOLD for FORTY minutes, I was checking out the bed on their website while waiting. THAT, is where I saw the legs. When someone finally got on the phone, in my fit of rage, I told them legs better be included with this.The representative said he would include legs. But had I not seen them on the website, my bed would be ON THE FLOOR. Legless.

-I also only saw on the website we need brackets to secure the headboard. My head exploded when I saw that. WE ORDERED A WHOLE BED. I shouldn't have to order all this stuff separate for a bed that costs this much. Or at the very least, I SHOULD'VE BEEN TOLD brackets were separate. I told this to the guy on the phone and he said he'd send them out. Of course THEY AREN'T HERE. My headboard is currently zip-tied to the bed. It's been at least three weeks, three different reps that said they'd send them out, and they still aren't here.

-The bed came. The delivery guys were sure they were also PICKING UP A BED. A bed that didn't exist because something was not communicated that we never accepted the first mattress. They REEKED of cigarette smoke. The one guy also came in like a bull in a china shop and KNOCKED OUR CHANDELIER CLEAR OFF THE CEILING. No, my husband didn't have them take pics to file anything because he had to go back to work and as bad as they smelled, he didn't want them in the house. When you have people delivering BEDS, something people SLEEP ON, you don't allow your delivery men to STINK OF CIGARETTES. It's disgusting and so unprofessional. 

-The bed felt like an Aerobed. It was not good for us. We already took apart our old bed and moved our mattress to somewhere not easily accessible. I'm sure Sleep Number is aware that this is the case for most people. They keep the bed because it's too much trouble to give back. At first I thought we might upgrade to the next mattress. Then I saw the next mattress up was another THOUSAND DOLLARS. Yeah, no. So, I had to spend $175 on a memory foam mattress topper to make the P5 more comfortable. From a totally unrelated company. Sleep Number makes one of their own. But I wasn't paying $300-$400 for it though. So "Lucid" brand, it is. Until that came, I barely slept and woke up in massive pain. 

-I wrote an email detailing everything that's happened and sent it to Sleep Number on November 24. I finally got a phone call...YESTERDAY. On 12/7/15. Only to address my brackets that still aren't here. The rep said she'd call me at 4:30p to help me with the Sleep IQ. But I had to be near my bed because it's a Bluetooth thing. I made sure I was home, much to my six year old's annoyance because he couldn't stay after school to play. No phone call. I went about my business. 

-At 6:50p on December 7th, my phone rang and it's Sleep Number. I said I was supposed to get a call at 4:30, I was there, and no one called. The rep said he sees 5:30. No matter- It's NOW ALMOST 7p! I said I wasn't home and wouldn't be until 10p. He said they're closed at that time and someone could call me first thing in the morning. I said I can talk and be near the bed at 9:30a. I said I won't be holding my breath for the call though. He promised I would be the first call of the day. I rushed around this morning to be able to deal with the bed. It's now 2:22p, I'm at work, and I haven't heard a peep from Sleep Number.

So...I don't know whether to laugh, cry, scream, or what. I've written, called, tweeted, and emailed. All to no avail. Every time I speak to someone over there, all I hear is #SorryNotSorry. Because in NO way are they sorry enough. They should be doing SOMETHING for me. They could start by SENDING ME MY F'ING BRACKETS though. At this point, I'm just tweeting them how they suck to make myself feel better. Seeing as they're not really keen on doing anything to rectify all their mistakes, mishaps, and crappy customer service. I've done everything humanly possible to resolve my issues with them.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Guns for Brains


I don't pretend to understand guns. I just don't understand them, period. I watch the news every single day, multiple times a day, and the more I watch, the less I understand. I don't understand the urge to hold one, shoot one, and I don't get the sex appeal. I sort of get the hunting thing, seeing as many deer just hanging around Bergen County, when growing up, I don't think I ever saw one in person. Clearly, since stealing all their land, they're displaced and overpopulated. And according to Darryl Hall, just carriers of Lyme's Disease. Pro-hunting can be argued though- it's for food. We need food. Most of us can go to a supermarket but you want venison, killed yourself? Fine. It's not my thing but the argument makes sense.

I'm not a dummy. I don't live in a bubble. While I don't live in a bubble, I can only go by my own experiences and what I see every day on the news. What I see happening daily are gun massacres, gun accidents resulting in death, children killing children. In just about every case, the guns were "bought legally". So when I hear or read pro-gun folks cry about how gun laws aren't going to stop criminals from getting guns illegally, I don't even know what to do with that. Well, no, gun laws probably won't stop anyone from getting guns illegally. BUT WE STILL HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE LEGAL ONES.

I am not up to illegal weapons on my priority list when it's ones that are obtained legally that are killing people every single day. It's common sense that if you don't have anything to hide, and you're relatively sane, then you shouldn't care if the gun laws are strict.

2nd Amendment, blah blah. The 2nd Amendment was written in the 1700's! There has to be some sense in what holds up and doesn't two hundred years later! I want to be able to protect my family, blah blah. Obama wants to disarm us to take over like Hitler. Blah, and blah. I'm pretty sure it's not Obama's fault that Henry W Bartle, 18, of Rome, NY killed his girlfriend's seven month old baby with a shotgun he was cleaning...NEXT TO THE BABY.

How about the fact that I just googled "boy shoots friend by accident" and pages came up. And the dates were like a week apart. All different incidents. All different ages, from little kids to teens. Then I googled "home owner saves family by shooting perp" just for comparison. Yeah, not that many. Not even close to how many "accidental" shootings there have been. I'm not even including purposeful just-white-man-on-a-rampage-ones. I'm going out on a limb to say that we're not talking about the illegal weapons trade either. We're probably talking Walmart specials. Or gun show wares. Makes no difference to me.

I'm forty-one years old. I've never seen a gun up close, held one, shot one, or been close to anyone who has one for protection. How? Why? BECAUSE THERE HASN'T BEEN A NEED. If they're stored the way they're legally supposed to be stored, and someone breaks into my house, am I going to be able to get to it, get it loaded, and shoot? I don't think so. Nor would I want to try. We installed dead-bolts. We have an alarm that's on home or not. We have cameras watching the outside of my house. Groupon mistakenly sent me five cameras. Groupon has terrible customer service (another post entirely), so I couldn't even get in touch with anyone there to tell them I got five cameras sent to me out of the blue. So I put them up. I have a panic button thing. I think I'm set to leave the shooting to the professionals. I don't even live in a high crime area, AND our police, despite what you may read lately, are extremely competent.

I have seventeen hundred Facebook friends. Some of them are pro-gun nuts. Yep, I said it. Nuts. Not just legal gun owners, but people unwilling to listen to reason, standing their pro-gun shoot-em-up ground, 2nd Amendment twisters. I've yet to hear of one story of anyone I know personally having saved themselves from a home invasion because they had a gun. 

I do know that in most of Bergen County, NJ, there is no need to have a gun. Especially if you have little kids. I guarantee your little one gets into the gun stash before you ever actually need or can use it on some mythical perpetrator coming to invade your house. Unless you're sleeping with a loaded gun under your pillow every night, you're never getting to that gun fast enough to do anything correctly with it. If you do sleep with a loaded gun under your pillow, I'm taking the bet you shoot your face off before it protects you from an intruder.

I don't pretend to know what it's like to live somewhere else. I only know what it's like here. There is no one that can convince me that stricter gun laws would make any negative difference to any law abiding citizen that isn't planning an attack on anyone. Maybe in high crime areas with gangs in on illegal gun trade, I can sort of understand where it could be a problem if it's harder for the Average Joe/Jane to get a gun to feel safe in their own home. Even so, I'm not saying to get rid of guns completely, but it should be more difficult to get them. Also, the KIND of guns sold to civilians is a problem that needs to be corrected. No one needs an AK-47 or whatever assault rifles are. I can't come up with one good reason someone needs to have that hanging around their house. Anywhere. If you have that, you're just one postal moment away from being a psychopath on a shooting spree.

We can't police stupid and we can't police mental health. So we have to police weapons. That's the only logical answer. I've heard all the stupid arguments that come up about not blaming the car when someone runs someone over or crashes and other analogies. However, most of these analogies don't make any sense. A gun's only purpose is to kill or maim. A car has a main purpose of getting someone from one place to another. Having nothing to do with killing or maiming. If that happens, it's unfortunate, tragic, sad, etc, but it's not the actual purpose for existing. Guns have no other purpose but to do damage. I don't understand why that fact isn't common sense. That I even have to type that out is tragic.

Stupidity and mental health are huge problems facing society. Our mental health system is broken beyond discussion. Every time there is mass shooting or some other tragic shooting in the news, the pro-NRA nuts start yelling about how it's mental health that's the problem and not the guns. "IT'S NOT GUNS THAT KILL PEOPLE! PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE!" Most of these nuts consider themselves Republicans. Republicans don't want to pay for mental health programs. THAT, friends, is where the system is broken. Certain groups not only don't want to pay for mental health programs, but actively vote against any mental health reforms and rally others to vote against. So what then? We just blame mental health problems, shrug, send out a tweet of "Prayers for the shooting victims of the week" and go on with our days? How insane does that sound?? I'd like to see the NRA put up the billions for mental health programs. Then they'd have a leg to stand on. Maybe.

We don't know why this couple, this week, decided to shoot up the husband's work place and kill all those innocent people. All we do know is that the guns were obtained legally. We do know there has to be a better way. Let's hope someone has the balls to implement that better way. Soon.

I'm just going to leave this here:

Friday, November 13, 2015

Rocca- Hiring!

This is one of our favorite restaurants so I thought I'd pass their craigslist ad along:

Experienced Line Cook, Restaurant Manager, Busser (Glen Rock)

ROCCA is a chef-owned, family run restaurant with an eclectic menu featuring both classic Italian and New American cuisine. Rocca provides warm hospitality and supports the community, as well as local purveyors.

We're looking for great team members to help us continue to meet and exceed our guest's expectations. If you are a high-energy team player who will do what it takes to ensure guest satisfaction, you've found the perfect match.

We have opportunities available for:
RESTAURANT MANAGER (5 day work week, 50-60 hours)
and BUSSER (Bus boy/bus girl)
and EXPERIENCED LINE COOK experienced in upscale cooking/dining

For the cook and manager positions we'd like for you to have:

2-3+ years of upscale casual or casual dining management experience
High Volume experience a plus
You should be a leader with a positive attitude, enthusiasm and a passion for our guests
Excellent communication skills and a strong attention to detail

Manager should also have:
Outstanding leadership skills, with the ability to effectively communicate, train and develop our team.
Strong computer skills in word, excel and Wordpress are a plus!

We want to hear from you! Email resume...

Equal Opportunity Employer.

203 Rock Road
Glen Rock, NJ

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Vet Dispatch

Our mobile veterinariansI usually meet people wherever I go. Networking is just in my blood. Not even for the usual purpose of networking. I'm not selling anything to anyone or trying to get a job. Sometimes I just like talking. I like chatting with people I don't know. I've met some really cool and interesting people in the strangest of places. I've learned things I didn't know, gathered important information, and sometimes, just got a good laugh. Granted, you never know what you're going to get and I've been immersed in full on crazy with some of the new folks I've opted to converse with. For the most part though, I've come out with positive getting to know you experiences.

E's been on a swim team since September. I really haven't met or clicked with too many of the parents. It's a little cliquey, a little bit language barrier, and I guess the nature of the sport. I'm totally new to swim as a parent and I was never a swimmer. So I don't really know what he's doing down there. To me, it's just, back and forth, back and forth. You're not cheering on a team, and in the meets, sometimes the kids are swimming against their own team members. They're a team but it's also really individual. It's just different than I think the camaraderie is between the parents at other sports.

I finally ended up talking to a mom, Tracy Cohen-Grady at a practice a few weeks ago. Her daughter swims in a higher level than E. I heard her talking to another parent, sounding like she knew what she was talking about regarding the team and such, so I chimed in. I needed SOMEONE to guide me and give me the lowdown on how this sport works. Or I need someone to be able to ask questions at least. She is super friendly and nice so the hour went by very quickly. I told her what I do and then asked what she does for a living. She was knitting so I thought it would have something to do with that. She does sell her knitting, which are very cool looking holiday ornament covers, but she does something else that's pretty unique and cool that I'm writing about today.

Tracy is a veterinarian. She works with VETdispatch which is a house call veterinary practice.  They basically take their exam and treatment rooms with them into the comfort of the patient's home. I don't have pets, but I do have a lot of friends with pets. I hear never-ending stories about how hard it is to transport animals. They don't like the carrier, the car, or they just know they must be going to the doctor. Kind of like a toddler.This idea seems like a great one. Just like when we're sick, or our kids, it would sometimes be really nice to be able to go back to the days of doctor house calls. If your pet is really sick, I'm sure that often, it seems like the worst or meanest idea ever to have to move him or her. 

Check them out. They're providing a great service. They service NJ, CT, MD, DC and PA. There are numbers to call for each area on their website.
Their website is


Tuesday, November 3, 2015


It's the beginning of a new month and while the weather here is positively lovely, I have another heart-tugging story to share. I wish I didn't. It actually sucks. It isn't my story. A friend of mine wrote me the other morning. Toni Drummond, a Zeta Tau Alpha sister, not from Rider but from an alumni group I used to belong to, asked me if I would share this story. It's about her nephew. If I can help, I help. The only way I really have of helping people is through my blog.

I copied the story from the GoFundMe page. Two weeks old is too young to have to deal with disease. At any age, no one wants to hear words like tumor or cancer. But two weeks old breaks my heart. If you feel so inclined....

From the GoFundMe:

Last Wednesday Ryan and Tara received news that no parents should ever have to hear. Their story begins like this.....

During a routine 2 week checkup, for a seemingly perfect and healthy baby boy, the pediatrician identified that Jackson's belly was distended. After a quick exam, and a second opinion, it was recommended that Jackson be taken to the ER to investigate the cause. They made their way to the ER right away, and after an MRI and Xray, it was determined that Jackson had Neuroblastoma. Neuroblastoma is a rare pediatric cancer, that requires specialized treatment. Jackson was immediately transferred to Hackensack Hospital for further testing. Jackson had to undergo an additional MRI with contrast to see where the tumor was, and how far it had spread. Tumors were identified within the spinal cord and adrenal glands; which is typical of Neuroblastoma, but it had also spread to the liver, causing the abdominal distention. A biopsy was done of the liver, and a central line was placed in Jackson's chest in order to immediately begin chemotherapy.

Jackson is now undergoing rounds of chemo that cycle 3 days on and 3 weeks off. Jackson has certainly inherited his strong will to be a fighter from his mommy and daddy. Looking at this handsome boy, you would never be able to tell how sick he is. He has been such a good boy through this all, and we all can't wait for this to be behind the family.

There is a long road ahead of the Walsh family, and we don't know what the future will bring with medical bills or out of pocket expenses. This page is geared to prepare the family for their future.

Tara and Ryan appreciate the outpouring of love, support and prayers that have been offered to their family in this time of need.

Facebook Page for Jackson- for info, updates, etc -


Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Feel the Pulse

I got an email about a month or so ago from Linda at World Sports Academy/Pulse Cafe in Westwood asking me if I wanted to have a free "play date" at their new facility for up to 20 kids, including mine. She wanted me to be able to check it out. I told her that I'd love to and that I write this blog, so if we like it, I'd write about it. She said she knew of my blog, so I guess that's how she found me. In any event, I was happy to have a new kid venue to try. It's almost November and I guess I need to start thinking about E's birthday. Considering he's been thinking about it before his last birthday ended.

Westwood isn't far but isn't exactly close either. It's just not somewhere I would ordinarily think of to do a kid party. On a Sunday it's fine, thanks to the Bergen County Blue Laws (not allowing most retail shopping on Sundays). With no traffic, we could be there in around fifteen minutes. I made this play date for quarter after ten in the morning, on a Sunday, and it would run for an hour. I didn't know what would be planned for the kids but I rounded up whoever I could think of off the top of my head. Mostly kids who are only children or ones with a sibling close in age. It's a lot to ask parents of more kids to shuffle one kid to something like this when I know how many other sports and various obligations people have when they have more kids. As it was, I had many who I knew wouldn't be available because of religious school or soccer. Neither of which we are involved in. A few days prior to the event I had fifteen kids. Add in sickness and pop-up emergencies, I think we ended up with ten, maybe eleven kids.

World Class Sports Academy/Pulse is located at 701 Broadway in Westwood, on the right hand side, going toward Hillsdale. It's actually across from the Kmart shopping plaza. Everything in there is brand new. They built the whole thing out. The first thing you see is Pulse Cafe in the front. It's spacious and the food selection is really amazing for something inside a "gym". They're a training gym, a cafe, and have an area in the back where they put turf down to do soccer clinics and birthday parties. It's a very cool set-up.

I will say off the bat- I don't know much about the gym/training aspect of it because that's not what I was there for. I wasn't sure what their main business was when I accepted the offer to come in. I am just interested in what's available in the way of events geared for kids.

I'm sure many people don't know that Pulse is open to the public. It's not just a cafe inside a gym. It could be free-standing. It's large enough and you can see it from outside. You do NOT need to have a gym membership to go to the cafe for your protein shake or to sit with a cup of coffee and bagel.

They serve breakfast, lunch, salads, specialty beverages and snacks. It's different than just going to chain coffee place because Pulse really has a large variety of more healthy choices. I feel like other places have some healthy options but it's still hard to keep kids away from junk. Here, they have a great majority of healthy vs the other way around. They are open many hours daily, so it's also very convenient. The current hours are- Mon-Fri: 6a-8p and Sat/Sun: 7a-6p. They have a large flat screen tv with Direct TV where they can also screen sporting events for groups. They are considering doing a "Dad's Day" where dads and kids can come in to watch football. It's definitely a cute place where moms can come meet up with or without their kids. I know they're always trying to come up with new classes or events for parents and kids to be able to use their space to their advantage. So, if you have an idea of how you or your group could utilize them, go in and speak to them. Allen Gross is the owner.

Back to our event- We were taken to the back rooms where kid parties and sport clinics are held. There is a nice room for parents to sit in that is closed off by a door to the turf area. It also has a large flat screen tv. In the turf area they had a large bounce house/slide set up and then had some balls the kids could throw around. Jessi came to greet all the kids. She wanted to wait until most of them were there so the kids had some free play and bounce time before she organized anything. It was a Sunday morning, kids full of energy, so that was nice. After a little while she then had some of them playing games and the rest of them could continue to bounce. They all seemed to have a great time, no one ended up hurt or maimed and the hour went really fast.

E asked if we could come back, so that's always a good sign. All the parents who were there thought it was a nice, clean space and were happy with their choice of how to spend an hour on a Sunday morning. My one friend who was there said she was most likely going to book a party for her younger son who was there with her. They have a great deal going for parties/field rental right now- 50% off for November.

For more information:

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Superhero Dylan

This is E's friend Dylan. We can't go because we have another commitment but I did want to spread the word. It's a great reason for a morning run!

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

I Want To Know

I've been meaning to get to this entry. I've been writing it for like two months now. Knowing it's probably going to be somewhat controversial or ruffle some feathers though, I want to make sure I'm articulating it all the way I want it to come out. Since school is now in full swing and I'm reading on my message boards how awful kids are to each other, I think it's important to make sure I get this done.

A friend of mine posted this article from the Scary Mommy site on Facebook a few weeks ago. It's called - "If my kid is being an asshole, I want you to tell me". I don't know this site, because I generally don't read parenting blogs or articles anymore, which I've mentioned. Just my personal preference. I'm not interested in reading about other people's "sage" parenting advice or whatever. But I read this and my thoughts were- "Hell, YEAH." If my kid is being an asshole- I WANT TO KNOW. That's not just posturing. Anyone that knows me or my kid, knows I'm fine with hearing the truth about my kid. And then actually applying the appropriate discipline or teaching.

My kid is NOT perfect. Not even close. But he's NICE. He's a NICE KID. Or, at least, that's what I'm told. There have been instances, seldom, but instances, nonetheless, that I've been told occurred, that I wasn't happy about. Things that I felt warranted a further discussion. Nothing mean though. Nothing that ever made me embarrassed that it was my kid- having to do with hurting someone's feelings. And I would DIE if another parent or the school ever told me he was rude, disrespectful, mean, or the bully. I'd be furious, sad, angry and bewildered.

I've been working on this stuff with him since he started school at two years old. We would discuss being a good friend, what that means and entails, standing up for the underdog, not being a sheep, etc. He KNOWS. I'm confident he knows the right way to act. Will he always act the way I want or expect him to? No. But will he take it far enough to be considered an asshole? To be a bully? To have other parents hear his name and roll their eyes? Hell to the NO. That's what I believe right now, when he's six and a half and I have a lot of control over his behavior. But so help him if he doesn't act right, I would expect someone to tell me.

There are kids I can think of, just off the top of my head, that when their names are said, other parents just sort of look at each other and nod in understanding. Not in a good way. I always wonder if the mothers of these children know this happens and if they care. I'm not one to care about appearances, or keeping up with the Joneses or Kardashians or whoever, but I do care that other parents don't think, "OH CRAP!" when they find out my son is on their kid's team or in their class. If more parents cared more about the impression their kid makes on other kids and adults, than the impression other kids and adults are making on their kid, we'd be in business. Business of nicer kids.

I didn't repost the Scary Mommy article because I decided I wanted to write this entry. I wanted to repost it when I saw it, but I also wanted to do it during the day when it would get the most eyeballs. Why? Well, I wanted to see who and how many would agree and say "Me too!". I think initially, anyone would agree, because most of it seems like common sense. However, when it really comes down to it, knowing who I know, I definitely know a few that they don't want to know. They might hit like on the article or say they would want to know, but I really don't think they would.

B doesn't really have much of an opportunity to be with E and kids he knows. He's not at the park with them or at activities. There was an instance where B happened to be around E and a kid we've known for a few years now. Long story short, B was playing with the two boys and the other boy was so extremely rude and disrespectful to B that B was too taken aback to even really respond. Beyond telling the kid that he and E weren't going to play with him any longer that day, he didn't know what he was supposed to do. B came back to me so irritated, bewildered, and questioned what would've been the appropriate action to have taken.

I wasn't surprised this happened. In the least. I know this kid, I'm fully versed in how he treats people, and this was not a first time offense by any stretch of the imagination. I'm also confident that his parents would say, "Not my kid!" or give some excuse of tired, hungry, etc. I would bet my life they would not own this behavior as typical of their child nor would they do anything about it. He has an older sibling who I have have heard be just as rude and disrespectful to others with no consequence given by the parents. Just excuses given. They aren't bad people, nor are they mean people. They just have a very idealized view of their children. They aren't the first and they aren't the last.

I read the article maybe a few days to a week after that incident. Then I was told of another instance where a little girl was bullying others. When the mother was told, her answer was shock and surprise, saying that her daughter is the nicest. My jaw dropped. This wasn't an isolated instance. Not by a long shot. I, myself, have HEARD this child basically tell her mother off in front of other kids and parents, in public places. I've heard her be nasty and rude. So how is her mother truly shocked when her daughter gets in trouble somewhere for this kind of behavior? It's true shock too- it's not just fronting. How does this happen?

If you're worried either of the children in my examples might be yours, it's time to start discussing appropriate behaviors with your kid(s). You HAVE to have these conversations. Especially if you suspect your kid could have the propensity towards being the "mean" kid. Even if you're not sure what kind of kid you have. You still have to talk about being a friend, being caring, being the one to stick up for others when they can't stick up for themselves. Be the one to talk to or sit with the kid who seems to be alone a lot. None of this is just common sense to all kids. It isn't just important that they read or write. They can be the smartest in the room but if they're also the meanest, you're not doing your job.

Those kids who have parents who don't stress kindness & respect turn into adults who don't practice them either. There are two kinds of adults- the ones you're happy when good comes to them & sad when bad comes to them- because they're good people. Then the other- the ones you're not particularly sad for when bad comes their way and you're not happy for them when good comes their way. Because they were always the asshole. From child to the present. You REMEMBER those people from elementary school. I heard a scandalous story recently about a guy I knew as a kid. My first reaction was- "Yeah, he was always a dick. Even as a little kid." Well, that's not the adult I plan to raise.

I'd tell you straight out if you're wondering if you're housing the asshole, but like I said- I'm pretty sure not all parents want to know. So unless you're really concerned with changing this kind of behavior, don't ask.

Yes, personality is both nature and nurture. All kids are going to say things, at some point, that are nasty or hurtful. It's part of growing up. Learning how to treat people. It's not even always "bullying". I think bullying is a systematic thing. Like when it doesn't let up. It's not just a one time lash out. Everyone has a lash-out. Lash-out or bullying, whichever it is, I don't wholly fault them for doing it. We all have to make mistakes and gain lessons from them. However, I do also fault the adults in their life for not redirecting them. For not teaching them a better way to communicate and/or to get what they need and want. For wearing blinders to the faults of their child(ren). For not being able to be objective enough to notice that your child treats peers and elders with a level of disrespect that warrants further investigation or deep discussion by teachers, other school officials, or other parents.

We can be nasty, rude and disrespectful as adults. It's not like it's something specific to age. We all make mistakes, get in bad moods, say things we mean to be funny but end up hurting feelings. The difference is, as adults, we know the difference between right and wrong. Whether we act on the right is another story. We do know what is hurtful and crossing a line. We can have a thoughtful conversation after and resolve it. Through age and life experience we can have the confidence to tell someone they've hurt our feelings or be able to let what someone else says just roll off our back. Kids don't have all that. The kids who aren't treated nicely often suffer silently because they're afraid of making it worse in some way. The ones that bully or are just nasty keep doing it because they can. It gives them a feeling of power. Well, it's our job to teach them that they can BE powerful human beings, but not in that way. THAT way is completely unacceptable.

Scary Mommy article:

Monday, October 12, 2015

The Important Questions- re: Carver Report

This may only be of interest to those living in Glen Rock or those who have lived in Glen Rock. I think it's an important letter to post because it illustrates how out of control a town government and police upper management can become when they just go rogue and allowed to do whatever they want. So it might be of interest to others outside of town because you never know when it will happen in your own backyard.

Our town paid THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS for a ridiculously worded report about the climate/culture in the current police department. It basically says that people like to go to work there so it will be fine eventually. It reads like marriage counseling notes.

This letter below, written by two current residents is amazingly more intelligent, professional, and comprehensive, than what we were given. The original report Rebecca & Kevin are responding to is at the bottom of this page.

Rebecca grew up in Glen Rock and moved back to Glen Rock in 2007.  She has two kids currently in the Glen Rock school system.  She is a lawyer licensed in California and New York and her law firm (Quadra & Coll) is based in California.  She travels a lot for work but fortunately can do most of her work from Glen Rock by telecommuting.

I always read her posts on the Glen Rock Facebook pages and feel like she is right on point. So I am happy to share her letter so anyone interested can see what's really going on. I knew bits and pieces of what was going on, but this was so much more eye-opening.

There is a council meeting this upcoming Wednesday October 14th, 2015. The judge is supposed to be there to answer any and all questions. Glen Rock Boro Hall. 8p.

Rebecca's (and Kevin Davitt's) letter:

                                                                                                                        Rebecca Coll
                                                                                                                        Glen Rock, NJ 07452

October 11, 2015


RE:  Judge Carver’s Report Regarding the Glen Rock Police Department

Dear Mayor van Keuren and Council Members:
This letter is to raise certain questions and concerns about the investigation and report conducted by Judge Carver relating to the Glen Rock Police Department, which was disclosed to the public on October 8, 2015.
Judge Carver’s report states he was retained to “investigate the Glen Rock Police Department, to take its pulse as it were, with a particular view to learning how the disciplinary charges for deletion of photographs form a 2005 retirement party came to be brought.”  Judge Carver goes on to state that, however, he is prevented from reporting on the origins of the charges against the two officers because of the pending charges against Detective Sergeant Eric Reamy.  The implication is that Judge Carver is nevertheless reporting on “the pulse” of the GRPD, and excluding only issues relating to the wrongful charges against Chris McInerney and Bryan Scott.
The investigation and report raise certain questions.
1.         Questions Regarding Choice of Investigator and Conflicts
a.       Given the foregoing scope and the brevity of the report, it was surprising to see that Judge Carver spent a full paragraph opining on the propriety of his own disciplinary action against Officer Stanislao.  It was also surprising that Judge Carver disclosed only his own interpretation and feelings about the hearing testimony (which is not available to the public, and with which Officer Stanislao would likely characterize differently).  The limited information disclosed about the circumstances of Officer Stanislao’s termination seems extremely one-sided.  Is there a conflict of interest for Judge Carver to investigate and opine on the propriety of his own interpretation of the evidence in the Stanislao hearing?  How is the Judge’s role as the investigator into the Stanislao matter not a conflict of interest?  
b.      Was it proper to disclose in this manner only the details relating to Officer Stanislao’s disciplinary matter that favor the town’s point of view, with no countervailing points raised?  Why was only the town’s point of view presented in this report? 
c.       Was it proper to disclose the details of the alleged complaint against Officer Stanislao in this context, especially without hearing the other side of the story, or was that a confidential personnel matter?
d.      Last May the council was asked whether it would be better to have a fresh start with a new impartial investigator, and whether it was a conflict for Judge Carver to be the investigator given his role in the Stanislao, McInerney, and Scott cases.  Mr. Garibaldi responded that a new investigator would have “set this back for quite a long time.”  In retrospect, do the council members and the mayor believe an impartial fresh set of eyes would have been more appropriate?
e.       The question was also asked whether the matter could simply be referred to the county prosecutor for investigation.  Mr. Garibaldi responded that the matters did not “rise to the level” that a prosecutor should be involved.  Now though, Judge Carver states that “inconsistencies” were brought to his possession indicating a “lack of response or attention by the GRPD management.”  He states these issues have been referred to the Bergen County Prosecutor’s Office for investigation.  What are those inconsistencies?  Do those “inconsistencies” rise to the level of potential criminal conduct?  If so, why not clearly describe the conduct as Judge Carver did with his opinions about Officer Stanislao?  Why did Judge Carver believe it was appropriate to discuss what led to his decision to terminate Officer Stanislao, yet is safeguarding the personnel and privacy rights of everyone else?
2.         Questions Regarding Claims of Anti-Gay Culture: 
            In the State of New Jersey, it is illegal to discriminate against or harass a person on the basis of sexual orientation.  While the personnel allegations against Officer Stanislao are freely discussed, the serious allegations of anti-gay conduct by the GRPD are ignored in Judge Carver’s report and, presumably, his investigation.  Notwithstanding the apparent conflict of opining on his own decision, it was important for Judge Carver to investigate Officer Stanislao’s claims of an anti-gay culture at the police department, which is certainly relevant to “the pulse” of the police department.  For example: 
a.        Officer Stanislao claims in his lawsuit that Officer Reamy would “dry hump” Stanislao behind Stanislao’s back in front of other officers.  Did Judge Carver ask if that type of behavior was noticed, known or tolerated in the GRPD?  Did he ask if anyone witnessed that behavior, if they felt the management of the GRPD would tolerate that behavior, and why?
b.      Officer Stanislao claims in his lawsuit that he reported violations of rules by Reamy to Chief Stahman, and Reamy was never disciplined.  Did Judge Carver investigate whether management routinely failed to discipline Reamy, as alleged?
c.       Officer Stanislao claims in his lawsuit that Captain Miller, in response to Stanislao’s request for time off relating to high-risk throat surgeries, made a joke about Officer Stanislao’s “gag reflex” and that other officers also made anti-gay jokes to Officer Stanislao.   Did Judge Carver investigate whether that took place?
d.      Officer Stanislao claims in his lawsuit that an officer, in the presence of officers and supervisors, stated, “Stanislao is going to make the kids into a bunch of pussies because he’s a fucking faggot.”  Did Judge Carver investigate whether that took place?  If this happened in the presence of others, it seems like an appropriate area to cover in interviews of officers.
e.       Officer Stanislao claims in his lawsuit that an officer referred to him as “special” and stated that it was a relief not to work with him, and that Officer Stanislao reported this incident to Captain Miller.  Did Judge Carver investigate whether that took place, or whether discipline was imposed?  Officer Stanislao also states in his lawsuit that the same officer made a derogatory comment about Officer Stanislao having coffee with his boyfriend, Officer Stanislao reported that officer for sexual harassment and asked to not work with him.  Officer Stanislao states the response from the GRPD was to suggest that Officer Stanislao be placed instead with the officer who called him a “fucking faggot.”  Did Judge Carver investigate whether that took place?
f.       Was there any inquiry at all into whether the culture of the department is anti-gay, whether anti-gay behavior is tolerated or even encouraged, and what steps have been taken to ensure that the police department is complying with state anti-discrimination laws?
g.      At least one-third of a page in the three page report is devoted to the opinion of the Rodgers Group, which is an accreditation program.  What knowledge, if any, would the Rodgers Group have about any of the foregoing issues?
h.      Why does Judge Carver conclude that Officer Stanislao was not a “good fit?”  Was there any investigation into whether that alleged feeling has any relationship to his sexual orientation, given his experience with multiple named officers in his complaint?
i.        Did Judge Carver find during Officer Stanislao’s disciplinary hearing that he was not harassed for being gay?  If so, why did Chief Stahman falsely and paradoxically go after Chris McInerney for supposedly harassing Officer Stanislao?  Was that issue investigated? 
j.        What is the position of the Glen Rock Mayor and Council on the importance of investigating whether an anti-gay culture exists in the Glen Rock Police Department?  What plan does the Council have to investigate these claims?
3.         Questions Regarding Retaliation for Reporting Sexual Harassment
 The report states that the circumstances relating to wrongful charges against Sgt. McInerney and Officer Scott are not being addressed in this report, presumably because the prosecutor has asked Judge Carver not to address that issue.  However, there are many allegations in the public domain which are not related to those charges which do not seem to have been addressed at all.  For example:
a.          Sgt. McInerney’s complaint stated that he was retaliated against by Chief Stahman before he even became the chief, for reporting sexual harassment at the GRPD.  He also claims that after almost ten years of a clean record, Sgt. McInerney was investigated and reprimanded by Chief Stahman 20 times after he reported sexual harassment.  Was that claim investigated?
b.         What is the position of the Glen Rock Mayor and Council on the importance of investigating whether its chief of police retaliated against a respected Sergeant for reporting sexual harassment in the department?  What plan does the Council have to investigate these claims?
c.          Sgt. McInerney’s complaint states that before he filed his lawsuit, he reported the harassment and retaliation he suffered to the Borough Administrator and Borough Attorney, and that he was thereafter further disciplined and harassed for reporting events to the Borough Administrator and Borough Attorney.  What investigation was conducted to examine that claim?
4.         Credibility Questions
The only substantive conclusions in the report seem too incredible to believe.
a.     It seems extremely unlikely that “the morale of the GRPD dramatically increased with [Chief Stahman’s] promotion to chief” in 2009.  However, more importantly, what is the opinion of the rank-and-file now, in 2015, 6 years later?
b.     Also questionable is the statement that “[Chief Stahman] and Cpt. Miller were considered a good team” (though there is no indication of whether anyone, and if so how many people, would disagree with that statement).  Given the allegations described above and others in the lawsuits, what concerns if any does Judge Carver have about whether the officers were being forthcoming in giving their glowing reviews of Chief Stahman and Cpt. Miller?  How is it possible that morale could be good given Chief Stahman’s actions against two officers and their subsequent return to the force?   
c.     At the same time, Judge Carver also states: “Unfortunately, the result the foregoing (sic) is a rift between the rank-and-file of the Department and its leadership. There seems to be a drumbeat of resentment against the Chief, Captain and Lieutenant, for what many perceive as the rush to judgment in the case of McInerney and Scott.”
        It is questionable that many simply perceived the wrongful charges against the two respected officers as a mere case of a “rush to judgment” rather than retaliation and harassment.  Regardless, Judge Carver believes that the “rift between the rank-and-file of the Department and its leadership” will subside and the department will recover from Chief Stahman’s actions.  The implication of the report is that the department would recover over a “relatively short time” with no change in leadership.
i.                    What qualifications does Judge Carver have to analyze workplace psychology and dynamics?  

ii.                  Did Judge Carver intend to communicate that the department would recover over a “relatively short time” with no change in leadership?

iii.                If so, why does Judge Carver believe it is best to wait and see, rather than make changes? 

iv.                What factors influenced this “wait and heal” recommendation?
v.                  What exactly would Judge Carver prescribe for the “healing and recovery” of the department if not a change in leadership?
vi.                Was it the Council’s intent to obtain a recommendation from Judge Carver on whether the department’s psychology can recover from what has taken place? 

vii.              Is the Council and the Mayor placing any weight on Judge Carver’s opinion about whether the department will recover without personnel changes?
d.     Judge Carver states that “most GRPD officers considered Stanislao a bad fit and a poor police officer.”  However, Judge Carver also states, “a few other members of the GRPD attempted to support and defend him, and felt he had been unfairly targeted.”  Why does Judge Carver state that the members of the GRPD “attempted to support and defend him?”  What does it mean to “attempt” to support someone in this context, or “attempt” to defend him?  Given the relatively small police department and the fact that there has been turnover since Officer Stanislao was fired, is it really fair to imply that “a few” officers supporting and defending Officer Stanislao is insignificant compared with “most” who did not, especially in light of the fact that multiple officers and management level employees who allegedly harassed Officer Stanislao for being gay are still on the force?  Isn’t it incredible that any officers at all had the bravery to support Officer Stanislao given the horrendous allegations of how Officer Stanislao was treated by the management of the department?
e.     With regard to the Rodgers report, what information does Judge Carver have that Tim Rodgers was aware of the wrongful actions being taken against Chris McInerney, Bryan Scott, and Matt Stanislao?  If Mr. Rodgers knew about these issues, how could he have concluded that the GRPD was “professional” or that it had “no major deficiencies?”  If Mr. Rodgers was unaware of these issues, then what is the relevance of his opinion?
5.         Miscellaneous issues
a.       Judge Carver states that Officer Stanislao was disciplined but demanded a hearing, and Judge Carver then imposed a higher discipline- termination.  If you demand a hearing then a harsher disciplinary measure can be imposed?  Does that satisfy Officer Stanislao’s due process rights?  It seems as if appealing from a disciplinary decision should not result in a higher discipline being imposed without notice and an opportunity to be heard on that new higher disciplinary charge.  What is the authority to issue greater discipline at the appeal stage?
b.      The Council referenced in May that there is a statute that provides the Council with authority to appoint an investigator to examine the police department culture.  What is the statute?
c.       What responsibility does the Council place with Chief Stahman for the well-publicized wrongful conduct of Eric Reamy?
As it does not appear that the culture of the GRPD has been adequately examined and/or adequately reported on, a new plan is needed.  Though the employees of the GRPD are likely frustrated with the multiple interviews they have endured, the Council may need to take steps directly to speak with officers, at least on a voluntary basis.  The Council should be open to hearing from officers about their experiences in the department, especially with respect to the issues described above.  Given the history of what has taken place in the GRPD under the leadership of Chief Stahman, and the current state of matters at the department, the Council should fire the chief of police, or ask for his resignation, and undertake a search for a new chief who can bring unity and an atmosphere of respect to the department.

Finally, the council should not to sit silently while Judge Carver addresses questions in his report.  Members of the community have entrusted the council to govern this town, to speak up and to take actions when necessary.  It does a disservice to the town to fail to be forthright and vocal about any concerns or opinions the council members and mayor may have regarding these issues.   

Becca Coll                                                       Kevin G. Davitt 

Carver Report below: