Monday, December 30, 2013

No Talking PLEASE

No Littering PLEASE. No Smoking PLEASE. Remember when they actually had to tell you not to smoke? I can't even imagine what people would do if someone just lit up a cigarette in a movie theater. They'd flip out for sure. Because it's gross and rude. And illegal. Yet, people do a host of truly appalling things at the movies and while none of it is illegal, it's RUDE. Or whatever the word would be for worse than rude.

As I was leaving the movie theater last night I said to B that I was going to write this entry and get a TON of feedback. Feedback AGREEING with me. Yet SOMEONE, MANY someones, are committing these *crimes* against humanity so before you go agreeing with me, make sure it's not you too!!

I'm talking about movie theater etiquette. Is there such a thing? Not that I've seen. Not since cell phones became a staple for every person from tweens to seniors.

Every single time we go to the movies something ridiculous happens. We went to see the movie World Trade Center in 2006. An emotional movie, to say the least. As the TOWERS ARE COMING DOWN, in the movie, the lady next to B ANSWERED HER CELL PHONE. TWICE. He literally grabbed her leg and told her to hang up the phone. She got all huffy and said- "SORRY! I'M NOT PERFECT!". Ok. Well, it would be perfect if you would just not answer your phone in the movie theater.

I don't know. I thought movies were supposed to be an escape of sorts. Unless you're a brain surgeon on call, I really don't know why you can't turn it on vibrate, put it in your pocket and forget about it until the credits come on. I keep mine on vibrate, in my lap, under a napkin so the light won't bother anyone, and that's just to make sure the babysitter isn't texting me. One of my sitters took Ethan outside and locked herself out when we were at a movie, so once that has happened, I like to be somewhat reachable. But not for Facebook or texting! If I want to Facebook or text during a movie, I'll stay home! WHAT IS THAT IMPORTANT DURING A MOVIE??

Stein, B and I waited and waited to see the first Sex and the City movie. Pre-E, living in Englewood, my favorite theater was Edgewater. We waited on a ridiculously long line and we were like the first people. We got awesome seats, were so excited and it was packed. Of course, in front of us are a group of women, of undetermined ethnicity, ON THE PHONE, MID-MOVIE, in another language. Just chatting away like they were in their own living room. B was kicking their chairs and I am telling them to shut up. The one just looked at us and raised her arms as if to say, "What? What's the big deal?". And these are ADULTS. Baffling and infuriating. NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR CONVERSATION ANYWHERE, let alone THE MOVIE THEATER.

This brings me to last night's movie. I'm sure there were many more examples I could give but I can't come up with them off the top of my head right now. Granted, this particular movie was kind of a real male bonding, testosterone heavy flick. On my right I had what looked like Ronnie from Jersey Shore, his dad and dad's friends that looked like Johnny Sak from Sopranos. In front of me I had the Alpha Betas from Revenge of the Nerds, and next to me, what looked to be a normal couple. If I gave you a trivia question of who would be the a-hole in this movie scenario, who do you think it would be? Well, if you said either the frat brothers in front of me or the Pauly D's next to me, you'd be 1/3 right. Because the major problem was the tool couple next to B.

The guy came in and said something rude about B's drink being in the wrong armrest. Then they talked and laughed through most of the first half. Finally B said something nice, I said, "SHUT UP SHUT UP", again, as I tend to rage like that when people ruin my movie experience, and they did not shut up. I didn't know it, but then B also spent the rest of the movie waiting for the guy to sucker punch him so he was all geared up to end up in a fight. My forty-four year old, 5'8, 150 lb husband, is all cocked and ready to pounce all because of PTSD from a high school sucker punch. Apparently he always had a loud-mouth girl on his arm causing trouble for him. Anyway- point being, he's scrappy and he was ready. Good thing it didn't come to that.

B hit me on the arm like five minutes later to show me that the male part of the couple was pouring VODKA into his soda from a FULL BOTTLE OF BELVEDERE. These were not children! Who the hell comes to the movies to get sloshed? Maybe I'm old, or just really like my movies sober, but I can't even imagine wanting to get drunk after paying $16 a ticket to go to the theater. Again, that's SOMETHING YOU CAN DO AT HOME. And just...WHY?? It's not like watching Pink Floyd's The Wall! Or some other movie you watch for the express purpose of getting fucked up to watch it. I could even see if it was the frat guys who were drinking. Because that's what frat guys do. But a couple? On a Sunday night date? I felt like I was in an alternate universe.

But the frat guys aren't off the hook either. Two of them were texting significantly. I know you may not *think* it's annoying, but it totally is. You SEE the light out of the corner of your eyes. I could READ their stupid texts because in stadium seating, they're sitting below me. No one cares, bro, what you're doing tomorrow and whether or not you're going back to the mall or a different mall.

I'm the most wired, plugged in person I know. I'm ALWAYS online. I'm usually watching tv, on FB, reading magazines, and reading message board posts all at the same time. But I'm IN MY HOUSE when I'm doing all that at once. I'm only annoying my husband, not a hundred other people, strangers, in a place where I have no business doing so.

Next time you go to the movies, look around. Notice there *are* other people sitting around you. People that maybe haven't been able to get out to a movie in months or a year. People who are paying babysitters as much money as it cost to see a movie and get some treats. People who want to be able to hear, get lost in a story, and ESCAPE for two to three hours. Recognize that you aren't that important & that Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram will all still be there by the time the movie ends. You aren't missing ANYTHING, except the movie, when you text, Facebook or TALK on the phone or to the person next to you, during the film. If you're that worried about what is going on in the rest of the world for the short amount of time you're in the theater, you need to be texting a good therapist instead of your bros, hos, etc.

Thank you for coming & enjoy the show!

Friday, December 27, 2013

The Honey Pot

Yes, that's the real name of the place I'm about to tell you about- The Honey Pot. It's not just a clever blog entry name to get people to open it.

I get inundated with emails from Groupon, Living Social, and Amazon Local. Half the time, I don't know which is which and most of the time I don't open them. UNLESS, the subject line says Botox or Brazilian Waxing. Because I'm always willing to at least entertain a deal on either one of those.

I said I'd go back to my original waxer. And I probably will, sometime. But a few months ago I went to European Wax Center in Wyckoff and reviewed that in my entry Bare Chuckalina :

And it was fine. Not blow-your-mind-great though. But what stuck with me was the stripless wax they use. It was SO much LESS painful than the wax done with cloth strips. The thought of going back to strips just paralyzes me from making an appointment with my prior wax lady. The pain is terrible. She thinks I'm a wuss but it really hurts. Especially in comparison to stripless.

So I opened up Amazon Local to find a 1/2 off deal for a Brazilian at The Honey Pot. I normally wouldn't consider Mahwah because it just seems far from me. With traffic, it could take me over a half hour to get to some parts. But then I thought, it could take me over thirty minutes to get to Fort Lee with traffic also. I knew it sounded familiar because my friend Cheryl had just recommended it to me not that long before I saw this deal. I just decided to buy it. It was $21 so I really couldn't beat that to try a new place. I'm not that keen on getting naked for just anyone to cause pain in my nether region but I did need to find another option to start going on the regular.

I bought the deal in either October or the first week in November and I thought it was expiring in January. I realized it was almost January and I hadn't made an appointment. I knew I had a babysitter coming so I just bit the bullet and called. I have to make note of one thing too- the person who answered the phone there was the most friendly, chipper, receptionist I think I've ever encountered. Sadly, you almost expect someone to be kind of rude and unfriendly when you're making an appointment anywhere. Or maybe that's just E's doctor's offices. Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised by the lovely phone reception.

I was a little apprehensive pulling in because it looks like a house. A residential house. But I walked in and it was super clean, neat, and warm. There were candles lit and smelled nice. I don't think I waited more than a minute before my "wax technician" (I just made that up but that might be what they call themselves) was ready for me. Her name is also Tara. Now, Cheryl recommended Tara. When I called, I was going to see if I could get an appointment with her but then I had a panic moment thinking maybe that's not her name. So I just made the appointment with whoever was going to be able to take me at the time I could go. But, it actually was Tara, coincidentally, who was to be my technician.

I think I got naked at 12:47p and I looked at the clock in the car as I was pulling out of the driveway and it was 1:07p. She did a really good job. MUCH better than the girl did at European Wax Center. When I left there, there were definite spots she missed. I just didn't know what they do or don't do since it had been so long since I'd been to anyone other than the person I'd been going to since 2003. But now that Tara did her thing, I see, the girl at EWS just didn't do it all, but should have. Tara was friendly, quick, and efficient. She really didn't cause much pain, and trust me, she could have. I highly recommend her and I will be coming back.

Their prices are really reasonable. A full Brazilian is $42. I've seen and had them upwards of $75. I wouldn't do it again at $75 and that was at Completely Bare in NYC but $42 is a really good price. They do waxing on both women and men and they also do different kinds of facials that don't exceed $100. The highest priced wax is $60 for a full leg but I think that's on par with any other spa I've been to in the area. I'm pretty sure I've done a Brazilian and a full leg at a local spa and it cost me somewhere between $125-$150.

It was also pretty easy to get an appointment, only calling the day before. Maybe people are waiting until this Monday or Tuesday to get their New Years wax on but The Honey Pot IS closed on Sunday and Monday. So if NYE is what you want to be bare for, you best get in there by tomorrow!

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Bid Up A Storm


These are my girls....It would be great if you could support in any way!!!

Are you or a friend a single, fun, and attractive outgoing guy or girl? Then we want to meet you! We are accepting nominations for eligible bachelors and bachelorettes for this year's auction - NOW through JANUARY 10th, 2014
Join us for an entertaining evening of cocktails, socializing, great silent auction items, and the chance to win a date with the New York City's most eligible bachelors and bachelorettes!
The proceeds from the event will benefit WGIRLS INC and the Young Women's Leadership Network.
Thursday, January 23rd, 2014
7:00 PM - 11:00 PM
(one-hour premium open bar from 7-8 PM)
Highline Ballroom
431 West 16th Street
$55 Individual General Admission
$200 Group Admission for 4
Limited VIP Admission also offered: 
Individual VIP Admission - $75
(Separate VIP entry, access to VIP balcony area for
private open bar hour & mingling with other VIPs and Bachelors/ettes!)
VIP Table Service Package of 4 - $400
(One bottle of Absolut Vodka with mixers, Separate VIP entry, access to VIP balcony area for private open bar hour & mingling with other VIPs and Bachelors/ettes!)
VIP Table Service Package of 6 - $600
(One bottle of Absolut Vodka with mixers, Separate VIP entry, access to VIP balcony area for private open bar hour & mingling with other VIPs and Bachelors/ettes!)
View Photos from last year's event!
***Stay tuned for more event details, including who the bachelors and bachelorettes are, in the coming weeks.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Lyrically Messaged

Possibly controversial thought of the day:

I will preface this by saying I am not a big fan of rap OR country music. I know very little about both. My previously strong dislike of country music has been lessened a bit by my love of the show Nashville. And there is some mainstream pop/rap I enjoy. So I'm not even "for" or "against" either. I'm just making an observation.

What I do know is that there is always issue with rap lyrics, censorship, and general problem with the subject matter that gets enough attention where I'm aware of it without being a listener. Yet, I've NEVER heard about country song lyrics being inappropriate. Yet, the few songs I've heard are about destruction of property for cheating, smoking, shooting, and lots of drinking. Whole songs about Whiskey. That kids seem to be encouraged to listen to.

Now, I'm the LAST person to chastise anyone for what is or isn't inappropriate kid listening music. My kid is REALLY into Pitbull right now. Enough said. My thoughts on this whole subject came up because I was watching a piece on GMA this morning. They showed a little girl whose Make A Wish Foundation wish was to meet Luke Bryan and he was singing with her. The words they were singing were:  Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey, whiskey makes my baby feel a little frisky. He'd sing one line and she sang the next. When SHE sang the word "frisky" Luke Bryan and her family laughed. Cute, right? I don't know. No it isn't awful & I certainly wouldn't have a problem with E listening to it. E was singing Ke$ha's "I brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack" when he was two and a half. He wasn't old enough to know or even ask what Jack actually IS and I'm just not that caught up in what that would mean to him. I'm also not conservative at all and song lyrics don't happen to be my hill to die on. I was just surprised at this little Luke Bryan/little girl duet. It's a morning show, it's pretty much all supposed to be feel-good stuff in these human interest stories. It seemed early in the day for public whiskey and frisky. I stopped what I was doing to see how old of a kid this was singing with him. I just looked her up and she's eight years old. I used to be a camp counselor for eight year old girls. They're pretty astute. Is she not going to ask what whiskey is and how it's going to make someone frisky? It just seemed...odd. Odd for what I assume was supposed to be a cute morning show segment.

It just brought me back to an episode of American Idol when Skylar Laine was doing a cover of Gunpowder & Lead. I'd never heard it, of course, but I looked up from my computer, while she was singing, because I was like, "WHAT is she singing?? Did she just say something about smoking cigarettes and getting a shotgun? All while dancing and smiling?". I get that the song is about a woman whose boyfriend or husband hit her so she was taking care of it, in a "strong woman" type of way. Maybe it's supposed to be some kind of anthem. I don't know. I haven't investigated it. But the point is- she's saying she's a "six-pack in", going to light up a cigarette and then point a gun at him. And this ok. You dress up a high schooler cute, let her loose on stage, and have her sing this in an uptempo beat, and it's ok. It's more than ok. It's kick-ass YEAH, and everyone votes for her to advance in the competition. No one says a word about the subject matter. And again, *I* am ok with the subject matter. Well, in terms of not wanting to censor. I'll be the first WTF'ing that this is what makes a song and people like it but that's another story.

But I feel like if a boy or even a girl tried to sing some rap song with questionable lyrics it would some kind of scandal. Or it wouldn't even be allowed because it would be in "poor taste". Meanwhile, B and I were watching The Voice and this girl Shelby Z sang a song, with a good beat and hook, called- "Last Name". We were grooving along, never having heard it, when B asked me, "Is she singing about doing the Walk of Shame??" I started laughing, like I do, and said "Gosh Dang It (as Blake Shelton would say), I believe she is!". I mean, the song is CALLED "Last Name" and she's basically saying that she got drunk, went home with some strange guy, slept with him, and DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HIS LAST NAME. But it's wrapped up in a good voice, a good groove, and a hot girl singing it. No one bats an eye. They're clapping maniacally, showering her with compliments, never mentioning she was just singing about what might be called, in that rap music, as, being a ho.

It's like a sociology class I took in college. I remember, in my text book, it dissected song lyrics using "Every Breath You Take" by The Police. The book said that without the music, just reading it, it could or would be seen as dangerous. Stalking. But you put it to good music and it becomes a #1 hit, not something the real police need to be breaking down Sting's door about, worrying he has someone's head in his freezer. The book didn't say that head in the freezer part- that was me. But yeah, I don't know. I don't know why it's ok to sing about smoking, drinking, and anonymous sex like it's cool in one genre but not another. What IS it? Is it the more misogynistic lyrics in rap that is considered objectionable? I just see A LOT of kids at country music concerts, having country stars as idols, and that seems normal and dare I say, wholesome. But if a kid is seen at a Kanye show, or someone put their eight year old kid's favorite singer is Eminem, I'm pretty sure they'd get a huge side-eye. Is it the cursing? That whiskey and cigarettes aren't curse words, and they're not actually SAYING the WORD "sex" in the country song?

I'm not judging anyone. I don't care WHAT your kid listens to. I'm sure I get a daily side-eye for E loving Pitbull and even Mumford & Sons. Because in all honestly, a longtime favorite of his is Little Lion Man. He just sings, "I really MESSED it up this time" because he's good like that. And curse words don't bother me. Save for the one time, last year, when he mortified me by telling a friend's kid that F*#k is a bad word and not to say it ever- he's never said another curse word again. We've taught him the difference between words that are ok to say and words that aren't ok for him to say and luckily he gets it. Not all kids would get it but in this case, I can say my kid is pretty mature.

I'm just confused as to why the country music genre gets a pass on risqué lyrics. Maybe it's talked about. I guess I'll go Google. But if they're showing a little girl singing about whiskey and frisky with a country star, I'm guessing no one seems to have a problem with it. Or at least the mainstream majority. I'm not talking about hardcore extreme religious folk. Just the average American parent. Country music, much to my chagrin and surprise, is overtaking the entire country. I'm pretty sure I've read it's the most popular genre of music in the ENTIRE country. We even got a country music station locally in NY/NJ that people are kvelling over. It never even occurred to me that a country music station would be SO wanted up in these parts. Yet, it's hugely popular. And judging by my local friends Facebook pages, I know A LOT of country fans. People I'd have never guessed would've gone country. But I have an equal number of rapping soccer moms too. I just think those rap loving mama's would be judged for letting their kids listen along when the country loving moms would not.

Interesting, to say the least.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Take Your Top Off

The snow and/or ice, off the top of your car, that is. Nothing pisses me off more than flying ice. Both B and I drive Mini Coopers. So driving behind or on the side of your giant SUV, you probably don't really need, in inclement weather, with snow and ice flying, is like playing real life Asteroids. Yeah, I threw in an Atari reference. I'm old. If you can't reach the top- too bad. You should've thought of that before purchasing your ginormous tank. Let it run 45 min. Climb on it like a spider monkey. I don't care. Just get the hazardous elements off of it before you drive.

And apparently, I'm not the only one that thinks this because it's actually LAW. At least in NJ. You're not just being lazy, you could kill someone. So here's an "official" reminder:

Ice & Snow - Remove It Before You Go
Ice & Snow - Remove It Before You Go
Remember to remove all ice and snow from your vehicle before driving, especially from the hood, windows and roof. It’s the law in New Jersey! Motorists who fail to do so face fines of $25 to $75 for each offense, regardless of whether the ice and snow is dislodged from the vehicle. If flying ice or snow causes property damage or injury to others, motorists face fines of $200 to $1,000 for each offense.
Winter Driving Tips I Links
Drive slow (at or below the posted speed limit) and adjust your speed for the changing road conditions.
Turn on your headlights, using low beams when traveling in snow.
Increase your following distance. In winter weather, travel at least eight to 10 seconds behind the car in front of you.
Give snowplows plenty of room to work. Don't tailgate and try not to pass. If you must pass, take extreme caution in doing so. Remember, a snowplow operator's field of vision is restricted. You may see him, but they don't always see you.
If you skid, don't brake or accelerate. Remove your foot from the gas, and gently steer your car in the direction of the skid (the direction the rear of your vehicle is sliding.) When your car starts heading in the desired direction, carefully straighten the wheel.
Slow down before exiting the highway. Exit ramps often have icy patches, sharp curves and stalled or stopped vehicles.
Have a personal safety kit easily accessible in your vehicle that includes: an ice scraper/brush; shovel; jumper cables or battery starter; blanket; sand, salt or kitty litter for traction; lock de-icer; flashlight and new batteries; extra windshield wiper fluid; safety flares/warning device; cell phone with spare battery; water and non-perishable food (i.e., granola or protein bars); and paper towels or a cloth.
If your vehicle does become disabled, pull off the road as far as possible and turn on your emergency flashers. Remain with your vehicle until help arrives. If you can't get your vehicle off the road and are uncertain about your safety, do not stay in your vehicle or stand behind it. Proceed carefully to a safe location away from traffic.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Giving Back

I copied this from Volunteers of Bergen County, Inc. It's a great way to give back in the spirit of the season.

Dear Friends:

The deadline to adopt a family or individual through our All Wrapped Up Holiday Giving Program is fast approaching and we still need your help.  
We started with more than 3,500 people -- individuals and families -- who are depending on us for holiday cheer this year.  We've matched most of our clients with over 625 generous donors, but the wishes of over 500 remain unfulfilled.   
We have many children, senior citizens and adults living with disabilities still needing to be "adopted" with holiday season.  
Help us help those who have asked for help!  Just click below to adopt a family, or heart to heart.  If you have already participated, please forward this email to a friend, post it on your Facebook page or tweet it to your followers on Twitter. 
Let's all pitch and show that the spirit of generosity and giving are alive and well in Bergen County.
Heart To Heart
AWU Girl
Want to focus on just one person?  You can specify a child, teenager, adult, senior or a person who with disabilities.
AWU Family
Families range in size from two people to large, extended families. We will provide you with their specific gift requests.
Many individuals and families need assistance with food, and many parents would cherish the opportunity to purchase gifts for their children.  Gift cards will be distributed to remaining clients and cash contributions will be used to purchase gift cards.

To sign up and indicate your preference, please visit our All Wrapped Up Page.  For more information, call Debbie Emery at 201-489-9454 ext. 118.

*All families and individuals have been referred to All Wrapped Up by local non-profit and government agencies; needs and requests have been carefully screened.
Volunteer Center of Bergen County

This is the donation page to adopt an individual or family for the holidays.

All Wrapped Up Holiday Giving Program
Information for Donors

Dear Friends:

The holiday season can be a joyous time for many people. However, for those living with illness, poverty or other hardships the holidays can be difficult.

How can you help? You can provide holiday cheer to
those in need through the 2013 All Wrapped Up Holiday Giving Program, including:

Adopt-a-Family: Families range in size from two people to large, extended families. If you adopt a family, we suggest that you purchase a supermarket gift certificate, an article of clothing for each member of the family and a toy or toys for the children. You should plan to spend approximately $50 per family member (but please note that this is only a guideline to help you plan - many donors spend far more and some do not spend as much.)

Heart to Heart: If your budget is small or you would like to concentrate your efforts on just one person, you have the option of "adopting" an individual through our Heart-to-Heart program. You may specify a child, adult, senior citizen or disabled individual. Requests for these individuals include food, clothing and gifts. Plan to spend approximately $50 for each individual that you "adopt."

Gift Card Donations: Many of the AWU recipients need assistance with food as well as gifts. We also do not always match all of the clients with a donor.  Individuals or families left at the end of the program will receive a gift card for the holidays.  Shoprite, Target, and Pathmark gift cards are needed.

Cash Contribution: Many individuals and families need assistance with food and utility bills, and many parents would cherish the opportunity to purchase gifts for their children themselves. Your cash contribution will be used to purchase gift certificates or pay utility bills.

All families and individuals in the program have been referred to us by local non-profit and government agencies that have carefully screened them and confirmed the accuracy of their needs and requests.

If you wish to help either adopt a family or individual fill out our online form:

Individuals click here
Groups or Companies click here

Once you have finished entering all of the information, click the "Submit Form" button on the bottom of the form. If you prefer, you can also print out the form and submit by fax or mail (see address and fax below). PLEASE SUBMIT INFORMATION BY ONE METHOD ONLY TO AVOID DUPLICATION.

Upon receipt of your form, we will contact you* by email with names and age of the individual or family members; a brief description of their circumstances; a wish list and/or gift ideas; and the name, address, phone and contact name at the referring agency. Upon receipt of the information, you should IMMEDIATELY contact the person at the referring agency to ask questions about the gift requests and to make arrangements to deliver the gifts to the agency.

NEW in 2013
Gifts may be placed in a gift bag with a card and the family name on it.  Please do not put your address or other personal information on anything given to your match.  Agency reps will have your information for Thank You letters.

If you have questions about the All Wrapped Up program, please don't hesitate to contact me at 201-489-9454 x118 or

Best wishes for a wonderful holiday season.

Debbie Emery, Director
Community Volunteer Services

*Our goal is to respond to donors within 72 hours of receiving their sign-up form. If you have not received an email from us after one week, please call the office to confirm that we have received your form.