Saturday, January 25, 2014


I'm not one of those sentimental people...or sentimental moms. I strongly dislike those Facebook cliché memes about children that start something like, "I loved you before I met you..." blah blah.

While I'm not particularly sentimental, I am thankful for birthing a great kid. And he's FIVE today. I'd say I don't know where the time went...but I do. I remember his birth in great detail. I know the idea is that moms forget what giving birth was like- that's HOW they're able to even consider having another. But since I was one and done from the start, I think I burned the whole birth thing into my memory forever. What I also remember vividly is that I was not water broke unexpectedly on my "get it all in" last hurrah weekend. I was going to see The Wrestler. Ethan had other plans. In retrospect, it was fine that he was ready to make his way into being an outside baby (vs inside baby), because The Wrestler was a sucky movie. Or at least more of a movie you catch on cable instead of paying to see it in the movies most likely next to someone texting.

I remember a few weeks before he was born thinking I killed my baby with fresh mozzarella cheese. We went to a local Italian place that makes their own cheese. But I didn't know that. The waiter came over after and asked how we liked their homemade fresh mozzarella. What?! I didn't think I felt baby movement  after that at all so I spent the rest of the night wondering how I was going to tell my husband I killed our baby because I HAD to have cheese. Then he was born and being all cocky about breastfeeding, thinking E & I were doing it like champs, only to find out nothing was coming out. He was starving. He rapidly lost weight and looked like a Shar Pei and George Burns hybrid. Kicking out the baby nurse in under twenty four hours. Hey- I just wanted to relax & watch American Idol. It's weird to have a strange woman in the house trying to help you shove your boob in your baby's mouth. Especially when this particular lady made it clear she didn't really even want to be there. The three hour blocks of sleep, the exploding bottle warmer, and the Angel Care monitor giving me a heart attack with it's "BABY ISN'T BREATHING" alarm. Having him lay on the Brest Friend while I ate and typed over his head. Only to have to clean crumbs out of his hair later.

We did Stroller Strides, Music for Aardvarks, Little Gym- you name it. Any kid activity, I was there. Swim lessons where my husband had to change E in a locker room teeming with old men's leftover ball powder on the floor. Play groups, play dates and mall trips- Oh my! Starting camp at two years old before starting school. Wondering how he was going to do being away from me. Walking him into preschool in the 2s class, thinking he looked so little next to those in the 4s class going into Kindergarten. Loving Morah Renee's 3s class where his growing maturity really blossomed. Transitioning to a "big kid" camp where he had to take a bus for the first time. Him running on that bus, not even asking where he was going, without looking back. We were so proud of his massive independent streak.

Ballet recitals, improvisation class, auditions, and now taekwondo. He's now sewing on his own sewing machine, that HE asked for. Made two cool superhero pillowcases already! Endless activity and motion. His comedic timing is spot on and there's nothing he loves more than making people laugh. Knows "that Howard Stern man" and loves when Howard imitates his mother. (Side-eye me all you want about Stern- when E's on Jeopardy one day, he'll know ALL the pop culture questions.). He thinks he was born in General Hospital and can tell you what's going on with Robin, Patrick and Sabrina. He can out-sing any adult I know on most pop music, counting Pitbull, Ke$ha, Passenger, Jason Mraz, Mumford & Sons, Katy Perry, John Mayer, and Lada Gaga as favorites. He wants to be the next Harry Potter and will speak to you in a British accent if you ask. He's perfected Seinfeld quotes and likes running more than Forest Gump. He's a style diva and people always tell him he looks like the coolest kid in the room. He obsessed about wanting his ears pierced like the male counselors at camp, his hair is always "done" and he can sport nail polish and rings like a rockstar. He's been in every dressing room with me in Bergen county and never complains. Loves to give his opinions on clothes and handbags. Anything shiny and colorful works for him.

Loves anything creative, draws and builds things for hours, and making up crazy stories is an everyday occurrence. He's fair to the point we call him "Even Steven". Always smiling, go-with-the-flow, super social, he thinks life is his party and wants everyone around to join in the fun. Favorite things are his friends, his "brothers"- Sam & Joe, whipped cream with chocolate chips in it, youtube videos, movies, a good frenzy, playing in the ocean, belting out his tunes, As Seen On Tv products, and us.

He's five.

Happy birthday E-Man! We love you!

*I can't believe I'm someone's parent*

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