Saturday, October 8, 2011

Not-so-guilty pleasure

I feel like I don't even want to share this because I'm so in love with this place and while I want them to stay in business, I don't want them to get so busy that I won't be able to get in there when I need it. But, I feel that I need to tell everyone because if they do go out of business I'll be so sad I'll have to take to the bed for days.

What am I talking about? Well, it's a strange little place. For massage. Yes, for massage. It's not a spa. It's not a *wink, wink* massage place. It's a walk-in, lay on a table with your clothes off (although is a little sign in each room that specifically tells you to keep your underwear ON), but get 20 minutes to 60 minutes massage place.

I used to work at Spa Finder. I've been to pretty much every place in the area for a massage. But, in a nice "spa" environment, you have to make an appointment, it's a whole scene with robes and plastic flip flops, a waiting room with cascading water, apples in a bowl, hot tea and...needing a babysitter for like three hours for a one hour massage. Three hours? Yeah, by the time I drive there, do the whole change into the robe thing, sit and wait for my therapist, etc. It's a major time suck that I don't have. I don't have a lot of help with my son, only just found a sitter that isn't a friend or family, and free time comes in unscheduled moments here and there.

My friend Tara sent me a message on Facebook like 6 months ago and asked me if I ever went to "The Healthy Way" in Glen Rock. I said no and asked her what the hell it was. She told me massage. I had no idea where or what she was talking about. I was intrigued.

I NEED massage. Not in the regular, "ooh, I'd love a massage" kind of way. In the way that I've had debilitating tension headaches since I was a child. Under eight years old. I don't remember exactly when it started but it's been my whole life. No doctor could give me anything concrete to stop them. I'd been to biofeedback, chiropractors, neurologists, etc. I've taken OTC pain meds, narcotics, herbal supplements, you name it. The only thing that works is DEEP massage or percocet. And even the percocet only helps for a short time. If it's bad enough, when that wears off, it's excruciating. BUT, massage TOTALLY helps. Any guy, including my husband has gotten sick of the massaging but quick. I need to be paying for my massage. It gets expensive and I don't have the money to be paying "spa" prices.

Yes, I'm aware there is also Massage Envy now on every corner too. But, to me, it's a pain. It isn't a true "walk-in" place because even though they take walk-ins, they rarely have an opening right on the spot. Also, it's a gimmick. I have gift cards there but who knows if I'll ever use them. I did try them out, and it was fine. But I didn't know if I could commit to the one massage a month because of lack of child care and I just didn't want to commit to a year of electronic fund transfer because who knows what they year would be like financially?? That's a big commitment in these economic times. If you don't commit that first time you go, you have to pay a membership fee if you decide to do it. I don't want to pay that fee. Then if you aren't a member, the massage cost is double. In my opinion, they just don't make it easy. Having to decide on the spot if I want to commit for a year is too much pressure for me. And knowing I'm paying double if I don't want to be a member just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Enter- The Healthy Way- http://www.healthywaymassage.com/index.html.  The one closest to me is actually considered Fair Lawn, not Glen Rock. But, it's super close. It seems bizarre- it's next to some kind of Quickie Mart where you can buy Playboy, milk and lottery tickets.  It's small and each "room" is really just a small cubicle separated by a removable partition. You can hear the person in the next cubicle, which, on second thought, is kind of nice because you know there really is no funny business going on in there. I mean, you'd totally hear it and be grossed out. Well, I would be.... Anyway, there is a price list in every room and the most amazing thing- the MORE time you get, the LESS expensive it is. ANYWHERE I've gotten those chair massages- in the malls, in my nail salon- ANYWHERE, the amount they charge is almost ALWAYS more than the minutes they give.  For instance- $12 for 10 minutes, $24 for 20 minutes, and so on. Here, it's $20 for 20, $30 for 30, $40 for 45 and $50 for 60 minutes! It's amazing. And you're not in a chair- you're actually lying on a table and you take off your clothes. You're not hostage to getting a crappy massage because you happened to wear a sweater that day and you're on display at a mall kiosk. It's a "real" massage, with oil, whether you pick twenty minutes or sixty.

The one con- no English. Trying to explain that I don't want my legs touched because I'm ticklish cut into precious time and no one understood me anyway. I've just figured out that I need to just keep my pants on and they get it. Or I learned to pull up Google Translate in Chinese with the phrases I want them to be able to understand.

I guess another con can be that you are in very close quarters with the person getting massaged in the next cubicle. But, for me, I don't care.

It's totally no-frills. If you're looking for a whole experience, this isn't the place for you.  If you're looking for a really good quickie, you're totally in luck. I don't need a waterfall and tiny muffins. I need to be able to just show up when there's someone around to watch my kid, when I have a killer headache, and get in & out.

So, I highly recommend. Apparently they're popping up all over the place, so look out for a Healthy Way by you! http://www.healthywaymassage.com/location.html

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