Deathiversary

I didn't know what to title this but "Deathiversary" is as simple as it gets. I haven't really felt like writing for a week or so because I didn't know how to write frivolously without addressing other feelings as well. Today, October 2, marks the two year anniversary of my mom suddenly passing away. Her death was totally out of the blue, a random, unnecessary, shitty-awful occurrence, that totally changed my life. I remember the day like yesterday but I try not to wallow in it. It feels weird to just put it out there on Facebook so I'm putting here where I can try to articulate my thoughts better than in a status update.

I'm not sure what people are supposed to do on a deathiversary. I won't go to the cemetery. I haven't been there since the day she was put in her slot there in the wall. I don't feel like she's there. She was cremated against my wishes (she had nothing written, so it was a decision made by others). I don't feel she's "there". It's certainly not a place she'd choose to hang out, even if cremation was her choice, which I'm told it was. I got some of "her" in a vial, which as I'm typing, sounds pretty gross. I actually didn't know what to do with it. My mom put her sister's ashes in her curio cabinet. B and I bought a glass box from Tiffany, and put it in our curio cabinet because, like I said, what exactly do you do with that? Put it in an urn a kid could knock over? That Jinxy (Meet the Parents) could piss on?

So, we're not cemetery people. Last year was really hard, but I feel like my mom would've wanted us to do something fun with Ethan. We got tickets to Yo Gabba Gabba Live that weekend. We had a nice day. I decided from then on, we'd just keep busy and try to do something really fun. I kept to tradition. B wasn't exactly thrilled to see the day totally jam-packed but he wasn't about to argue either. On deck was tennis class for E, apple picking, nap, audition for E, then B even had a work meeting scheduled.

If there is an afterlife, my mom must have been pulling for us today. Rain was on the menu according to Jeff Smith (ABC 7) last night. We woke up to blue skies and cool, crisp air. Tennis went quickly and we were on the road to Warwick, NY. Thanks to my friend Jenn's recommendation, we go to Pennings Orchard- http://www.penningsorchard.com/, which is really nice. You can park right next to the trees, so there is no hay ride to have to deal with. We used to go to Demarest Farms- http://www.demarestfarms.com/, forever, but the crowds on the weekend are insufferable. The wait for the hay ride to get up and back to the trees is usually around 3045 minutes! Unfortunately, today, it was Applefest up in the Warwick area and the traffic was atrocious. It took us like an hour and fifteen minutes.

At Pennings, it was too wet to park up by the apples and they were busing people up and back. No way we were waiting on a bus. So, we just bought some apples, some AWESOME doughnuts, went to the petting zoo, and were on our way home. I didn't mind because we still got some good pictures and we didn't have to do any of the work. No mud on our feet, or wet pants. We found a different way back and were home in forty-five minutes. Fabulous. Just in time for a nap...for all of us.

Matthew Settle (Rufus, Gossip Girl)

E and I napped and B tried but he's just not a napper. He went in the basement and did work. We got up at 4p, and ran out of the house to make E's audition in the Times Square area by 5p. We got into the city, with NO traffic, and had 15 minutes to spare. Walked into the audition, there were no other children there, breezed in and out, and were on our way. I think E did okay because we left him in there alone and he didn't even care. The guy said I'd know by tonight The auditions only ended at 8p, so we'll hold some hope he might've gotten the part.

After the audition we decided to eat at PAX- https://www.paxfood.com/, my favorite "Fast Food" type of place ever. I always get the chicken parm "Pressata".  But, it started to rain as soon as we walked out of the audition building. We got in one of those bike/rickshaw things and were 10 blocks in about 5 minutes. It was great. E was so excited to be in there. It cost $30 but to get there quick, dry, and easier than hailing a cab was totally worth it. When we were done eating, we got to the best portion of the day- A STAR run-in!

As we were walking across the street, I look at this guy. I first thing, wow, he's hot. Then I sputter out to B, was that RUFUS??  Rufus, Matthew Settle- http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0786136/, from Gossip Girl. That's who it was. I have NO shame, and you only live once, so of course, I ran across Broadway and chased him down. I said, "Excuse me, are you on Gossip Girl???". Poor Mr. Settle. He's in a baseball hat, sweats, listening to his music, and I accost him on the street. He couldn't have been nicer. He said, "Yes" and smiled. I told him we're huge fans and asked if we could take a picture. He happily obliged. I was in heaven. Coincidentally, Rita (my mom), was a HUGE Gossip Girl fan. One time I came home while she was watching E and she had Gossip Girl on the tv, on the highest decibel. She would have me keep them on my dvr as to not take up more space on hers, come over Tuesdays, and watch it on mine. Of course, I was just happy to have a star sighting/meeting, since in all the time I've lived right over the bridge, he was my first star-on-the-street-meet-and-greet. B was thinking, as he's taking our photo, that I was replacing him and that was the picture of our new family. Just for the record, that was NOT on my mind.

We just got home a little while ago, and I wanted to get it all out here before I try to bathe and put E to bed. I decided I'm not going to get all weepy and deep about death, how life is short, blah blah blah. I'll just say that the D-K's have decided, the best way to honor Rita is to live life and do the fun things she'd love to do with us, or hear about later. One hundred percent positive, my mom would have been the first I would've called to tell about my Rufus run-in and she would've probably been more excited than me. She would've told me how she never recognizes anyone in person and been so proud that I spotted him AND ran after him. I know she's smiling and so am I at the end of what could have been a really sucky day. I miss her terribly but I hope, wherever she is, she's somehow able to enjoy our fun too.

Now let's hope I go check my email to find out E got that part!