My friend Jenny......

Or our friend. Jenny Craig, that is. I read Valerie Bertinelli's book- Losing it: Gaining My Life Back One Pound at a Time back in January of 2008. I LOVED it. I really liked her candor and she made Jenny Craig sound so easy and manageable. http://www.amazon.com/Losing-Gaining-Life-Back-Pound/dp/1416568182

So, I found myself feeling like I NEEDED to try it. Valerie had a book signing at Bookends in Ridgewood in February 2008 and I was in line with the rest of the Barbara Cooper fans. I was inspired and signed up the next day. Of course B did it with me...because that's just what we do. I knew I was going to try to get pregnant in the next few months so I figured it couldn't hurt to lose some weight prior so that I wouldn't feel like a house while I was pregnant.

Let me preface the rest of "our" journey with some facts. No, I'm not obese, but I've never had a healthy relationship with food. I'm either rigidly doing some diet or justifying eating a daily cupcake and 2 lbs of jelly beans a week. Yes, I said "a week", and if you ask the friendly lady who owns the Candy Store in Garden State Plaza, and she understands what you're asking, she'll corroborate that statement. Anyway, I've been a size 2 and a size 12. Before anyone says, "oh, boo hoo, I'd be happy to be a size 12! What an asshole.", understand it's not about the number- it's not even about the number on the scale. It's about how I feel in my skin and in my clothes. EVERYONE, whether they want to admit it or not, KNOWS what is their "happy weight". Not only do I know my happy weight, I know my "too skinny I look like a bobblehead weight" and my "oh my god, no amount of Barbizon trick posing is going to make that arm not look like a medieval turkey leg weight". I just want to be able to fit in my own clothes comfortably without having to get bigger ones. I'm not weight-greedy at this point.

When I was 25, after a tumultuous life altering break-up, I went to "thin enough to rock pleather pants and sequin bandeau top at D'Jais" weight of 125. By the way, that's what most men think all women should weigh. I think I read that in Maxim once. Yeah, well that was 25, many moons and platform shoes ago and completely unobtainable ever again. I think I was eating a piece of turkey roll on a half a piece of bread and calling it a day. On my wedding day, I weighed 138 and that was rough to maintain. That's my "I'll look good, but a jelly bean would show in my gullet like a snake eating a mouse weight". I didn't look sick- I looked good. But, I could never enjoy another cupcake at that weight. I might as well kill myself then.

I think when B and I went on Jenny in 2008 I was probably around 160. That's my "lazy but still watching somewhat weight". Oh, I'm 5'7 by the way. Just in case you're following along and comparing. As an aside- that's SO what I do when I read Shape or one of those magazines where they chronicle people's weight loss. I'm always so bummed when someone is 5'7, weigh like 130 and make it sound effortless. I'd have to spend my life chained to a treadmill. And not mine where I only go as fast as I can still hear the TV. Whatever- I went off on a tangent. So, we went on and I think B and I weighed about the same. It's always awesome when you weigh as much as your husband. He's about 5'8 if you're interested in that too.

We did Jenny for like four months. Of course B ended up losing so much weight they told him if he didn't stop losing he wouldn't be allowed to buy anymore food. Jenny's wet dream. For me, it was good- I never got to my goal of 138-140 but I made it to like 142 and I was ok with that. I also found out I was pregnant in May 2008. So, I did my last week of food when I found out and that was that. I will say, I was happy I had lost so much before I got pregnant but it was HARD to get used to the mindset of seeing the scale go higher with the baby in there. I was so used to weekly weigh-ins expecting/hoping the numbers went DOWN.

I gained 40-42 lbs with my pregnancy. So, I think I gave birth at around 180. I was horrified to be honest, but I tried not to think about it. I also thought I'd give birth and like a basketball coming out, I thought my stomach would just go down. It did not. But, I lost 20 lbs rather quickly and I was back at that 160 mark. I went back to my old friend Jenny. This time, it was a lot harder. I was doing it alone. B didn't feel like doing it again. I was also a new mom with what felt like a lot of new stress and while I wasn't particularly "stress eating", I just wasn't as rigid with the program. I didn't buy their breakfasts- I ate my own cereal. I didn't buy their snacks, I had my own. I think doing that, while saving money, allowed me a different mindset. Just more lax about it. I could've done that down the road after some success but not right away. I need that whip cracked, so to speak. So, it took me a long time to get down to around 145. I think that's around what I was when E was between 7-8 months old. Then my mom dropped dead. I'm not going to go into the whole dead mom thing here because this is about Jenny. I'll just say, due to circumstances, I lost another five pounds.

I was actually able to maintain that for like a year! THEN, last fall, for Hanukkah, B bought me that damn candy dispenser from Brookstone, that I love with every fiber of my being. For my jelly beans. And boy did it get use. That was the start of my downfall. Then I found Cupcakes by Carousel. Next, around June of this year, I was in Victoria's Secret when I found the "Boyfriend Pant". These are literally the most dangerous and damaging things to hit the market. Well, for my ass. You put these on and you instantly have a craving for ice cream, a soft blanket, and Lifetime Television. I actually don't even eat ice cream but in those pants, anything is possible. I finally learned the urban legend that you grow to fit your pants is not really urban legend. It's absofuckinglutely, 100% true. Of course, being me, I bought five pair over the next month or so and started wearing them almost daily. They're heaven with brushed cotton insides and giant pockets. I think one of them even says PINK on the behind. I wasn't even choosy with them. One pair is neon pink. I could direct planes wearing them.

I knew, but was ignoring, that when I washed the pants, they were feeling a little tighter and tighter. I blamed the dryer. Then I took E to tennis class and my pants split. That was kind of my wake up call when I couldn't make eye contact with anyone as I left the building with him since I looked like I was channeling old school/80's Joe Elliot. And not in a nostalgic, hot kind of way. But, really, all my jeans were starting to feel tight, I didn't like any pictures of me (which those that know me would say was a tip off), and I just didn't feel good getting dressed.

I'm not sure how we came to the decision to go back on Jenny together this time. B was probably complaining about the dinners I was giving him (cold salads from the Kings deli counter). He tells me he likes something so I buy it. Enough for every day. I just forget not everyone can eat the same thing every night like I can. He said we should just do Jenny, it's easier, it's quick, and we'll both look good by spring. He has maybe 5 lbs to lose, but I appreciate the Jenny companionship. And not having to deal with his dinners.

We went back to the center this past Wednesday evening. I was looking forward to their no-brainer way of eating. I did a pre-weigh in of my own, naked, at home, so I wasn't shocked when I stood on the scale there. 160. Awesome. I'd gained like 12-15 lbs in five months. I decided "for my file" that my "happy weight" is 140-145. Anywhere in there, I'm good. All my clothes will fit, I look nice, and I feel good. It's manageable to where I can still have cupcakes here and there and I'm sure I can have a few jelly beans if the mood strikes. I just can't eat 2 lbs of them a week.

They are running a special right now- 4 weeks for $15. That's the lowest I've seen it, I think. I think I signed my life away this time. I was paying the "deal" memberships for almost 4 months and I spent about 1/3 of what I would've spent if I just bought the longer deal to begin with. For me, it's worth it. I'm never going to lose as fast as B and he's going to get bored of it much sooner than I would.

Wednesday night both B and I were mentally hungry. Just knowing we were starting is an emotional thing as well as physical. Thursday, we were starving. Not necessarily because we weren't eating enough- we just weren't used to it again. We need to be reigned in like every six months. By Friday, we were both busy, didn't get to eat much until later in the day so it was getting easier. Saturday I wasn't really hungry and Sunday neither. Our bodies are getting used to the lesser amount of calories and it's working. I'm on 1200 calories and B is on 1500. I did a mid-week weigh in at home and I'm already down to 157 lbs. I'm finding it easier not to eat the "bad" stuff or off E's plate.

We're not really doing much this month even though it's the holidays so I'm not concerned how the holidays are going to affect our staying on track. If we go to the movies on Christmas like the rest of the Jews, and like we did last year, I'll cheat with a small bag of heavily buttered popcorn. Because I'm not going to deny myself everything I love for the rest of my life. The whole idea of any diet anyway is to be able to work in your real life.

And for those interested in the actual food...It's GOOD. *I* happen to really like it. People have asked, "well isn't it just like getting a Lean Cuisine?". I don't know. Maybe it is. But, it's more a mindset. You feel like you're in control with the Jenny meals. I've also heard on the news that the frozen dinners in the supermarket have been tested and are often 20% higher in calories than they say on the box. I don't want to get caught in that game- eating that only to not lose and then be hard on myself not knowing where I went wrong. The Classico Chicken Parmesean, the meatloaf and potatoes, and the mac &cheese, are my favorite dinners. The Sunshine Sandwich and the blueberry pancakes /sausage are my favorite breakfasts. My favorite lunches are the stuffed chicken sandwich and the meatball stuffed sandwich. There are other meals I like but my point is, the food isn't total shit. Or maybe it is if you're a foodie, but I'm not. I don't know the difference between homemade lasagna and Jenny's aside from the size of the portions! I've now also eaten way more jello than I've ever eaten in my life. It's "free" food so you can have as many as you like. We've "liked" it a lot.

So, that's my Jenny story. If you need to lose weight and think you can stick to frozen meals for awhile, it's the easiest thing you'll ever do once you get past the first few days. We go to the one in Paramus, on Rt 4 next to BUCU, Destination Maternity, Houlihans, etc. They're nice, quick, and really work with you on your goals if you need them. I highly recommend it! Hopefully I'll make it to that 145 in no time....

http://paramus.patch.com/listings/jenny-craig-weight-loss-center-86