Every year, around this time, I write my Thank You Wekeela blog post. As you know, I don't really write much anymore- who has the time? However, I do like to write this one because it's so important to me. To all of us- B and E, and most especially E.
I think that every summer I think to myself, wow, do kids need camp more than ever. The thing is, I don't think in any other summer I was wrong, but I realized something this time, as E is on the cusp of starting eighth grade, that while it was great for him at ten, eleven and twelve, it was imperative at thirteen. You don't realize how much they need it until they're too old to hang with you, but too young to be fully on their own. When you know you don't want them roaming around town all evening in the dark, but they don't actually need to BE anywhere the next day either. They're just aimless and schedule-less and just ripe to get into shenanigans.
At ten it was new and fresh, and cooler than day camp. It gave him that taste of freedom and independence so often missing in kids that age these days because of parental helicoptering and micromanaging. While it was awesome for him, it was just as much for me. That mental recharge that you get when you don't care if there are any waffles in the house or if someone else's laundry is done, is EVERYTHING. At eleven, it was the first Covid summer after being locked up in the house for months. We ALL needed camp. I barely remember that summer. Last summer, at twelve, it was E's last summer in "kid camp" at his camp so it was very similar to his first summer. He was still coming out of a weird hybrid first year of middle school and he needed the escape.
At thirteen, this summer, it was a transition for him to Teen Camp and a sigh of relief for both him and me. Middle school is no joke. He kept saying before he left, "I can't wait to go to camp where there aren't assholes". Of course, there are always going to be assholes, but he meant it in the way that it isn't the same as school. He and his friends aren't "misfits" at camp. At camp, for whatever reason, he doesn't feel "less than" the way he does at school when he's being mocked by who he perceives as "popular" for being a musician versus a team athlete. At camp, he's appreciated for his music and people consider him talented. At camp, you can be whoever you want to be and that's okay.
He's also too old now to really supervise him all day and evening. He has always had a lot of personal freedom around our town. Due to being in middle school, he's made some new friends. Friends whom I don't know their parents or their stories. When he has free time at home, he's out with old friends and new, and even though I can track where he is physically, I don't know the nitty gritty of what he's doing. As a parent, that's a nightmare. I let him go, because that's what you have to do. You teach and talk at home, and then you have to set them free. It's still nerve-wracking though, when he's just out and about, it's getting dark and I have to figure out where he is, who he's with and what he's doing.
He left for Wekeela on June twenty-sixth this summer, two days after school ended here. No time for messing around. Well, we both left, because I chaperoned the younger kid bus. I actually really like doing the chaperone thing, coming up there for a couple of days, because I get a peek into his camp world but then I go home and leave him to his life there. I got to meet his counselors and I know a decent amount of the kids, just from this being his fourth summer and having chaperoned previously. I got to joke with his Cabin Leader about the fact that somehow the thirteen year old boys and thirteen year old girls had cabins right next to each other this summer. He told me he was going to sleep by the door. Good luck Sam, good luck.
I stayed from Saturday to Monday morning, when I flew home. In that short time, I got to see how my kid was so happy to be there, living his best life, but is fully supervised, no electronics, having face to face conversations, resolving conflicts, living with people of all different backgrounds, and it had zero to do with me. He was learning life skills, managing relationships, and figuring himself out in an environment that is safe, nurturing and most of all- fun.
However, I don't think a parent can fully realize how important camp is at this age until they come home. E came home and the three of us did the whole download about his time at camp. We were in awe and so proud of the personal growth he came away with. It isn't just that though. When he comes home, now it's a lot of free time before school starts. He almost has a second summer. He came home August ninth and doesn't start school until September eighth. He has a month of roaming around and having to find productive things to do.
It's a lot of just hanging out with friends, and while everyone needs downtime, it's back to pizza all day every day, if he eats at all. It's a lot of boredom and stupidity. This morning, I happen to have come upon a video of him and some friends on another friend's Instagram story of them, in a parking lot, putting Mentos in a full Coke bottle, shaking it up and throwing it to see it explode. Is it anything bad? No. It's just dumb. There are way better uses of his time. Back in the day, I guess I wouldn't have even known that's what he was doing. Now, everything goes on social media. So there he is, in all his glory, being Jackass.
Of course, everything is a teaching moment and we had to talk to him about how someone is always filming. He may not have access to social media, but most of the kids do, and they post incessantly. He needs to be aware of what he's doing, where, and is someone filming. Good conversation, but having him here is like a hose with a thousand little leaks. You plug one, another one immediately comes up.
I would give anything to have him back on Little Bear Pond, doing Rituals, coming up with skits, white water rafting, playing cards, and doing whatever he does there that makes him count the days until he goes back. I highly suspect, so would he.
When E comes back from Wekeela every summer, he's a better person. It's not just "sending a kid to camp" or "getting rid of him". They aren't just having them play tennis or participating in lip sync battles. The emphasis is on the whole mind, body, spirit and the connections that are part of being in this special camp community. I can't even speak to it myself because I wasn't a camper and haven't spent enough time there for specifics. I can tell by how E is when he gets home. I can tell by the videos I see, the emails I get from both E and the camp, and I can see it in the extraordinary retention of campers and staff.
All I can say is that I feel for kids and parents who don't, won't or can't experience the magic of sleepaway camp, the way E has experienced it. E has gained so much positive from being there that I'll never be able to thank them enough for all they've given him. In this age of constant bombardment of electronics and social media, this returns him to a simpler life, a face to face life, a somewhat retro life, that unfortunately not everyone gets to experience.
B and I watch Meatballs every summer when E leaves. The camp owners hate that we compare Wekeela in any way to Camp North Star in the movie, but for us, it's a positive. It's the relationships, the caring, the inside jokes, the heart, the way they all loved being there. The way they were all engaged because of the lack of real world distraction of likes and follows. Even if it subconscious, Wekeela has instilled in these kids the realization that they don't always need the online validation to know their worth. That, to me, is priceless.
Thank you again Wekeela Family. It was another great summer. Hopefully, we'll have visiting day next summer and we can thank you in person.
Above: Nighttime Activity
Above: Singing at Campfire, see this and other songs @ethankulemusic
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