Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Another Maine Event

I didn't realize I hadn't written since May. Well, I knew it had been a long time, but I didn't really know how long. I wouldn't say I'm over it, but I just don't have the time or urge to do a lot of things I used to do. I used to love magazines. Now I have a stack sitting, at least a year's worth, that I think I'll get to, but know I really won't. I don't know what's going on in most pop culture, true crime, etc. I'm thinking I'm better off for not knowing a lot of what's going on in the world these days anyway.

However, I do know what's going on in my real life. One of those things, the biggest thing actually, is that E went to sleepaway camp, Camp Wekeela, in Maine for seven weeks. He left June twenty-second.

I'll tell you this first- as a parent of kid leaving for camp, for that long, you make all these grand plans in your head of menial, boring household tasks you're going to get done. Yeah, that doesn't happen. Maybe it happens for some people, but it certainly has NOT happened over at the D-K house. Granted, we had a water heater explode a mere week prior to E's departure, so our household tasks are to be more involved than the average person with no ripped apart basement. I thought I'd organize a lot of stuff and B probably thought he'd do stuff on the outside. Nope. I've done a lot of meeting my friend A at the town pool and walking with B. B joined a gym that he's actually been in attendance.

Back to camp. E was a mature and confident kid to begin with. After seeing him this past weekend at visiting day, I can tell he's gained even more maturity, confidence, and independence. Apparently, he's like a rockstar there. Not just with his music- although he did get up in front of like 500 people or more there his second night and play his guitar and sang original songs. But everyone knows him. People that don't even have direct daily contact with him. Now, that's a testament to the camp, that they really make sure to get to know each and every kid, but also that's E's personality. To make himself known. 

B didn't think he was going to write. He has written a decent amount. I have the ability to write to him via email. The email goes to the office. They print it out, put it with the bunk mail with a blank piece of paper to write back. If he writes back, they scan it and email it to me (only one email address allowed because I imagine this is an arduous task with much paper and scanning). This is how I've kept in touch with him. He likes me to write daily and he answers about 50% of the time. His letters have been pretty comprehensive and thoughtful. I've really been enjoying this exercise in letter exchange with him. I'm fairly certain most people don't send much in the way of snail mail letters so this is a lost art he's learning to use. Like talking on the telephone versus texting.

E is big on rituals, which camp has plenty of, on a daily basis. Things they do, chants, songs, gatherings. I will bet that he will say those rituals were some of his favorite things he'll remember from his first year at sleepaway camp. We got to see some of those rituals in action while we were there, which was pretty cool.

I also want to talk a little about the people we came in contact with. When you're sending a kid to sleepaway camp these days, you know you're dealing with a hefty bill. There's a real worry about the caliber of people you're sending your kid with.  I have always had certain preconceived notions about the kind of kids he'd be with if he went to sleepaway camp- extreme wealth and spoiled kids. I knew after visiting last year, it didn't see like kids were wearing wealth on their literal sleeves, but that was a weekend and you never know.

Sending him to Maine instead of just outside the NYC metro area, I knew I was taking some of that out of the equation. But I didn't know how much. I knew there would be no bunk gifts, tipping of staff, or food allowed, so I was confident it wouldn't be like some of horror stories I'd heard previously, but I have never experienced a visiting day at sleepaway as a kid, counselor, or parent, so I really had no idea what I was in for in any capacity.

This was exactly as I was told it would be. No flaunting of wealth. No gifting. I actually didn't even notice any fancy cars. I'm sure there were some "higher end", but certainly no Rolls Royce or Bentley. None of the parents even looked affected, as I've seen even at the local day camp E attended prior to coming to Wekeela. Everyone looked down to earth and dressed camp appropriate.

The camp is rustic. It looks exactly what camp should look like. Feel like. It looks like kids have fun and get dirty. Where campfires are made and s'mores eaten. The counselors are warm and you could tell they have made strong bonds with their campers. I have a photo (included below) of two of E's counselors consoling him on visiting day. He was fine, he saw us, then lost it. I'm sure no one expected that from him since I doubt he'd shown any homesickness prior, but visiting day is emotional- especially when you haven't seen your parents in three and half weeks.

E was made for camp, but he's barely been away from us overnight in his ten years. Parents don't seem to do sleepovers like they did when I was a kid. Truthfully, during the school year, E is way too busy for them. He usually has acting class in NYC on Saturdays that we leave home for early in the morning. Sundays he has swim practice or a swim meet. It just isn't ideal for him to sleep out or to have kids sleep over because you know they aren't sleeping. He needs his sleep for his activities.

Sleepaway camp is really his first opportunity to be away from us on a consistent basis. Thrown right in, seven weeks to start. That's a lot for even a confident, outgoing kid who has never really been away from his parents. His counselors and bunkmates were right there for him in that moment to make that moment easier. That moment of emotion was a blip on the radar though. You can tell he's having an awesome time from the pictures I see, the letters I get, and the stories he told us when we saw him. He certainly hasn't changed his chatty demeanor.

What I love about Wekeela is that it isn't gender specific when it comes to activities. The girls and boys interact for many of the activities and the kids can choose what they want to do. I didn't realize that at day camp, they seemed to have very specific activities that were just boy or just girl. I'd ask E if he did art or dance and he said he wasn't allowed because those were for the girls.

At Wekeela, he got to be in the play and if he wants to do art or dance or anything else, he has the opportunity to do that. He's athletic, but not so into organized sports. If he had to just play sports, he'd be bored and miserable. He likes to play, but more casually, less organized. Meaning, he's not that interested in learning the rules of a game. He just wants to play around. He said he is learning to "knee board" which is something I wouldn't have known about outside of getting this opportunity at camp. I've seen photos of archery, cooking, dancing, dressing up, and more. I love that there seems to be a lot of variety.

I was lucky to have known Lori and Ephram prior to choosing a camp, so I already felt comfortable sending him there. However, I know, this was the best place for him and the best gift we could give him as parents. There are so few and rare opportunities these days where kids can and have to be completely unplugged from personal technology, video games, and social media. Also, where they gain total independence from parents and family. They get to learn how to live with different personalities, people of different backgrounds, different cultures, and from all over the US and outside of this country. Many of the campers and staff are from all over the globe. There is only so much you can teach your kid about other people without them getting to live it in person. Even if E never goes away to college, because who knows what the future holds for him, he will have had a mini college experience of living away that he will help shape him as an adult. There will be memories and bonds he'll hold on to forever.

Then there are just the typical teaching/learning moments they get for day to day living without a nagging parent. Like, but not limited to, figuring out how to match your clothes, remember to put on deodorant, and that when mom sends many shirts and shorts, you're supposed to wear something different and clean on the daily. 

That's why when people who don't understand the whole concept of sleepaway camp, and say, "I can't believe you send your kid away for seven weeks...*I* could never...", my standard answer is- "It's not about ME. It's about HIM". This has been ALL about him. His opportunities, his development as a human, his connections, his bonding, his activities, his maturing, his growing up and his new experiences. He will come back a more well rounded kid with A LOT of new things and people to talk about.

I just really wanted him to see and experience that there is a world out there outside of his parents, friends, and Glen Rock. While I feel B and I are awesome, as are his friends, and our town, it's a bubble. Now that he's had this freedom, and has had to make his own decisions for minutiae, hopefully that will translate at home.

He has about three weeks left and and I feel like this has been a fully positive experience that I wish I had done myself. I was stupid- I thought I'd miss stuff with my friends at home. Little did I know what I was missing at camp. I can't thank Lori, Ephram, and all their staff enough for taking care of our kid so well, loving him, and giving him the best summer of his life.

He's also read like seven books apparently on the Kindle my friend Julie sent him. That's seven more books than last summer, so I'm thrilled! It seems like if other kids are reading, I guess he'll read! Good to know. Hopefully that's the case with eating as well....

**First time campers of any age are allowed to do a Rookie session, which is two weeks. Or they can opt for just one session- 1st or 2nd. We're just "go big or go home" kind of people. We knew he'd love it and want to stay and we were correct!**

For more info on Wekeela:
www.campwekeela.com


About to perform during lunch on Visiting Day

Pinocchio in Shrek


Being consoled by counselors & friends after seeing his parents roll in for visiting day!