9/11

I can't be the only one that gets bugged out when the weather near and on Sept 11th is the same as Sept 11th. Yesterday was like that. It started out that way. Perfect, crisp, not a cloud in the sky. The sky the most amazing shade of blue. September as you want it to be in NJ or NY. It's my favorite weather. But not on Sept 11th or even the few days leading up to it. I prefer it to be humid and gray. But not raining. Because then the families who trek out to the site where they read the names of those who perished on that day in 2001 have the added suck of being rained on. Maybe not the biggest deal in light of where they're going and what they're doing, but that just seems...extra cruel.

I don't usually write about 9/11. I don't know why. Same as not really writing about my mother and death. Believe it or not, I actually do have some feelings and thoughts I prefer to keep quieter. I also feel like many people have a gut-wrenching, heartbreaking 9/11 story. We all know where we were that day, what we were doing, who we were with and who we were missing or thought could be missing. Mine just doesn't seem...important enough to share to the general public. I don't think in most cases people should need to quantify or qualify their sense or feelings of tragedy but in the case of 9/11, you kind of do.

It's the weather of yesterday though that prompted me to say something at all. I don't have anxiety about terror. Or anything, really.  I don't particularly worry about another 9/11 attack. I feel like that would be too cliché, too expected. If they're going to do something to us, they want it to be a surprise. They want to rock us at our core. Not do something we're waiting or prepared for. I think about terror attacks but I don't sit around fearing them. People who live in fear of everything are actually my biggest annoyance trigger.

I don't really have anything profound to say. I'm just here, thinking about weather. About perspective. Hoping those who had their lives shattered and destroyed that day have been able to find some shred of peace and happiness somehow.

Life is busy. But it's short. I'm always annoyed when I hear the phrase- "Hug your loved ones a little tighter today because _____". Usually a tragic, freak story comes after that. How about- hug your loved ones tight every day instead of just when you hear a tragic story. I'm going to say that an awesome tradition in lieu of just one day of tight hugs, would be to do something out of the ordinary. Doing something "out of the ordinary" is what saved a lot of people's lives that day. Late for work, different route, called out. I was supposed to be downtown to do something for my new job that day but I decided not to go.

Do something that gives you a smile. On 9/11, hug your family, and pay your respects to those who were gone in an instant, those who died in their quest to help others and those who fought and still fight for our freedom. THEN, get ice cream for dinner. Go to the park instead of doing laundry. Order a pizza. Go to a mid-week movie. Get a massage. Just do something that gives you a chuckle or puts a smile on someone's face that you love. Surprise someone with something fun. Because the only way to "win" is really to win. At life. Taking pleasure in genuine moments & belly laughs.

Small moments of joy are really what life's all about. Usually I take that small joy in great weather. I spent Summer of Tara soaking up every bit of sun I could. But on 9/11, I hope for subpar weather. I plan to take a ride to House of Cupcakes with E and then go to the park. I will bring a smile to both of our faces. And I'll remember to grab a chocolate cupcake for B as a surprise.

I don't think I have to say- "Never Forget" because I'm positive, no one ever will.