Unknowing who you know

I used to want to know everyone. Ever since I was a kid, I felt like I was meant for more than small town living, only knowing the people in my immediate surroundings. Don't get me wrong, I never wanted to move to the big city, fifteen miles away, that was close enough. It wasn't specifically about suburban surroundings that made me yearn for more, I just think I always inherently KNEW that life is about who you know. 

Maybe because I wasn't a scholar and I didn't really know while I was growing up what I wanted to do as a career. I was never that kid on a specific track toward any one profession. I always worked though, as a teen, always outside of my town. Why? To meet people. My friends and I already hung out in the mall a few towns away all the time, so why not monetize that? I worked in the mall. Probably, if I have to be honest, to meet boys, not just any old people. Whoever I was trying to know then, I think I just knew, even subconsciously, that the more people you meet, the more chance you have for something good or exciting to happen.

I was told I had to go to college, which was fine, because I didn't even really know what that meant, aside from what I'd seen in movies. I was happy to be going though, realizing I'd just meet more people.

I just liked meeting people. There's an unknown when you strike up a conversation in a store, on the beach, on line at the bank. I met some guy today at Starbucks. I have a whole foam/no foam issue, which deserves it's own entry, but while I was dealing with that, a guy struck up a conversation. I probably seem approachable because I'm approached more often then not. Now that I'm 45, with grays on dry shampooed hair, an endless supply of bootcut leggings and no make-up on, I don't think it's my supermodel looks. I just seem amenable to chatting. And I AM. Effortlessly.

When I found social media- Friendster, MySpace, to Facebook, it was like a goldmine of people. I could go back down memory lane, I could friend the people I met on line at the bank, and I could realize I do like people I didn't think I liked. Well, some of them. Then there's the other end of the spectrum. People I had been so happy to reconnect with, that I have awesome memories with as a child, that have so disappointed me with who they turned out to be as adults. 

I'm pretty sure I'm ready to unknow a lot of the people I already know.

I don't think I'd ever be able to go as far as to say that I'm closed like a border wall and not wanting to know new people. That's just not who I am. But I definitely have to be more careful as to who I associate with.

Does that sound dramatic? I don't think so. I'm basing this thought process on being a parent. My kid just turned eleven. He's an old eleven in the way that he's very socially aware and conscious. Whether by nature or nurture, he's a very kind, compassionate, deep person with a strong sense of how people should be treated. He knows the value and definition of being a good friend and tries his hardest to be a person that people want in their lives.

Because being a good person, a friend to all, and an understand soul is so important to us, I can't give people passes who spread ignorance and hate. I can't make excuses for people because of a shared personal history. On old memories. Really, hindsight is 20/20 and when I think back, I can remember certain events that were foreshadowing to these currently held beliefs, I just didn't know it at the time.

It's not about thinking "differently". I have close friends that think somewhat differently on different topics. It's about venom and vitriol. Taking that difference in thinking and actively working against groups of people that deserve peace and love like anyone else. It's when thinking differently turns into trying to pass laws that hurt other people. It's when thinking differently means refusal to any proper research from any credible sources and just regurgitating what's been put out there by other ignorant people.

Yes, in theory, you should be able to have discussions and thoughtful debate with those with differing opinions. There are just some topics I don't feel I would feel like a hypocrite giving people a pass for behavior that is the opposite of what I teach my son is loving, accepting and on the right side of history.