Not An Actor

I finally realized I'm not an actor. I never really thought I was. I've said before, I never even liked Halloween because I never wanted to be anyone but me. In my mind though, I thought if I ever had the chance, I could act. Why not? How hard can it be? You learn some lines. You learn how to make yourself cry. I cry when the kids sing on American Idol, when I watch Girl Meets World, at commercials. I figured if I just was able to learn the lines, I know how to be animated, to emote. Again, how difficult could it really be?? You have no idea.

I can tell you that now have a new appreciation for why actors get paid the big bucks. Going with E on-set to his jobs as background on current prime time tv shows has given me a huge understanding of patience and how you rush to a set to sit and wait. It's been a great lesson to both of us in patience. I run lines with him, but I've never really thought about what he's doing and how he has to emote. I see and hear him doing it, I give him direction, and I know when he's nailed it or not. But I never did it myself. I've done reality tv like Blind Date and Cupid, and been a "panel guest" on shows like The Jane Show (Jane Pratt, before Ricki Lake was a show), and Iyanla VanZant. I just never "acted" in the traditional sense. Those shows I was on- I was still me. A more amped up version of me, but still me.

I went with E to audition for a confidential dermatology product. I'm assuming it's a commercial or infomercial. They didn't really tell us. They were auditioning families of their creation. They had dads ready to go, but I guess the dad and kid part was the most important component of the scene. Two other moms and I were sitting in the waiting area with our kids, just chatting nicely. Maybe that's an oddity that the stage moms would be friendly with each other. But the casting guy was evesdropping on us and said- "Hey, I know this might sound crazy, but you three are so lovely. Would you like to audition with your kids?". Not just as a line runner/filler, but for the part of the mom. Sure, why not? It didn't seem like it would be too hard. Yeah, no.

They paired E with the dad who resembled him enough. I'm assuming they picked E to audition after already picking this guy. They just had no mom yet. My role was to be proud of my husband, hug him, give him an intimate look, tell him how great he is, etc. This man was fine looking. I mean fine as in, like, there was nothing wrong with him. Not like, "Damn, he's fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnneeeeee." I just happen to have this thing, which totally would make me a sucky actor. I can't feign interest. Even when I was dating. I went on two hundred and fifty blind dates because I can't just feign interest. I'm either interested or not. And it's not a superficial looks thing. It's a chemistry thing. It's immediate though. I just couldn't fake these intimate feelings. I felt totally weird, stiff, and like my insides were screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!". We were just too close for comfort. He wasn't my husband and I couldn't pretend he was!

The funniest part was that the casting people were seemingly thrilled, loved that I closed my eyes during the hug, etc. They asked E if he thought mommy did well and he said yes. Then, he told the story to B later. B said jokingly, "You guys were cheating on me! E- how was it seeing mommy with another husband?!" E said- "Oh, I was smiling and saying it was good, but I was barfing on the inside!"

E did great. Castings like this depend mostly on who they pick for the adult. In this case, it was the dad. They had dads and kids in all of the United Colors of Benetton. There was a gorgeous blond mom, one of the ones I was talking to, that looked like a model. She had a mixed kid and they gave him an African American father for the audition. They looked lovely as a "family". I got a call from casting to make sure E was available to shoot on certain dates. I thought he might have gotten it, but it doesn't look like he did. They'd be shooting next week and I haven't heard from them again. I hope he didn't lose the part because of me.

On our way out of the audition, E wanted a hot pretzel. You know, the kind on the street. He's like Pavlov's dogs. If we've done it once, it becomes a thing. He needed that pretzel. Like, on the way there, at 3:30p, he asked if we were getting bagels. Why? Because we always get bagels when we go to the city for acting class on the weekend. So, of course he'd think we're getting bagels in the late afternoon because we were going to the city.

It was around 5:15 when we left the audition and there were literally NO pretzel vendors on the street. He wanted to keep walking and looking. It was a decent weather day so I didn't mind. And I had unlimited parking from one of those parking apps. In our travels, sort of by the Freedom Tower, we ran into a guy who stopped us to chat. He wanted to talk to us about his music. He calls himself Dutch40. His CD he just put out is called The Rebel King. And he does "clean" hip hop. Positive message hip hop. He is a cool, nice, outgoing, guy.

I told him I didn't have any cash on me. Which I didn't. I had about $2 in change to get E a pretzel if I found one, and I was kind of nervous that I was going to have to haggle for that because I don't know how much pretzels go for these days in that district. He said I look like I have a large presence on social media. I laughed. Because, you know, I like to believe I'm famous, so I told him that I do happen to know a lot of people. He gave me a CD on good faith that I'd share it, if we liked it, of course. E loves all music, the guy stroked my ego by saying I must know a lot of people, and I like to help people out when I can. This one was a no-brainer.

CD cover art

E really liked it. He decided to make his own little dance video to it. Enjoy! And check Dutch40 out on Instagram, Twitter, and on Facebook.

Twitter: @Dutch40
Facebook: Dutch40 Blackout

Botox for Migrains- Update!

FINALLY. Let me just tell you how much insurance red tape there was getting to this day. I think my first appointment with Dr Tom was in October or November. I could look but it doesn't really matter. The point is- it's now almost April. Just over twenty-four hours until April to be exact. That makes it like six months since I started this quest to get Botox for migraines. Like, that was my whole intent on going to see a neurologist. I've been living with migraines, that I didn't know were migraines, since I was around E's age- six or seven years old. I have come up with my own concoctions of remedies to ease the pain, but I realized I don't have to now. There are options. I must hear the Botox for migraines commercial a hundred times a day, in between pharmaceutical commercials for erectile dysfunction, restless leg syndrome and Fibromyalgia.

I had three appointments at Dr Tom, where through no fault of his, I had to go through all these other medications before my insurance, good insurance, would consider paying for Botox. Basically, I had to take all these pills, that I didn't want to take, have them not work, thus living through the pain longer, and THEN Horizon Blue Cross/Blue Shield would consider it. But it's not just MY insurance- it's all insurance. My friend's insurance, is trying to fight her on Zomig pills (or maybe Imitrex?) for migraine. She used to get like twelve for a month and now they only want to give her three. Everything is a fight. No one wants to be taking migraine pills if they're not necessary! They're not Quaaludes or weed! They're not Vicodins! They really only work on MIGRAINES.

All the medications Dr Tom gave me failed. I didn't want to be on something daily anyway. That was the first one he gave me. It didn't do anything. Not good or bad. Then he gave me something else that was just an as needed thing and that didn't work either. He put in for the Botox approval. I made an appointment for seven weeks later because he said that was about how long it took to approve. They had to then cancel that appointment because it wasn't approved yet. I made another appointment. That had to be cancelled. Then another. I thought this day was never coming. His office called me that I have to approve a specialty pharmacy shipping the Botox to the doctor. They had to ask me a million questions. I approved it, called Dr Tom's office, the pharmacy called Dr Tom's office. Then the pharmacy called me with more questions. Then they called one more time to confirm the confirmation of approval. It was exhausting. You'd think this was the Ice Princess sent to freeze the world (General Hospital humor). No, no. Just to freeze my face. 

Appointment was for 1:20p today. I prepared for this appointment by driving to the Glen Pointe where the office is, and then slathering my face and neck with LMX 5% cream in my car in the parking lot. That's numbing cream at the highest percent sold over the counter. It's called an anorectal actually, which I believe means it's to numb your extreme hemorrhoids. Whatever. As long as I don't feel all these needles, I'm good. Of course it got all in my hair and it was a mess, but I was slathered as planned.

After listening to a crazy lady yell like a lunatic at her elderly mother in the waiting room, it was my turn. I was approved for 200 units (with NO CO-PAY!). I watched Dr Tom reconstitute it and fill all the syringes. It looked like a lot. He wanted to go over possible side effects and possible bruising, but I needed to skeddaddle. I was there way too long. It was already 2:06 when I was watching him fill syringes and I had to get E by three-ish.

By the way, I found out that Allergan raised the hell out of their prices for Botox and it will probably only get more expensive. There are reasons too long and boring to go into, but that's why you no longer see Groupons or Living Social deals for ninety dollars for twenty units of Botox. Those days are G-O-N-E, gone.

When I've gotten Botox cosmetically, they always said I wouldn't probably see results for at least a week. It always seemed to work extra fast on me, which is not psychosomatic. I can SEE it. Same with this. Below is a picture of my forehead. I'm bad at selfies for sure, but I wanted to get close up. Believe it or not, I'm actually trying to scrunch my forehead but this is all it goes. So yay- even if it doesn't work for migraines, it sure does work well for wrinkles! I wasn't super wrinkly on my forehead prior, but now I'm extra unwrinkled. You can obviously see some little blood marks where he injected.

He told me the pattern for migraine which makes total sense- especially for where I feel pain. He did it in my forehead, sides of my face, although not my crows feet, which can really use a refresher. He did in my scalp on the sides and where pressure points are, the base of my head where it meets my neck and some of the muscle on top of my shoulders. He used one hundred and fifty-five units. He is super by-the-book so the rest of it gets tossed. Trust me, I asked where it goes.

It felt really weird, getting injected in the head. I was glad I used the numbing cream but it did still hurt. It hurt more in the "angry 11" between my eyes, on my forehead, and I think on the sides of my face. Oddly, the scalp ones weren't bad at all and I had no cream there. I think the whole injection process probably took like ten minutes. It was fine. Quick. I don't think the ones on my neck and shoulders hurt at all.

So that's it. Now we wait and see. To qualify to even try this Botox for migraines, you need to have headaches at least fourteen times a month. I actually get more than that. Let's hope THIS is my cure. Or at least gives me more headache-free days a month. I could totally use that. He gave me a prescription for Relpax too, which is an as-needed prescription. I JUST got the coupon card that lets you get it at a discount, because even with insurance, it's still expensive. It took like four weeks to sign up on the Relpax site to get the card.

I am going to really keep track of my headaches for the next six weeks. In six weeks I go back to Dr Tom just to assess how well the Botox has been working. I'm going to make sure I document so I really know how much or little of a difference in frequency or severity there is in my migraines. FINGERS CROSSED!

My forehead post injection

Yani's Bake House

I took E to dance with only the intention to go home and lay on the couch when we got home. I was falling asleep while sitting in the waiting room of his dance class so I was trying to find something to focus on. BINGO. I saw a grand opening flyer for Yani's Bake House, a new local bakery in Fair Lawn. I'm always up to try baked goods. I Google-mapped it and it said it is one minute from the dance school. AND open until 7p. Ok, we were going as soon as E was done.

I made that left on to River Road from Fair Lawn Ave and it was like RIGHT there. On the right hand side. I didn't see what it was next to except a pet grooming place. E was trying to read the word "salon" while I was trying to park and then he was asking a million questions about why a dog would go to a salon.  It's small, so it isn't a place to sit and drink coffee. It's where you go to grab some stuff to hide in your house for you to eat alone.

I stopped in at around five o'clock so I don't know if they had other stuff earlier in the day. When I came in, there were vanilla/caramel cupcakes, chocolate cupcakes, three different kinds of scones, thick chocolate chip cookies, some kind of caramel cake in mason jars, and my all time favorite- French macarons. Oh, and cream puff shells. They fill the shells as you buy so they don't get soggy. I was confused because I never had a soggy cream puff. HOWEVER, I also never had whatever was inside these either. I normally would never get a cream puff with custard inside. I'm a whipped cream kind of gal. I asked what the creme filling is in them and she said it's sort of a combination of whipped cream and custard. That did sound interesting so I got two of those too. I didn't have high hopes though because I usually don't like the filling unless it's just whipped cream.

Well, I tried a cream puff after dinner last night. I don't know what that was in there, but it wasn't overly thick so I can understand the whole soggy thing. But it was SO good. I would definitely get them again. I have one left and I'm not sharing.

E had the chocolate cupcake. It's not my thing - I have to be honest. I prefer much sweeter fare. But E and B LOVE this type of dark chocolate taste. I gave it to E, but after just tasting a little bit, I know B would've really enjoyed it too. I'm just not much of a chocolate cake person to begin with. I'm always going with the vanilla. I didn't get to eat my cupcake yet. I'll be doing that today. I did stick my finger in the frosting. I liked it a lot. I will only say I wish there was more frosting on them. I like a lot of frosting. I don't like to see any cake on the top. But that's just my personal preference.

I brought the French macarons to work today to enjoy with my coffee I decided to buy this morning on my way to work. I bought three. I know one was guava, one was nutella and I think the other one was peanut butter and chocolate. I would never have picked guava, but it was pink and it looked like strawberry or raspberry, so I figured I'd give it a whirl. They were ALL really good. Again, I'm not a big fan of chocolate so I liked that one the least, but for chocolate people, you'll love it. I actually liked the guava one the best! I thought I'd favor the nutella, so I surprised myself. I will definitely be back for those.

I didn't buy or try the scones but that's because I have it in my head that scones are hard. Crunchy. I prefer chewy baked goods over crunchy so it just didn't seem like it would be my thing. But they did look tempting. I don't know if I've ever really looked at one up close, but they actually looked like they'd be tasty. They just aren't something I'd normally think to eat. I tried a sample of whatever was in the mason jar and that was really good. E really enjoyed the sample as well.

So go check out Yani's Bake House if you get a moment. It's always nice to welcome a new small business owner to the area and satisfy your sweet tooth at the same time. They're very friendly in there and I'm sure they'll be happy to see you!

Bergen Family Fun Fest

Save the Date!! 

Saturday May 21, 2016

VAN SAUN PARK

 

Guilt Be Gone

Where does all the guilt come from? Everyone seems to have tremendous guilt all the time. Well, actually, that's probably not true. I don't think men have even close to the guilt women put on themselves. More specifically, moms. Men, fathers, they don't seem to stop and think about whether they should do this or that. They just do or don't do and it's not a thing. Moms are second guessing every little move as if they're being audited as a parent by the IRS. I try to write as little about parenting as possible for a few reasons. There are enough mommy bloggers. I don't think anyone really cares about other people's opinions on parenting. I've just read too many instances of guilt driven posting and it's driving me mad. Mad, I say.

In just the past few days, I've seen the following on message boards or Facebook groups I'm in. Someone asked what people do with their kids while they're getting ready in the morning. Her kid watches tv for like forty-five minutes or an hour. She wonders if there is a better use of her kid's time. GUILT.

Another one wanted to know about play date reciprocation. A mom friend does elaborate themed play dates for four year old girls, and she can't do the same. Or doesn't want to. GUILT! Then, there's one who runs. For mental and physical health. She works full time and wants forty-five minutes a few times a week to run. Her husband gives her a hard time about it, pretty much every single time she leaves the house. She wanted to know if she's selfish for feeling the need to run.

Dude. You should be running. Anywhere, but back home.

Me sitting next to an open flame. Rita: Guilt-free, circa 1975

We are all individuals. With needs and wants. I don't know when it became the norm or appropriate to just give yourself away to others so freely without taking anything for yourself. I sort of blame the invention of the play date. Except, that I don't even know the origin of that nightmare. Whenever someone mentions they feel guilty about taking time for themselves, I think about the seventies, eighties, and nineties- the times when I was under parental eye and rule. I think about how our parents would've handled all these situations. And dare I say- they'd handle almost anything with a Tab, a cigarette, and look that said- "Get the F out the house until it's dark".


Trust me, it's not that I put Rita up as the paragon of healthy parenting. But as kids, we just did. No one's mom was arranging play dates. We picked up the receiver to our Princess phone or we walked or rode bikes over to someone's house and just asked if they could play. And then we would take off. Maybe some of the time would be spent riding around the neighborhood. Some would be spent at one house, and then maybe a switch to the other. There was no tit for tat or reciprocation issues. There was always someone's home that was more of the "home base". Where everyone tended to hang out more. No one kept score though. No one's mom came with them extending a fruit or crudite platter.

Parental planning of our time with our friends was non-existent. I'm just trying to imagine Rita planning out a dress-up play date and I can't even conjure up an image. I doubt she even knew who was in our house half the time. I would just introduce a kid she'd never seen, she'd say hi, and then return to whatever she was doing. Or watching- Ryan's Hope, Days of Our Lives, Another World, General Hospital...

I remember once, it had to be like first grade, and I told Marissa P. to walk home (WHAT?! Walk?! Call DYFS! is what we'd hear now) with me and we'd just call her mom later to tell her where she was. FIRST GRADE. My point is- our parents didn't manage our time. They didn't even think about it. There wasn't this formality, itinerary, or parental etiquette to playing. By extension, no guilt. I would go around the corner to Sara's and play Barbies until we got sick of each other. I don't remember even seeing parents that often. Our parents didn't entertain us and they didn't feel anything about it.

I guess people would say it's because of working. A lot of moms are working now and many of our moms didn't work. That excuse doesn't fly for me. I work outside the house. I love, love, love what I do. There are plenty of us out there. For most moms I see on message boards though, that work outside the house, they work because they have to add to their household income. Not just because they're doing something they have a passion for. This is where the saying "it is what it is" makes sense. You have to work. End of story. Your kids have to adapt to that and they WILL. Whatever you do- work or stay home- that is your kids version of normal. There is no use for guilt. It's just life. It's your way of life. If you can't be there for every little event or milestone, you'll all get through it.

In this world of everyone gets a trophy, instead of guilt, you should be happy to send some adversity your kid's way. They certainly aren't getting any adversity organically. All of us adults got our coping skills and/or street smarts and even some of our humor, from whatever it is what it is situations we grew up with as our normal. Remember- when your kids are in therapy in twenty years, it will be about the stuff you're sure you did right, versus what you think you did wrong.

Like with the tv- if having your kid watch tv for an hour while you get ready allows you to get ready, then why do you have guilt? Why do you need validation that it's okay to do? Does it work for you? Then it's fine. It is what it is. No one is Supermom. Although, having the confidence that you are could really benefit those that question every little decision. Have your hills to die on, and the rest you let go. Any scenario you post for other moms is going to earn you judgement from at least one or two other ones. THAT YOU DON'T KNOW. Realistically- why would you care what they think anyway?

The other night in a FB group, a mom asked: "Does anyone ever take their sitter on vacation with them and what and how do you pay them?". The first, FIRST, response was: "Never on a family vacation because they're not needed". Well thank you very much, biotch. THAT'S NOT WHAT SHE ASKED. Then the original poster clarified that she's helping her elderly mother clean out her home and needs someone capable to watch and entertain her toddler while she helps her mom. THAT, then made it "okay" in Mrs Judgy McJudgerson's eyes.

Now, I would say that I suppose that's where the guilt comes from- other people's judgements. No, no. It comes from YOU. You have to allow a stranger's voice to get in your head. It's on you to take ownership of your choices. We all make choices- some good and some not-so-much. But they're ours. Once they're made, that's it. Most of the time you can't turn back time or change your choice, so the guilt is worthless. Most of the time, these are not life shattering decisions either. Letting your kid watch tv for an hour or not wanting to play Julie, the cruise director to your child's princess play date is not a cause for guilt. Leave your child at the store by mistake- ok. Take some guilt. Give your child fetal alcohol syndrome - sure, grab that guilt. Your daily, run of the mill, parenting decisions? No. Guilt should get the goodbye kick in the ass.

Obviously, not all the seventies and eighties parenting choices need to make a replay. We're better off with seat belts and car seats. I haven't seen a kid eat Wonder white, bologna & Miracle Whip for lunch in years. I'm sure we're all better for that too. But our parents did that stuff and it didn't even occur to them to feel guilty about any of it. From expecting us to make our own breakfast (cereal) in the morning while they sleep, to kicking us out to play until dark, there was no guilt. Parents expected us to revolve around them, not the other way around.

How did we get to the point where we, as parents, bend over backwards for our kids, yet there is still this enormous amount of guilt for never being good enough? Not doing enough. Not making things grander, bigger, more awesome. Buying more, giving more. Entertaining more. It's CUCKOO. It's. Bunk.

Stop comparing yourself to the next mom over. She may write child theater for play dates but maybe her kids eat Cheese Doodles and drink Capri Sun for dinner. She may have the kids over her house more, but maybe because she can't bear to cut the cord even for a play date. Maybe her kid annoys the living snot out of her and your kid provides a distraction for a few hours. Maybe she just likes to be around other people's children. Maybe she has a better house for play dates where children don't need to be seen or heard. Maybe she just thinks you look like you could use the down time. Maybe you've just done such a great job in child rearing that you have an exceptionally polite & easy child to have over. In that case- don't feel guilty- just buy her some cupcakes as a thank you one day when you're running errands. And your kid is at her house. Again.

I will never craft anything, put gold coins in the toilet for St.Patrick's Day, nor do I want to be up in the school volunteering for...anything. More power to the ones who do it and love it. I do make my son perfect, PERFECT, peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, I teach him 80's, 90's & today pop culture, and I shuttle him around all week to his nine thousand activities like I have a CDL license. Amongst all the other, regular stuff I do as a mom. Do I do the same as another mom? I have no flippin' idea. Because I don't care. I'm doing more than just drinking a Tab, smoking cigarettes & telling him to drink water from the garden hose, that's for damn sure.

As far as I'm concerned, we're all mothers of the year these days just by getting more than that done. Next time you feel that guilt creeping over you for not being everything to your kid, just ask yourself what your mom would've done. I guarantee, most of you, will feel infinitely better.

PS- I stole this photo from the internet. I don't feel guilty. But I left their website on the bottom anyway. Kid Accupuncture sounds like a good idea. 

JacksonStrong

FUNdraiser!

Camp Fair 2016- Bergen Town Center

Bergen Town Center- Paramus, NJ

Superheroes in the Rock

B, E and I had the pleasure of going to a talent show fundraiser for the Christopher Baron Live Life Foundation last night. It was really an amazing night. I'm so impressed with the talent of so many local kids. From dancing to singing, to instrument playing, all kinds of music, it was all extraordinary showing of talented young people.

We'd first heard the name Christopher Barron when we moved here in 2006. We knew there was a young boy who had leukemia in town. We didn't know him, but we knew the town was really rallying to help him and his family. But we didn't know the family- we didn't really know anyone in Glen Rock and we didn't have a kid yet, so we weren't really involved in anything going on here, especially having to do with kids.

Christopher passed away when he was nine, in 2007. Suzanne Barron took her tragedy and turned it into something positive. She took Christopher's love of comic books and superheroes and helped get comic book art workshops to underserved kids in the area, like schools in Paterson, NJ. Christopher's Comic Book Inspirations is a workshop for fifth graders in School 21, taught by a professional comic book writer. Without this workshop, in 2011, there was no other in-school enrichment program. Because of budget cuts, the school lost art, music and library. Now that they're in their fourth year, three hundred kids have participated and they want to be able to expand to other schools in Paterson.

photo credit: Amy Newman, Bergen Record

On July 14th, 2014, B took E to one of these workshops they held inside Well Read Books in Hawthorne, NJ. We knew the event was sponsored by the Christopher Barron Live Life Foundation, but we still really didn't know anything about the foundation or Christopher. B had the pleasure of speaking with Christopher's mother that day. He learned about comic books and comic book art being some of her son's favorite things. When Christopher was eight, had made his own comic book series called, The Adventures of Ultimate Man, which he sold on his front lawn. E had a great time at that event, was super proud of his effort, and even got his photo in the newspaper.

As soon as B read that they were doing a fundraiser in the high school this week, he told me and we decided to go with E. It did not disappoint. We were in awe of the many kids who were of all ages. Jordan, who I believe was Christopher's best friend started this talent show four years ago and has kept it going ever since. He is an amazing dancer and really got the crowd excited. There was a boy, Gavin, in the third grade, who danced like he could've been on America's Got Talent. There were dancers and singers from Glen Rock, Ridgewood, and other local towns who showcased their talent and their heart.

I have to say- I was also proud, amazed, and warmed by how accepted and applauded boys were doing things so "out of the box" from how B or I grew up. I don't know how cool it would've been for boys to be dancing to Lady Gaga, doing interpretive contemporary dance, or singing show tunes. I don't know that the kids in my graduating class would've been cheering like the kids and parents were cheering last night- especially seeing the vile things I've read on the Facebook pages of some people I grew up with. And I'm from Bergen County. I just think it's fantastic I live in a time and place where kids can just be who they are and show their talents, whatever they happen to be without fear of any sort of social repercussion. Having a seven year old boy who has taken all kinds of dance since he was two and a half years old, and who LOVES it, seeing the boys dance made me so happy. I'm not going to lie- I was also THRILLED to see Jordan and Gavin both do solos. Maybe E won't be so nervous to do his own in a couple of months at his recital.

The girls who performed were fantastic too. I just happen to have a boy, so it's nice to see boys performing in the arts. I've always felt like Glen Rock is such a sports oriented town. It is and it's a fact. However, I feel like a lot of these kids are just so much more well-rounded than we were back in the olden days. Or even just compared to other places in the state or the country. Like, they can play football AND dance. Or play lacrosse and sing. It's ALL good. It's beyond refreshing.

I'm pretty sure Jordan said this was his last year- I assume he must be going off to college. I really hope that this incredible talent event continues to go on, even if Jordan isn't here to organize it. It was a PACKED house last night and it's a really positive event for the entire community. It seems like a really terrific way to honor Christopher's memory.

I think this is a really awesome non-profit to donate to if you're looking for somewhere to send some money. It takes cold, hard cash to get someone to teach in these schools, and to get materials to teach with. You can donate right from their foundation page. Christopher Barron Live Life Foundation

Article about the event at Well Read Books:
http://www.northjersey.com/news/aspiring-comic-book-artists-make-their-dreams-real-at-hawthorne-event-1.1050641

Trans-what the what, now?

I don't know why the concept of people being transgender is so hard to grasp. Although, homosexual is to difficult of a concept to grasp for many still too, so I don't know why I'm surprised that people don't understand transgender.

I was scrolling through my Facebook feed when I saw a friend ask if anyone has any feedback about the show, I am Cait. That is the reality show about Caitlyn Jenner, formerly known as Bruce Jenner. Believe it or not, I've never seen an episode of any Kardashian show and I didn't watch I am Cait either. I just don't care about any of them enough to want to watch any show featuring any of them.

I don't have any strong feelings about any of them, the Jenners included. I'm just not a fan. I never think about them until they're in my face. I don't begrudge them their fame. Who am I to judge them? I watch other reality tv, so it isn't like the perception that they're famous for nothing bothers me. If you can find a way to be famous and make millions, where people aren't sure exactly what you do- all the power to you. Many people wish that could be their life.

It's funny, when Caitlyn Jenner was picked as the recipient for the Arthur Ashe Courage award, I was all about standing up for Cait. Because I do still think that the man formerly known as famous athlete Bruce Jenner was brave for being able to finally come out as Caitlyn and live her truth. Except, that I didn't really know anything about Bruce Jenner or Caitlyn Jenner. I didn't know what he stood for and I didn't know what she stands for. I didn't know political affiliation or anything else. I knew this was a person being ridiculed daily in the public eye, in tabloids, and on radio shows. I am a huge supporter of the LGBTQ community and I think everyone should be able to be who they are.

People I know were comparing Caitlyn to troops fighting wars overseas. They compared her to veterans. They said she was undeserving of a courage award and decidedly not brave. I argued the opposite. This was an award given in sports. By ESPN. Bruce Jenner, now Caitlyn, was a famous athlete as a man. Now he is a woman. Troops and vets had nothing to do with this award and they can all be considered brave.

Caitlyn Jenner

After all the hype died down, I started to get wind of the real Caitlyn Jenner with the Bruce Jenner values, convictions, and privilege. And I realized that I am not interested in her, her story, or her thoughts on much of anything. I'm not watching anything featuring her and I don't care to hear her views on politics.

However- I still think she's brave. Why? Because even with all her money, all her privilege, and her conservative republican views, she's still transgender and that comes with a stigma. With ridicule. With the ever present fear that harm might come to you just for being you.

I just don't have to like HER. Just as all gay people aren't the same, all straight people aren't the same, all trans people aren't the same. There are great people in every bunch and jerks in every bunch as well. It's the act of living as who you are that's brave for anyone. That's something for everyone to aspire to and for which to have compassion.

I saw the comments on my friend's post asking if anyone has watched the show. I saw how one person said that she doesn't believe Cait is really a transgender woman. That she did it for the money. SHE CHANGED HER GENDER FOR MONEY. I could tell that this woman really believes this. That someone who was so publicly and celebrated as a male, would change their gender for fame and money. At sixty-something years old.

Then, a second person didn't put her opinion out there in any more words than "No comment,", which was telling enough. They both ended up saying that they just didn't want to argue on the original person's Facebook page. But I knew enough about what they believe. I've encountered people like this on social media, people I grew up with, friends of friends, and someone's a-hole husband I defriended and blocked because he was such an uneducated, ignorant buffoon on all that is transgender men and women (and most everything else he had opinions about).

So, yes, I think anyone who comes out as a trans man or woman, especially in the public eye, is brave and courageous. I happen to live somewhere, for the most part, where people are generally more liberal about homosexuality, marriage equality, transgender issues, etc. Generally. But North Jersey is a SMALL area compared to the rest of the country. In other parts of the STATE, let alone the country, people are not welcoming, hospitable, understanding, compassionate, or even interested in learning about anything having to do with the trans community. They're biased and bigoted all the while being totally ignorant.

I'm behind, but have been watching this season's American Crime show on ABC. I'm sick over watching how terrible events came about like a boulder going down a hill. It's a great depiction of how being ignorant and intolerant of homosexuality can lead to deadly and sickening consequences. Also, how the area you live in can play a major role in how people who are different can be perceived.

The friend who posted the inquiry about watching the show grew up where I did but has since moved south. I don't know if the people posting their opinions are from where she lives currently, but they live there now. It just reminded me of how far we still have to go in understanding those who are different from what we know. The fact that there are people who still believe that being gay is a choice or that being transgender is a choice shows how much more education is needed. We may have shows like Transparent (which is fabulous), and it may win Emmy's, but we are far from a fully enlightened society. But that's a tv show, and it's LA. Also known as LaLa Land. It's not real life. There are real people, living real lives transgender, and they certainly aren't doing it for fame or money. Or attention.

Jeffrey Tambor in Transparent

While I am not into Caitlyn Jenner specifically, I am for being whoever you are. And to remind people that while we've made progress, we're not done. Those of us who aren't part of the trans community, need to stop perpetuating lies and general misinformation that anyone is changing genders for any kind of monetary reward. If you don't understand it- that's fine too. But go do yourself, and everyone else, a favor, and do some real research. I'm glad there are shows like I am Jazz, to show my son at such an early age. So he grows up seeing transgender people the same way he sees anyone else- as people. Humans.

Jazz Jennings- "I am Jazz"

Free Class! Fun class! Summer class!

Classes! Some free! Don't miss this. Ethan wants to sing so maybe we'll try the singing class. But if your kid is interested in acting- check them out. Best classes ever! Try it in NYC and then if your kid loves it, but you don't feel like going to the city every week- sign up for one in Bergen or Morris County. You get the best of both worlds- a NYC caliber class, but the option to take it in NJ.

FREE SAMPLE CLASS DAY TV/FILM CLASSES + TOP AGENT Mallory Levy, Generation TV Sunday, April 17th, 12:30pm     IMPROVISATION & ON-CAMERA TECHNIQUE HIT BANNER TO REGISTER! WEEKEND CLASSES       WEDNESDAY CLASSES     COACHINGS/TAPINGS Register for Spring Electives! Singers Showcase, Teleprompt Hosting, Tots 917.763.1777 Singers Showcase Elective Prepare for Final Theatre Day! Here's a great Spring Elective Class for Singers who want to learn vocals and/or show off their singing ability for an audience in the theatre. Great for Pop and Broadway Aspiring Young Talent. Information/Register Here Teleprompt & TV Hosting Class Saturdays, 6-Weeks It's really simple.  This is a class you can add to your resume big time, as it's used for commercials, industrials and all forms of public speaking.  It's a skill that will make you stand out from the rest. Information/Register Here Toddler Fundamentals (Ages 4 - 6) Sunday Non-Readers Class, May 1st, 12:30p A really fun and nurturing environment for our youngest actors.  We'll continue to discover personality and understanding of constructive play thru improvisation and on-camera work. Information/Register Here 917.763.1777 | Info@ActorsTechniqueNY.com | ActorsTechniqueNY.com STAY CONNECTED:

ATNY KIDS & TEENS, ATNY at Pearl Studios, 500 8th Ave. 35/36th St., 4th Floor, New York, NY 10018 Todd Etelston, ATNY

Fun & Luxe

***New Store Alert!!*** FLOGA NEW YORK

B, E and I went to Garden State Plaza last Saturday night for dinner. I wanted jellybeans so it was a Grand Lux Cafe kind of night. We decided to walk around a little after I got my beans - E looked cute, and I could've sworn I got emails saying the Easter bunny was in the malls. I thought I'd do his photo while we were already in the mall. Well, I needed to see if it was the good bunny or the creepy bunny first, but my plan was to do the photo.

I couldn't find any bunny, but I did find Floga New York. What is that, you ask? WELL, it's a super cool store with funky stuff- right up my alley. It's in the spot, second floor, that was formerly Herve Leger. Next to a make up store. By Neiman Marcus.

The hats jumped out at me right away. Anyone that knows me knows that I love a good hat. But it has to be fun and different. I don't want just a run of the mill wool beanie. I want something colorful, unique and interesting. I have one that looks sort of like a court jester hat and I LOVE it. This place has all kind of fur hats. Not fur hats like ladies from the old country fur but FUN. All the colors of the rainbow. Okay, if you're morally against fur, this isn't the store for you. They specialize in fine/luxury fur and leather goods. This is the thing- I get being against fur but if you're protesting wearing leather shoes, then I can't really take you seriously. I don't typically wear fur- it's not really something I think about. I've never owned any real fur because I don't have a real fur budget. And where am I wearing it? When I think of fur, I think of Alexis Blake in the 80's.

When I walked in and felt some of these things, I couldn't help but think about how amazing they'd look on. I was thinking these pieces would be a good way to glam up a blah outfit.

My favorite hat

This is different fur. This is affordable but still luxe fur at all price points. So if you're not against fur, or leather, their hats and wraps are fab, the colors are amazing, and the leather sandals are extremely chic. They are Greek made and I met the owner in her store that night. She's lovely. I lost her card somewhere in my travels over the past few days so I can't tell you her name. But she's probably in her store if you want to go say hello.

The store has way more colorful items than I saw on their website, so you really have to stop in, feel everything, and try on. They're about to bring in their sandals and other spring/summer stuff, so I think almost everything in the store is on sale.

We're talking fingerless gloves for around $40, some hats for $75. It's a great time to buy gifts for the next holiday season. I always buy ahead myself so there is nothing like an end of season sale.

http://www.floganewyork.com/