Wekeela 2021: They Did It Again

 

E has been home from sleepaway camp for about ten days now. It's been a whirlwind of chaos, Axe-bombing and laundry. I would've written sooner, but if you've read my previous blogs about the return home from camp, it's sort of like having a newborn and going from zero to one again. The first year his bags consisted of twigs, dirt, rocks, a ton of crap that wasn't his and much of his stuff gone missing. Last year was somewhat better after I looked like that Taylor Armstrong meme with the cat the first time. This time was leaps and bounds above the past two times but still involved wet towels and foul smells. 

Enough about me and how I'm affected by his return. I'm focused on the negative aspect of his return because there's so much positive about what goes on there are camp for him. People who don't get camp always ask if I'm ready for him to come home. If I miss him. If I'm excited for him to come home. I don't really know how to answer truthfully without them thinking I'm a sociopath. I know they don't get it but the real answer is a big fat no. Why? For WHAT? What is he coming back to? 

Should he come back to roam around downtown, going to CVS to buy candy to shove in his face? Can't do that at Wekeela. They don't allow packages and don't allow parents to send candy. Even though parents decided to just do their own thing this year, trying to hide candy contraband in tampon boxes and pillows. Too bad they got caught, candy confiscated, life threatening allergies of other campers they weren't thinking about, avoided. I'm happy to have a camp that doesn't allow packages. One less thing to think about and less garbage for him to put into his body. He does that enough for the ten months he's here.

Should he have come back to endless news of the Delta variant of Covid raging, things shutting down again, and people getting sick, when they had a lovely little bubble of wellness, not even having to think about Covid? I loved not having to think about where he was, what he was doing, who he was with, and the possibility of any virus transmitted.

Or, should he have come back to the wettest, grossest July in NJ since like the early 1900s, where I couldn't even go to the town pool? Although now, he's come back to pretty much the same weather in August that we had in July. 

He left on the last day of school, June 24. We don't start school until September 9th. When people say to me- "I can't believe you send your kid away for the whole summer", they clearly have no idea what they're talking about. He comes home generally around August 10-12th. That means he basically has another whole MONTH of summer before school starts here. He basically gets TWO summers. An awesome time at camp, then a whole month to be bored enough here to be so grateful he gets to go to camp. So for anyone in NJ on the fence about sending your kid, which you don't even have to do for the full seven weeks, but they STILL have SO. MUCH. TIME. to...summer with you. Trust me, I have plenty of time to tell him to pick up his stuff, be home by a certain time, be a chauffeur, etc,

So far, he's been back ten days. He's been in a theater camp this week, thank goodness, from early morning until mid-afternoon. Then he comes home and if I don't tell him to go do something, where do I find him? On his phone. There are no phones, no video games, and no internet access at Wekeela! I didn't have to read texts, receives FaceTime calls to my phone (don't ask), and hear the pinging of group texts all day and night. 

He has rules for screen time and phone use when he's home. But for seven glorious weeks I didn't have to even look at that thing. It could've been a deck of cards. He didn't look at it. We all ignored it. He was seven weeks phone free and better for it. I have the screen time thing set on his phone but I haven't gotten around to changing it from when he was in school. Like I said above, he left for camp on the last day of school. I never had to set it for during the school day hours. I don't have time to police him all day. If I don't think about it or he's not in front of me, like today, he gets away with more time than I'd like until I get to changing it. It's just an annoyance I wish I didn't have to deal with. 

Back to camp. This was a crazy summer. There were employee shortages everywhere. I know restaurants had that problem and then I heard about camps. A friend of a friend had to pick her kid up after six days at sleepaway camp in New Hampshire because they didn't have the staff to keep the camp running. I read an article in the New York Times that said there were numerous camps that had to close because of staff shortages. Camp is not somewhere you want them getting by on bare bones. Another camp I know with what I thought was an impeccable reputation had like thirty-five cases of Covid run through the camp. All I know is that Wekeela went on for the seven weeks with enough staff to stay open, fully operational, and no Covid. 

This summer was the first time E had any of his friends from town come as campers. Three of his friends came for the three and a half week second session. I was a little nervous how that would be since this is his place. However, it turned out great. Two of the boys are his closest friends. He was friendly with the third boy but they weren't close. It turned out they became very bonded after being there together and now that boy is going for the full seven weeks next summer. And he was the one whose mom was the most unsure he'd want to go back because he'd never gone to sleepaway camp, wasn't that keen on going in the first place, and just doesn't get that excited about much. But, he LOVED it and had the best time. 

Especially, in this weird time of Covid, I feel like sleepaway camp is one of the best, most important gifts you could give your child. After a year and a half of virtual or hybrid learning, fear of getting sick, possibly losing friends and loved ones, political fighting, etc, kids don't even know how to relate to each other. It's like in Footloose at the dance when the kids are all just sitting there until Wren gets everyone up. Kids who used to be somewhat normal, or whatever is normal for tweens and teens, don't even know how to talk to each other! They've barely been in the same room for eighteen months or so. It's really sad. There has been a huge uptick in anxiety, depression, anger, lack of confidence, etc. They need a win. The win can simply come in the form of normalized socialization. Now that we're going back to uncertainty in what school will look like AGAIN this year, they are going to need camp more than ever.

If you're going to send your kid to sleepaway camp, you want to send them to a place who has managed to do it really well over basically two Covid summers. Kids are really messed up emotionally from being schooled virtually, being home with their families almost full time. Who knows what they've been dealing with since this mess started in 2020. To be able to send your kid away to some kind of normalcy, where they can re-learn how to interact with their peers of both their own gender and the opposite, is priceless. It's something we'd have taken for granted in the past, but so needed more than ever now. 

Every summer my son comes home there is more and more personal growth. This summer was no different. He said he had a great time. He wishes he was still there. Three out of three of his friends had a great time. I couldn't have asked for a better outcome. All four boys are bonded in a different, better, stronger way than before they left that only comes from living together for that time, in that special camp way. Sharing their inside jokes, color war, and of course, wearing each others clothes, much to my chagrin.

Every time someone says to me- "I could never send my kid away. I'd miss him/her too much...". My answer is always- "It's not about you". And it isn't. Sure. I miss him. But I also know what I'm doing for him. Giving him. It's a gift of independence and maturity that I couldn't replicate in any other way. It's also the only time in his entire life, I know he's fully taken care of, and I have absolutely nothing to do with it. And being able to grow at Wekeela, where they teach and believe in becoming better people- I couldn't be sending him to a more amazing place. 

The only thing I hope for in the future, is being able to return to having visiting day. Since Covid, B sort of became adept at using the hair clippers and E could definitely use a mid-camp haircut. Plus, I LIKE TO GO THERE. B thinks foregoing the trip to Maine is totally fine. I LIKE IT and I WANT TO GO. It's our one chance to see him in his element and I enjoy it. 

If you're ready for your kid to have the summer of their lives, and then by extension you to have the same, I'll be happy to talk your ear off about all things sleepaway camp, Wekeela, and E would be more than eager to hook up with your kid to do the same. Psst- Earlybird enrollment is now open - I know you probably think it's really soon to be thinking about next summer, but it certainly isn't. Before you know it, you'll be wondering what your kids are going to be doing and it will be too late. I'll never forget learning this lesson in pre-school. Signing E up for only three days going into the 2's class because "he seems so little". Only to get there and he totally could've done all five days. Except I was shut out by then. I had to scramble to figure out what to do with him for those other two days a week because he wasn't a "sit around" kind of child, ever. Grab your kid's spot now! Camp Wekeela

Thank you Cafluns, Wekeela, and Maine, for yet another amazing summer! 

Life Lessons

 

I consider myself fairly educated. I have a high school diploma. I would say it's from what was I would consider a mediocre school in Bergen County NJ school district in the nineties. New Jersey has always ranked pretty high as far as public schools go, and Bergen County even higher, so even mediocre is probably pretty good in comparison to other places. I also have a Bachelors degree in Psychology from Rider University, with minors in Women's Studies (not sure if that's still a thing) & Social Work. Notice though, none of those say doctor. I am not a doctor. Of anything. So I don't try to play one. 

When I was pregnant with E, I had been on message boards for ages already. I was already reading too much. And you actually CAN read too much. The internet is a double edged sword as we've learned. I chose a pediatrician based on not wanting someone old-school, that would push off any concerns I might have.

I chose a holistic pediatrician or something like that. I thought I had chosen the best. At first, it was great. Until it wasn't. My kid had real problems and his doctor was more interested in being on Good Morning America than being available. Then they thought they'd just solve everything with some tea tree oil and massage. Yeah, no, that wasn't going to cut it. But while I was still with them, it was also the height of the MMR shot = autism panic. And I remember those of us in the more holistic camp being in the "we'll do our own research" camp and being with this kind of practice because they spread out vaccines and weren't all gung ho about vaccines in the first place. I think they even took non-vaccinated kids. I don't know because I wasn't all that knowledgeable about the whole anti-vax movement at the time. I was only concerned about the MMR. 

It's funny though, back then, those of us going to the holistic practice thought we were doing so much more, with our research bullshit, and being so careful, when it probably didn't do anything and it was just more money spent in co-pays. Back then, at least of people I knew, it were the more politically conservative/registered Republicans going to the old-school doctors and the more crunchy Dems going to the holistic guys. Funny how the tables have turned and it's the right wingnuts who are anti-vax now. Not particularly people I know, but in general. I don't associate with wingnuts of any kind as my social media friends list gets smaller and smaller....

All I can remember is that by the time E needed the MMR, the pharmaceutical companies weren't breaking up the shots anymore and he just had to get whatever he had to get. Maybe he got it a little delayed but he got it, and he was fine. I was nervous but it was what it was and it had to get done, probably for school. He was in preschool at the time. I left that practice shortly after because he had something wrong with him that they weren't figuring out or curing with tea tree oil or some other holistic measure, I could never see his doctor, and I was fed up with the whole scene. 

Back to our own research. I learned a valuable life lesson. What research was I going to do, and where? The internet? The internet chock full of false information, information on any side of an argument I want to find? I realized- I'm not a doctor. I pick a doctor for a reason. I have to trust that doctor. Do doctors make mistakes? Sure. But generally speaking, they have more knowledge in their field than I do. And definitely more knowledge than the average person I went to high school with, that has ZERO higher education, who has spoken to NO doctors they actually know and trust, but getting their medical info from Dr. Internet. Or getting info from question quack doctors with shady reputations from the internet. Or from self appointed clergy somehow passing themselves off as some kind of medical gurus as well. 

Even if you don't trust doctors as a general rule- We're still in a freaking global pandemic. Even if you think people who are dying under the diagnosis of Covid had underlying causes that ultimately made the Covid more deadly to them or whatever conspiracy you're swallowing, you still can't dispute that 4.41 MILLION PEOPLE ARE DEAD worldwide and it's COVID RELATED. Covid adjacent. In some way, Covid responsible. Covid is in there SOMEWHERE. So wouldn't it stand to reason that you might trust science a little more than a pastor, priest, Candace Owens, Dr. Google, your chiropractor (NOT A DOCTOR. By the way, notice chiropractors are notoriously anti-vax for years. Might it be…because THEY CAN'T PRESCRIBE MEDS?? I love a good adjustment, but still not an infectious disease expert in any way, shape or form. #sorrynotsorry)? Dr. Google told my son his stomachache last month was cancer, so.... #itwasnt

It wasn't bad enough my son had to lose all the special things of fifth grade. Which, by extension, we lost as parents. Then, sixth grade had to suck. Now, we're going to go into seventh grade, which I thought was going to be more normal, only to have the Delta variant of the virus and who know what other mutation, because people had to do their own research or none at all. We have people not getting the vaccine AND refusing to mask. Hundreds of thousands of people are DEAD, but they're still calling it a hoax, not that bad, a government created scam, and I don't know what. As it's still decimating businesses, filling hospitals, and killing people. 

B and I got vaccinated in April. E is twelve and got vaccinated in June. We did what we were asked to do. What we felt was our civic duty to do. What was for us to be safe and for the greater good of all the people. I'm not mad that the vaccine didn't work. I'm angry that people have been so selfish, stupid, and short sighted that they didn't get it and now this thing has mutated and mutated to where what we did could possibly be practically useless. So, when I say, I don't care what happens to the unvaccinated, it seems callous and cold, but if everyone who could have gotten vaccinated did, as soon as they could have, we wouldn't be back to square one now. If they want to pissed at anyone that we're back to being asked or told to mask or being told to stay home again, they only have themselves to blame.

Speaking to those angry at being told or asked to mask again. I'm baffled by these people. I just watch their arguments. I don't feel I even need to get into it. I'm vaccinated. My kid is vaccinated. I have had two vaccinated friends who have tested positive recently. Breakthrough cases, as they're called. They've been sick, but they didn't need to go to the hospital and obviously haven't died. I feel like B, E and Me- we're vax'd - we won't die. So while I don't enjoy a mask, I've enjoyed not being sick of any kind until about three weeks ago, so if a mask kept sickness at bay, whatever, it's fine. We follow directions. If we're told to mask, we mask. If we don't have to, we don't. It's NOT THAT BIG A DEAL. I'd bet anyone, the KIDS don't care about wearing the masks. It's just the weirdo vigilante parents who have made it their pet cause.

However- when I'm watching their anti-mask crazy on social media, first, I want to ask when and where they got their doctorate. I don't know any of them to be any brighter than anyone else so I'm curious where the pulled this "it's their choice" out of their bunghole. No, no. It isn't really a choice. It's putting you, your kids, and other people at risk. I guess it's a choice, but it's a choice that affects others. Like smoking. Not like, it's my body, my choice, in terms of abortion which really only affects you and your family. Actually, NOT having abortions affects us all adversely. Because that's just more people, bigger carbon footprint, more money for resources needed, blah blah. But whatever. I'll stop on that one.

Second, for those with kids too young to vaccinate but still are anti-mask, you see the news, you see kids on ventilators. You see hospitals packed with kids now. Do you not believe your own eyes or ears? Do you just think your kids will magically escape it? Not get that sick? Not sure what the motivation is here. Like, what is worse about the mask than your kid on a vent in a hospital? Or with an illness that has unknown long term effects.

Lastly, some of these people I've seen all of a sudden vehemently anti-mask have never been political, or have opinions about anything of substance, at least publicly. I wouldn't even know if they vote because they've never posted or said anything either way. I'm fascinated, with all of the atrocities of the world- this, THIS, is the cause they decide to take up? One that doesn't even make any sense? I could see if they wanted to get all up in arms about Afghanistan....

The ones on Facebook though, putting up their lawn signs- At least give the reasons to back up why they're anti-mask. I haven't seen one good reason yet, that makes medical, parental, scientific, etc sense. I've seen "free the smiles" which is cute and all I guess. But I'm not really into freeing smiles at the expense of life. And again, I don't really care for my kid, personally. He's vaccinated! He's not going to die. He might get sick, which would suck. But he's most likely not going to end up on a vent in a hospital. At least at the moment, that we know. He has, from the medical information I've received, pretty decent protection. 

The rest of these kids- little ones and the ones his age with no vaccine- they have NOTHING. Except what they do have- parents who believe stuff like microchipping, magnetization, and other conspiracies putting them in harms way, on some kind of farkakte dipshit mission to free the freakin' smiles. Oh, I think I read one of the reasons was some BS about breathing their own carbon dioxide? #debunked #stillnotadoctor #noideawhaturtalkingabout

*I just scrolled by a Facebook article or newsbreak that they're protesting in Wayne, NJ. That it's not about the mask, it's about being forced, choices being taken away... I've also heard parents use the argument that the government doesn't know better than parents. Uh, yes, yes they do. Clearly. Just being a parent doesn't magically make you smart. I can tick off a list longer than most kids Christmas lists of dumb parents I know. Parents that shouldn't be able to decide what to give their kids for lunch let alone make medical decisions that affect their kids and other people's kids. It's a piece of cloth. Get over it.

This mega-maga-moron I know, who IS political online, let's call her Eva Braun, because that's who I picture when I see her write anything, literally wrote on someone else's Facebook page: "There is going to be such an increase in depression and social issues in all these kids who don't see smiles at all during the day. It's no joke". Well, asshat, guess what would REALLY cause an increase in depression in kids?? DEAD FRIENDS, FAMILY, TEACHERS!! JFC, I can't.

You know what? If your kid needs to see smiles so badly, send them to sleepaway camp. If you need a recommendation for one where they manage to make a maskless, Covid-free bubble for seven weeks, I have a great one for you...they can openly smile to their heart's content in another ten months. *Unlike the ones that had to CLOSE or after days or weeks due to staff shortages from the ripple effect of Covid or had COVID itself running through. 

The governor of NJ had to be responsible, as Covid cases are ramping up, and mandate masks for the start of school. People are furious and I've seen people I know ready to home school. They're angry and starting riots over keeping your children safe. Bye girl bye. You're on the wrong side of the debate. Someone is trying to keep your unvaccinated kids SAFE. Trying to keep immunocompromised kids safe. Immunocompromised parents safe.

Does someone need to hypnotize you with that information? Speak it in tongues? Get Tucker Carlson tied up and say it? WHAT??? What will get through to you? 

This isn't like trying to get you to like liver and onions. No one should like that. No one LIKES masks. It's just a necessary evil thanks you people in the first place who want to do your own research.  If you'd have gotten vaccinated in the first place - WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS. 

But please, go ahead and homeschool! I'm thrilled for you to take your unvaccinated kids out of the schools. And for you to have to see how very f'ing difficult it actually is to TEACH CHILDREN. You know you can't just hand them an iPad and call it a day, right? RIGHT?? Good luck to you. I'm sure your homeschool pod will be very bright considering this brain trust you're getting your information from.

Then there are the ones threatening to move out of Jersey to Florida - to DeathSantis's state. BYE. Don't let the door hit you in the ass. I mean, personally, I think Florida should fall into the ocean, but whatever. Feel free to move to that maskless bastion of stupid any time you're ready. We can use less congestion.

I JUST saw on Twitter some other putz write something like- I didn't get vaccinated because we don't know the long term effects of the vaccine. This was in response to a story about some unvaccinated conservative radio host in grave condition, asking for people to pray for a miracle.  *Update* He's dead now. No thoughts and prayers needed.

Well. Let's see. WE KNOW THE LONG TERM EFFECTS OF COVID CLEARLY COULD BE DEATH. So, which are you gambling with? I had the vaccine. So far, so good. No third boob. No extra horns outside the ones I was born with. 

So why did I write this? I don't know. I know I'm not changing any minds. I just had to get it out I guess. Instead of yelling at people in the shower. Or yelling at them on Facebook. I get to say whatever I want here and I don't have to take any comments.  Darwinism will take care of the rest. 

And if instead, you need someone to be nice and stroke your hair as an appeal to you, which I apparently can't do, listen to this lady. She's nicer than I am. 

Or you can read this one and see how doctors are feeling at this point - because this is how they deserve to feel.

Sure, if you don't want to get vaccinated, wear a mask, or have your kids wear masks, that's your "right". Just don't cite science, FOX News talking heads, Facebook research, and freeing the smiles as why. Come up with something....real.

 

Read here what scared Governor Abbott, who consistently downplayed Covid did once HE tested positive. Oh the hypocrisy…

Read here about South Carolina Republican leader who spread coronavirus conspiracy theories. He's dead now. 

Texas GOP leader- he's dead too. 

Young, unvaccinated father- 36, dead, with no underlying conditions. #waytogoAlabama

A horror scene....

Ladies Who Lunch

 

Lunching is such a funny concept to me. I'm sure most people don't even think much about lunch. Yet, it's been a huge topic in our house. From it causing a problematic work dynamic in family business to sheer impatience on in both B and my lives, it never seems to be just lunch or just food, which, luckily, he and I wish it WOULD be. 

Let me explain. B for work related reasons never felt he had time to "take a lunch". He was working. That meant real work. He worked with men of a certain age though, who were used to the whole leisurely lunch regime. The whole daily, out to lunch at a fine restaurant thing. It made him crazy. He just wanted to shove something down, in his own words, and get back to doing what he had to do. 

Before I got engaged/married, I'd worked in offices where you had to take a "lunch hour" but I wasn't going to restaurants. I was never a huge lunch eater. I was a pb&j girl. Or when I worked in the city, I'd get a salad and eat by myself in Union Square just to get out of the office. I didn't really have friends at work because it was a bizarre place, so lunch wasn't a social thing. At least for me, it wasn't.

When I went to work with B, it was in retail. In retail, you don't know when someone is coming in. There is no lunch hour. You graze. You eat when you have a minute. Guaranteed, the second you put anything in your mouth, someone walks in anyway. You learn to eat fast. On the go. 

I also have a mindset where the day is for doing. Maybe living in unpredictable-short-window-of-good-outdoor-weather-NJ has done this to me, my general inherent demeanor of impatience, and personal priority list also accounts for this. I'm just not taking time out of the day to be a lady who lunches. I do not want to sit somewhere eating, in the middle of the day. It also feels....heavy to me. I know that's backwards because in other countries they eat their big meal of the day at lunch and eat heavy at dinner but I don't know. I don't want to eat MEALS during the day. 

Not that I have to explain this. These thoughts about lunches just stem from the entirely craptastic weather we've had here almost all of July, when it was supposed to be Summer of Tara. When I would typically be at the town pool for as many hours as possible, and I felt trapped in my house due to heavy clouds, stifling humidity and near torrential rain for weeks on end. Any day the sun has peeked through I've pretty much dropped everything to be at the pool. I mean literally. If that means, left kitchen cabinets open, blueberries open on the counter, and mail strewn about like someone ransacked our house, then so be it. 

My friend sent her kid to sleepaway camp with mine for the second session. I imagined three weeks filled with pool days while her other kid was at day camp. However, she lined up a ton of lunches. She asked me if she could take me to lunch for my birthday. I was like, no, thanks, love ya, but I don't want to go lunching anywhere, I just want to casually hang at the pool. I'll graze some food throughout the day and I'm all good.

It got me thinking though, B and I always talk about the lunches and how we're probably the only people who aren't into lunching. My friend says she lunches in the summer because she teaches and can't ever do it during the school year. It's her way of catching up. I think for B and I, if we were to be psychoanalyzed or something, there's something confining about an organized lunch that we don't like. 

Now that I'm sitting here ruminating on it, this is what I'm coming up with. Even if it's a friend and we really like the person. I don't know why, but walking with someone and catching up or sitting at the pool with them is so much more appealing to me than making a lunch date. I can't imagine being busy, stopping what I'm doing to go somewhere for lunch, then having to go back to what I was doing. For him, it's probably more about work and all the things he's not getting done. For me, that's probably true also. At least during winter months, when I'm doing work, I don't want to have to be pinned down to a time to eat when I'm probably not even hungry. 

We don't do a family meal, of which I don't even really understand the concept. Well, I do understand why people do it. People don't want to be the whole short order cook thing. And eating together is a nice Leave it Beaver moment if you can do it. There are only three of us, so it's not like I'm doing six different meals or whatever. It's not even like I'm the responsible for everyone's food. We may eat all together, and we do sometimes. More like E and I, because we like to or have to eat early and we watch General Hospital. I just don't know what I want to eat until it's around dinnertime. E eats like five things. I can't imagine just choosing something for all three of us and being like- well, this is what we're eating, whether you want it or not, because I made it. I make and freeze things individually for E. I buy pre-made or frozen sides. He can put his own meal together from what's there. I have my own things to choose from. B doesn't like to eat as early as we do though, nor should he be forced to do so. He has his own foods he likes that E and I don't. So we're all eating, sometimes together, sometimes not, just also not the same things. Again- not wanting to be pinned down to something. 

I also don't want to make lunch plans to go to a restaurant with you at one o'clock on a Tuesday because it feels like a huge commitment to just sit there. I guess when I'm walking and talking or sitting at the pool, I'm multitasking. I'm either getting exercise and socializing or tanning and socializing in. It's like talking on the phone- I don't want to do that either. I can't do anything else if I'm talking. I can watch TV and text, work and text. Sitting for lunch I think feels like a trap. B gets it. Luckily, no one is asking me to lunch. It just means I'm probably sitting alone at the pool until Kate and everyone else is done with their lunching. 

My favorite days, hands down, are when I get to the pool at eleven, and different groups of my people come in and out all day, and next thing I know, it's five o'clock and we don't know where the time went. We've had great conversation and belly laughs and it's as B called it to friends last night, my version of still being on the college quad. Probably because I know, all too soon, we'll all be back in our houses, in the cold of our autumn, winter, spring, under gray skies, where hanging out isn't just organic. Where you have to make the plans to see the people. Where you can't just drive by the pool and come in, fall into the K-Hole when you only meant to stay for a few minutes, because you saw my car in the parking lot. For three seasons out of our year here, school, work, and our kids schedules keep us so busy it's hard to even see anyone ever. I know I don't see most people I know in town until Memorial Day weekend at the town pool.

Summer is that special time, in this special place, where no one has to make the plans.We all just sort of, end up here, and don't need a plan. And I guess that's what I like about it. This little window of unscheduled time in an overscheduled life. Where no one is responsible for the planning or execution of ANYTHING. And it's just such a short time we get, I'm willing to drop everything, at any given moment to grab even an hour of it. 

Boho Chic

 

You know when you see someone and you're like, "I totally want to look like her"? Not, necessarily like, be her twin or whatever, but you see someone and they always just look, put together? Or not just one person but you see people, and they're dressed. In actual outfits. Not just leggings and hoodies, or whatever mishmash came off the floor in a rush to do whatever errand had to be done. They're doing errands too, or just dropping kids off at school, and they aren't necessarily dressed UP, but they have a look. Somehow, they look like they curated their look vs playing eenie meenie miney moe with their eyes closed. They also don't look like they're always possibly headed to a gym, but not.

For example, the mom of the kids E babysits for. She has that look. If you asked her, she'd shoo you away and say you're crazy, this old thing, she just threw it together. But she never LOOKS LIKE SHE MEANS THAT. She doesn't look like she spent hours thinking about it, at all, but she never looks like a slob. What she looks like, is someone who literally walked off the pages of the Free People catalog. I'll get a picture with her permission sometime. You'll see what I mean.

Now, that Free People boho chic may not be your taste, or even mine. I don't know know if that is my style. I look at it and I like it, but I also feel like you have to have a certain body type to carry it off, like anything else. I don't have a style. That's the point. B did see glittery, platform, sort of ridiculous, Alexander McQueen sneakers the other night in the mall, that he had no idea were probably around $700, and said, in mock horror, "You're going to be wearing those when we're eighty and at the 4:30 dinner special, aren't you?". And I can't say that he's totally wrong. I mean, I won't be wearing $700 sneakers, ever. I may be wearing some brand of glittery platforms though. I know I have the potential for that style. The more glitter, the better. That's my motto. That's probably also a Leo thing.

 

In my mind, I'm a style covet-er. I see styles and I want to inhabit them. I just can't see that they're all wrong for me until I'm knee deep in receipts for stuff I should've never purchased in the first place. Then I'm yelling at myself because I should know better. 

This is also why I sell on Poshmark. Because over the years, I see someone like Kara, the mom of the kids E babysits for, and I'm like, "ooh, that's such a cool look". I buy stuff that looks similar, and it's all wrong for me. Or, remember when scarves were a big thing in the early 2000's. Everyone was wearing scarves. I was working in NYC on Park Ave then. I thought I would get in on that scarf thing. Guess what? Scarves are f'ing itchy. All of them. Bulky. Just a giant pain. I would see a tall gazelle-like woman wearing a pea coat, scarf, tall boots. Picture Carolyn Bessette Kennedy. Or...Gisele Bundchen. Except I'm not them. I don't have a sleek, chic, sophisticated bun. I have a messy Jew-fro where I can't tame the sides and look like I haven't washed it in a week. And maybe I haven't. #dontjudge 

 

 

Then, I end up having a closet full of ridiculous things, or not ridiculous things, but things that look ridiculous on me. I saw my friend Julie wearing the cutest James Perse jumpsuit with low top Converse sneakers. She looked adorable. I get a similar jumpsuit and look like a baby elephant. I'm not saying I'm even huge or anything. It's just that I can't seem to see the difference between appreciating these looks on someone else and realizing before buying they aren't for me. If I could, I'd be saving a lot of money and disappointment. 

Hats- same thing. Kara comes into the pool with her big floppy hat. Adorable. My friend Alex has a cool Fedora type hat to shield her from the sun on the beach. Jen- I'm pretty sure she likes a snazzy visor. I got a hat. Well. Lets just say, I tried to drive with it on. When you're not used to a wide brim floppy hat, you SHOULD NOT DRIVE WITH IT ON. I'm lucky I didn't kill anyone. I turned my head, the hat fell over my eyes and it was mayhem. Driving with no eyes is not recommended. Also, like the scarves- the hats are hot. Head = sweaty. Not good! It doesn't feel natural! Hats are bullshit! 

You'd think by my late forties I'd know what looks good and just stick to that. I just can't seem to have style envy though. I still have the will and desire to try things out that I know are going to go right to my for sale pile. I guess I should just be thankful I have an avenue to recoup my losses. 

For the record, now that I'm not physically going into a place of business daily, I think my style coveting days may really be over. I'm still never going to own anything beige. There's going to be color and fun in my everyday look. I just bought a bunch of sweatshirts at PINK with matching leggings. THAT, my friends, might be the style I've settled into for my middle age years. 

Summer of Tara

 

Summer of Tara, as I like to call all of summer...was supposed to begin, you know, when school ends, the pool opens, and life can slow down a bit. Oh, and I can get a tan. Yet, Summer of Tara was difficult to begin when we had the worst weather since like 1907 or something like that. Now, you might say- well, in light of all the sickness and death over the past year, is a little rain a real hardship? Well, yeah. Considering all we've been through? I want to say, why yes, it wasn't just a little rain. It was just more shit not to be smiling about. 

I don't want to be a downer so we'll talk about some good stuff. 

E had a banner academic year amidst this crap sandwich of an introduction to middle school. We sort of expect middle school to suck, right? It had it's suck factor, of typical middle school BS, coupled with Covid protocol. But we didn't get sick, he didn't get sick. And really if I have to be honest, academically, for a kid that isn't the best at sitting at a desk for hours on end every day, being home every other day to work at his own pace, wasn't the worst thing. He'd work, drum a little, work, piano a bit, work, ukulele some, work watch Dawson's Creek. I'm pretty proud that not only did he end up on the honor roll for three out four marking periods but he also watched almost all six seasons of Dawson's Creek. He only didn't finish because he said the last season started to get boring. I can't even argue with him because I didn't even watch the whole last season myself. His pop culture education is SPOT THE F ON though.

E also counted down the days to getting to Maine for his seven weeks at Camp Wekeela. We were able to get three of his local friends to go for the second session. Which, considering being locked in the house, on screens for months, not being ideal for any parents or kids, wasn't really that difficult to convince the parents that these kids needed time away, with no internet, gaming, texting, etc. They're all still there now for about another week and a half. 

Unfortunately, I'm not really looking forward to him coming home. Not because I don't miss him. More so because Covid is ramping up AGAIN. While HE is has been vaccinated since June, and B and I have been vaccinated since April, the Delta variant is no joke. My friend who is vaccinated recently got it and said it was awful. She said she's thankful she's vaccinated because it could've been so much worse, but she still was scared, really sick. and worried for her kids who are too young to be vaccinated, and her PETS, who she was told that also could get it. It was a really difficult time. 

Of course, I'm worried and I'm angry that we've done what we were supposed to do, but other people are refusing, this shit is still spreading, yet, they still want to unmask everyone like it's over or like they're just over it. Now. if only the virus would attack the stupid, defiant, and selfish, that would be fine. Except, it isn't. It's random. And that sucks. I'm just not going to go on about that in this entry. I'm going to actually write a list of the stupidity I've seen and then debunk it all in another one.

We haven't been down the shore much at all, mostly because of the weather. Usually we'd go down one day a weekend, but, rain. We've really just stayed close to home. It's just easier and we're just tired. B has had to run around a lot because we have a an Extreme Karen neighbor who ratted him out for working at home during the pandemic. Apparently that's not allowed in our town, well, when someone complains. Meaning, people do it to the point of advertising in our local Facebook groups, HOWEVER, if someone complains, you're SOL, and you're shut down or fined. We obviously opted to shut down because we weren't in the position to pay fines, DURING A PANDEMIC, so B opted for plan Z, and found an outside space to work from. It just means a lot more running around. There were some positives of Extreme Karen having nothing better to do, one of which being, E getting creative. He wrote a song, Queen of the Boulevard about her and the situation. Since I'm his Momager, I will have him play it on our front lawn when he gets back from camp. Especially considering Karen likes to walk in front of my house on her Starbucks route. 

We'll go back down the shore when E gets home. It's just a lot more fun when we can take a friend of his with us. He's at that age that he isn't that interested in being with just us, and we're not that interested in hanging with a kid that doesn't want to hang with us. I remember being twelve and only wanting to hang with my friends. He also is doing a short theater camp at Curtain Up, the company he did Aladdin through. They're doing The Addams Family. He has so long between Wekeela and school starting, I wasn't having him sit around for a month. 

I have no other real news. This was more just an update to get myself back here. I also didn't want to start with a giant rant. Because you know, I've said, that's partially why I stopped writing. I was ranting all the time. Or I wanted to rant. I also don't really have the time. I'm not at a desk anymore. I used to write when I sat at a desk. Today. I actually took my laptop to the POOL. But I can barely see because of the glare. Not because I'm turning a year older on Monday. Although, I'm thinking I may need to see an eye doctor too. 

It's a gorgeous, perfect ten day today though and I feel like I'm making weird tan lines on my legs with the laptop on them. I'll end here, being thankful AF that the town pool is open this summer. I was clearly the angriest person in Glen Rock last summer without my favorite spot. I'm thankful for the Wednesday late night here. Thankful that I ran into mom friends and acquaintances I haven't seen in two summers, one new old friend or old new friend that I haven't seen in like fifteen years, and that I'm back at my perch at the second umbrella, usually surrounded by my people. You know who you are.

Impeachment Groundhog Day

 

It's impeachment Groundhog Day. Except this time with ten republicans on board. Nice to see there's some kind of needle move on decency. Sad there's only ten, but I'll take ten over none.

I don't want to write about politics. But I chose to start writing again before January 20th, when Joe Biden is going to be sworn in as the 46th POTUS, and of course, there's still insanity and lunacy going on in the last days of 45's presidency. I feel like I have to say something. I can't just ignore it and write about pies and cakes.

I don't know why I thought things would calm down in the last days. It must have just been wishful thinking. Now we have to worry about about more violence and insurrection. Insurrection, a word I never even thought we'd have to utter in this lifetime, yet, that's where we are. 

Whether I wanted to or not, I listened to almost the whole House of Representatives debate and vote of whether to impeach 45 for a second time. I was watching something, as I was working, and next thing I know, that was interrupted for the debate. I listed to all the speeches, for better or worse. 

I'll say this. I was doing work, so I couldn't just watch, eyes glued to the TV. Weirdly, at least on ABC, while these politicians were speaking, with masks on, at the bottom, they only posted the name of who was speaking for like a hot second, then, it just said, something like "House speeches for impeachment". So I'd hear some complete lie or lunacy, look up, and have no idea who was speaking. So when I say, "some guy from somewhere", it's not because I'm a moron, it's because, I couldn't tell who was speaking. 

I will say- there was one republican from North Carolina, I think, who made the most honest and noteworthy statement of every single word said. He said something like- What the president did was wrong. I am voting against impeachment because I have to go home and appeal to my base. Democrats, you're going to vote for impeachment because you have to go home and appeal to your base. But we all need to start working together. Or something like that. At least he was telling his truth- he was basically saying- we all do what we have to do to stay in office. He didn't just stand up there and make stuff up like some of these other people. I would have respected any of them more if they just even said- Hey, I'm not here to talk about my personal feelings. I'm a representative. I'm representing the people of XYZ. I know what they want and they don't support impeachment. Therefore I'm voting against impeachment.

I was going to quote Tod from Parenthood, when he goes into that whole thing about needing a license for a car, boat, etc. but any asshole could be a father, and just change it to be an elected politician. Which is all true, but the actual quote is now a little politically incorrect, so I'm leaving it out. You can get the gist of what I mean. My point is, listening to some of these representatives speak, it's clear that you don't even have to be particularly bright to be a representative for your state. You don't even have to be truthful. You can just full on stand up and lie.

That's why, here we are, regular people, wondering during the past four years, where are the parents, or just the adults, or the people smarter than the rest of us average Joe's, expecting something of these elected officials that they just....aren't. They are just regular people. Regular people, some of which who don't even know the definition of current buzzwords or phrases like defund the police. One representative, Old White Man, I can't tell you who, masked up and no name I could see, started yelling about how the democrats in there didn't want to defund the police when they were scared on January 6th. Well, duh. Because defund the police NEVER MEANT GET RID OF THE POLICE. If you're going to rail against something, publicly, shouldn't you know what it means? 

The House voted for impeachment, 232 to 197. It's amazing that it wasn't unanimous. The really amazing thing to me were some of the speeches in the debate. I wish I knew who some of these people were. These are supposed to be the adults in charge and they were just making things up. We heard 45 with our own ears and saw him with our own eyes. Not just the day before or the day of the violence on January 6th. We heard Giuliani, Don Jr, and the rest of his cronies. We saw the tweets. We heard the lies. We heard 45 continue to say he won the election when he didn't. We know he didn't call for help when the domestic terrorists infiltrated the Capitol building. We know he didn't say a word to stop it. We know he still hasn't said a word about the death about fallen police officer Brian Sicnick at the hands of those insurrectionists, who happens to have also been a Trump supporter. He did his job that day, to safeguard the representatives in the Capitol building, no matter his personal politics, and he got killed for it. We know 45 hasn't reached out to the family. 

So for all the reTrumpliclowns in the House indignantly crying hypocrisy or the people on social media crying hypocrisy and conspiracy, I haven't heard a word against him for him not acknowledging the officer's death. I thought this was the party of law and order. Of respecting law enforcement. Most of the republicans in the House yelling about the "whataboutness" of BLM vs the disgrace of January 6th, needing a new "whataboutheremails" don't see any difference in comparing protest over murder and oppression vs the violence perpetrated due to the cult mentality for the purpose of supporting false allegations about a stolen election. They were pledging allegiance to a man over country. I don't know how many times I have to say that. THAT, is a huge problem. It's not the what, it's the WHY. No, violence is never a "good" thing. But you can't compare people protesting years murder and oppression to our PRESIDENT, the highest position in all of the world, inciting violence against our OWN COUNTRY. 

Sure, that's what they were debating. Whether his words were the catalyst for the behavior. They were trying to play semantics, being literal, saying that this was planned by the insurrectionists, before 45's speech. Does it need to be explained that it was a cumulative effect? That all the tweets, all the rallies, all the speeches, all the rhetoric, over the past four years, were just inches on a long wick to a bomb, and the words that day, was the actual detonation. He riled, riled, riled, and then set them free with the last words. Yes, it was planned. But he stoked the flamed and then threw the final logs on the fire. Bin Laden DIDN'T ACTUALLY FLY THE PLANES EITHER. Those standing up for him in the House were just being deliberately obtuse, stupid, and/or pandering to their bases. I think it's actually all three. 

I wish I knew exactly who was speaking every time - at least who I was yelling at on the TV. There was one guy from Florida, I just saw on the news it was Matt Gaetz, who definitely doesn't belong representing anything except a number behind bars. Because if he rises up in politics in any real way, he'll be just as horrifying as 45. Maybe worse because he has that beguiling good head of hair and doesn’t look like he eats chicken by the bucket on a daily basis. He can get votes on the superficial. That guy is unhinged, dangerous, and a straight up history rewriter. I loathe that guy. 

GOP Rep Doug LaMalfa just spewed crazy after crazy. He might have been the one where I looked up because I heard him tout the president as pro-life. Like that's really a thing. I mean, if you're going to use made up stuff about him, pick something that's not totally laughable. It's like calling him a Christian and expecting someone to take you seriously. 

There were so many adamant liars up there. I could only tell that most of them were either old and white or young and white guys. You know, the country club, frat boy bystanders in The Accused kind of look. 

It's embarrassing how many representatives were too afraid to stand up for what is right and vote for impeachment. Or just doubled down to pander to their, or 45's base. They'll have to live with that. We all saw it and we'll all remember.

I just don't know how anyone can still defend his doing NOTHING on and since January 6th. Nevermind doing NOTHING about the coronavirus for months, when every single day, on World News Tonight, it's been the deadliest day yet. I don't CARE if you don't BELIEVE it has been. There are FACTS and what you believe. And all 45 has cared about is himself. It's so bizarre to me to still support the guy who clearly only cares about himself. I GET why the elected politicians are afraid to break with him. They have careers to think about. They have death threats to contend with. But the average person, still having to worry about Covid, the economy a mess, and the threat of violence looming all over the country with no one seeming to take the wheel, has absolutely NO REASON whatsoever to still support him besides brainwashing. 

If you're about to excuse 45 at all, keep repeating to yourself: The POTUS did not thing to stop what happened on January 6th. He did nothing to help during it. He did nothing while insurrectionists chanted to HANG his vice president. Can you imagine this having happened between Obama and Biden??? It took him days to lower flags for a fallen officer. He still refuses to concede. He's not sorry for anything he said against the insurrection and the people who committed it. 

That's it. E asked me during dinner- When Biden takes office, are we still going to have to watch the news every night? We have a lot of General Hospital to watch." 

I hope not, E. I hope not. 

And She Baked Us a Pie

 I follow Busy Philipps on Instagram. I like her. She just moved her family from LA to NYC before the holidays. She posted that she had the best pie in all of the land and she got it from the Little Pie Company in NYC. She described this pie as a sour cream apple pie with a walnut crust. I was sold at sour cream.

 Back in my Hoboken hang out days, I used to go to Frozen Monkey on Washington St and they had mini sour cream apple pies that were amazing. They'd put Tasti d'lite on top of it and it was heaven. Then Frozen Monkey went out of business, no more sour cream apple pies, and my heart was broken.

I've been on a sour cream kick lately. I also bought myself a griddle, if you can believe that. All because of sour cream. Because at some point in middle school, Adrienne O'Reilly had a sleepover, and her mom made us sour cream pancakes in the morning for breakfast. They were the best pancakes I've ever had in my life. I'd never had sour cream pancakes again after that, because, well, Rita was not making pancakes. But I'd thought of these pancakes sporadically over the years. 

I found this recipe for sour cream pancakes and I decided I had to make them. Truth be told, if Covid wasn't a thing, and I could just hang with my friend, I'd be begging Alex to make them for me. But alas, Covid IS a thing, so I knew I had to just suck it up and make them myself if I wanted them. 

Well, of course, it was a ginormous mess. I wasn't prepared with the correct accoutrements. I have a griddle pan, but I don't know, it seems like my stove top is not level. So the butter doesn't spread evenly over the pan, there isn't enough room on the pan, there isn't enough counter space, getting the batter on without it getting everywhere is a thing. It's just, a lot. They tasted great, but I never wanted to do it again. The clean-up also blew.

I decided I needed a real griddle. But what to get. I googled "best griddle 2020". I got this Hamilton Beach 3-n-1 Electric Griddle + Grill. It was relatively inexpensive, the plates turn over from griddle to grill and you can use either side or both. Sounded good to me. 

It came so I wanted to try it out. I also got this pancake batter dispenser thing, which I've already used like three times. It's fantastic. I'm so glad I sprung for the metal one instead of another of the crappy plastic one I already had that broke. I used it to do the pancakes but I also used it for cupcake batter to fill the cupcakes tins, AND I used it for this walnut filling for cookies. 

*Don't ask why the F I'm doing all this baking. F'ing winter Covid in NJ. What else am I supposed to be doing? 

The griddle was much easier to use for the pancakes than the stove. I could make like eight or nine pancakes at a time. It went much faster. The griddle also has degrees on it and in the little manual it tells you what degree to put it on to cook certain things. That is helpful to a kitchen disaster such as myself. 

I put it on my kitchen table, I had all my accoutrements, put on Dr. Phil and was all set. Made the pancakes and put them away for New Years Eve morning so I wouldn't have to make anything then. 

As an aside, it figures, we were just the three of us, because, you know, Covid. And we FORGOT, that Howard Stern calls fans on New Years Eve. THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN THE PERFECT ONE TO TRY TO GET A CALL. 

But back to my pie. So Busy Philipps posted this pie and I had to have it. So some time before New Years Eve I saw I could order it online. The first available delivery date was January 6th. I didn't care. That's what I took. It came Wednesday, as expected, and it's perfection. I expected it to be, but once I told my friend Cohen that I ordered from there and she gave them the seal of approval, I knew it was going to be good. As a foodie, Cohen is a tough customer. I am not a foodie, but I am a dessert connoisseur and it would've sucked if the pie sucked. 

 

I'm going to admit, it was expensive AF to have this pie delivered. It would've been $38 to go get the pie in NYC. I don't know if that's normal for a pie. Seems kind of high, but, NYC. I've paid that for a cake, so that didn't throw me. To have it delivered from Goldbelly, it is $69. But, if I drove there and parked, who says I wouldn't be looking at around the same in gas, tolls, and parking? AND, what else do I have right now? We didn't do anything for New Years Eve. If there wasn't Covid, we would've had the Mays here, possibly the Cunninghams, if they weren't doing something else. I would've had to buy food, alcohol, etc. Instead, I bought myself some Hebrew National pigs in a blanket, a shrimp cocktail platter from Costco, and I ORDERED A SIXTY-NINE DOLLAR PIE. Suck it 2020. 

So if you're into pie, or just want to feel a little decadent for a minute when UPS hands you a pie, then this is where you want it from. I highly recommend. Told you I'd get back to frivolous. 

*Again, ignore spelling issues. Blogger stole the spell check or hid it.

Four Years

 

This is the first day I have felt I have been really able to write in four years. I've written. But I haven't WRITTEN. I've written things, often passionately. But I haven't written in the way this blog was meant to be written. 

Obviously, we're meant to evolve and grow. When I first started writing, E was little, my world was different, my priorities and lifestyle were different, so the things I was writing about were just different. Even my audience was different. However, a lot of what I used to write about were life hacks, reviews of products, places and services, and even I'd say, more frivolous things. Fun, but definitely more frivolous. I still plan to do that. Hell, I WANT to be able to be in a head space where I can think about frivolous things. Which is what I'm basically trying to say. I haven't felt like I could write about...the banal life hacks of frozen pb&j when I felt the world was crashing down around me on a daily basis. 

Now, do I think that a new President, Vice President, and an 50/50 Senate is a cure all for all the world's ills? No. Of course not. But do I think we're going to have some relief from the almost neverending feeling that we're living daily in that nightmare of being chased, not being able to get away, but also not being able to wake up from it? You know that nightmare everyone has- being chased but your legs are like lead and you can't get away... Yes. I feel like I can breathe. I feel like I have finally woken up from a four year nightmare. 

I didn't write the day after the 2020 election, even though it appeared the Dems won. I didn't write when it was finally called "for real". I didn't write yesterday when I heard about Warnock and Ossoff winning in Georgia. Because I still, even though I was being TOLD, by every legit news source, and yes, I consider CNN/MSNBC and my man Bill Ritter on ABC Eyewitness News to be legit, that Trump lost, I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop somehow. I've just become so accustomed to the inmates running the asylum so to speak. I've become accustomed to Trump getting away with everything. To his cronies being pardoned. To Trumps lies being perpetuated. To his Republican enablers in the senate stroking his hair for their own agenda and letting our democracy be hammered away at day by day, lie by lie. 

But today I can write. Because today is a new day. Yesterday, January 6th, 2020, was a bittersweet day, burned into our brains forever. It was a day of victory in Georgia, where a black man, and a Jewish man, democrats, for the first time became senators, over their republican incumbents, in a ruby red state. I got to be happy about that for about a half hour before I got texted, "Did you SEE what's going on in DC??" Um, no. I went to the supermarket after alien turtles took over Mitch McConnell's body and he gave the Senate speech of his life. 

So, on the flip side of Georgia, we have what most will say is the biggest stain on the country's history. Thugs disguised as self-proclaimed patriots stormed the Capitol Building at the President of the United States urging, to protest his loss of a free and fair presidential election. An extremely large, angry mob of minions, desecrated the very flag they hypocritically bitched over people in peaceful protest just taking a quiet knee to, throwing it off scaffolding, to replace it with their narcissistic deluded king's flag emblazoned with his name. All while they broke windows, taking over the Capitol by force, breaking into offices, rifling through drawers, taking selfies, and putting up a noose on a structure they left on the Capitol grounds. The President sat, in the Oval, doing nothing. After he called for this violence, thus committing treason- however someone wants to excuse it for whatever reason. When he finally did speak, his words to the rioters were that he loved them, they're special, and that they should go home. 

We all know what would happen if this was BLM storming the Capitol. There would've been four hundred dead or four thousand dead, not four. By the way- if you're trying to compare BLM protests where oppressed people were expressing anger over innocent people getting murdered by police with no justice to delusional privileged white people rioting and taking over the Capitol Building, pledging allegiance to a man over country, over not liking the outcome of the election- you're also delusional. So, bye girl, bye. You don't have to read here, and not sure why you are.

I saw some people on social media say things like- "we need to all get along". Or "this is on both sides". One person, who, I once loved, I once respected, I saw was actually THERE, at the Trump rally in DC, posted, with photos, saying it was the largest crowd he ever saw. Posting like it was just a normal Wednesday. Someone he knows posted a somewhat disapproving comment on the photos and the words from him or about him from someone else came up - I'm/he's "not political". Same for those with the kumbayah feelings of we should all just play nice. They want to think they're not political. Or that saying that we all need to be kinder isn't political. Guess what folks, IT IS. 

How is telling people to be kinder, that it's both sides, political? It's privilege. You can only say you're not political, you don't talk politics, you don't pay attention to politics, when you don't have anything to lose. When it's a choice for you. When politics doesn't determine any outcomes for your life, for your business, or whether it means the difference between life or death. When you're going to be okay no matter who is making laws. When holocaust is just something in history books to you, 

Sure, you can think it's both sides when you're not on one of the sides feeling the pain. When it's not even a thought in your MIND, to have to tell your child before they leave the house, what they can and can't wear, how to show their hands, how to speak, etc so they don't get shot by police. When it's not a discussion to have to explain to your three year old why his preschool has a constant police presence because someone is throwing Molotov cocktails into windows of schools like his just because of your religion. Why you have to explain the games the gov't plays with peoples lives is why you're on a food line. Why you have to explain to your child why they can't get the medical/school/psychological services or why they can't use a bathroom they desperately need because some lawmakers decided it goes against THEIR religious beliefs. I could go on and on. 

If you really want to be non-political, then be non-political and shut it. Just don't say anything then. Don't sit high upon your horse and tell other people to play nice. Just stay in your lane, show whatever lovely version of your life you want people to see, post about your dinner, possessions, and vacations or whatever on social media and go about your business. Let the rest of the people talk the talk and walk the walk. Otherwise, if you're going to put it out there then, expect those who do walk the walk, or know what it's like to be in the crosshairs of any of the grotesque isms and phobias that Trump emboldened over the past four years- racism, antisemitism, xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia, or affected by life loss or business loss due to covid, to push back to your kumbayah. Not everyone has to be an activist, but no one cares about your armchair quarterbacking either. Save it. Or have skin thick enough to take the heat. 

If you really want people to learn how to get along, maybe try to figure out where those are pushing back are coming from. At least educate yourself that the whole "can't we all get along" and "it's both sides" rhetoric is rooted in white supremacy speak. It minimizes the role race plays in society. History tells us that this is a nation that empowers white supremacists and, periodically, groups of white people leverage that power to target, harass, discriminate against, and murder minorities, not the other way around. Trump ushered in a new era of white people leveraging their power to target, harass, discriminate against, and murder minorities. Those same people were allowed to breach the Capitol. Don't just double down, insisting you're right when people are trying to explain from their place of hurt.

So, here are my final thoughts on all the current mishegoss. It was a horrible four years. I've had to face really difficult and ugly truths about people I once really cared about. I've spent days angry and lashing out at people I've known forty years and at strangers online. I've felt rage and sadness I've never felt before in my life. 

However,  I'll try to look it at it this way...Maybe we needed it. The orange clown pulled back the curtain on Oz so to speak. He showed us every loophole, every shady way to deal, every technically legal way to be an outlaw in the highest office of the land with the most power. He exposed every danger when a madman is given the keys to the kingdom. So now we have the power to fix things if we so choose. We almost don't have a choice now that it's all out there. We know who has blood on their hands. We also know that elected officials aren't anything special. Just like celebrities, they put their pants on one leg at a time like anyone else and they can be just as dumb or cuckoo as the next guy. They don't even necessarily have to be educated, and even the educated ones can be dumb. We can do better. Now we know that instead of caring about Kim and Kanye, we can care more about how the Electoral Collage works. Or we can care about both. I guarantee most people didn't even know how the Electoral vote finalizing really worked until yesterday. Clearly, our own president didn't, nor a handful of senators and congressmen. 

We can do better. Today is the start to that hope. I'm going to remain optimistic because that's all I can do. At least today. I deserve today and I'm taking it. Four years was enough misery and anger for me. I just feel like I can finally be on the way to reclaiming part of who I used to be again. I can concurrently teach my kid how to be an activist and, continue to loudly stand up for what's right, walking the walk, while still giving life hacks, tell you I found leggings and pie that I love, and throw in some reality tv for good measure now. I even washed my hair. It's a start. 

I'm looking forward to some time with Sleepy Joe vs stomach churning presidential lunacy taking over the daily news cycle.

*Please excuse any grammar or spelling issues. Blogger took away the spell check or they hid it, I don't know. I tried YouTube for help but I can't sit through videos for that.