Three Minutes to Wapner

I should probably name this entry, "Issues for a brand shopper". Though, one might think I'm talking about luxury brands like Gucci or Fendi. However, I'm talking more like Dickinson's and Pepperidge Farms. Don't know what Dickinson's is, you say? Oh, it's the brand name of the only jelly worth eating on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It's Seedless Black Raspberry to be exact. If you could ask Rita, she'd agree. It's not only brands though. It's stores, companies...specific products, I'm talking about.

I'm routined. Rita called it rigid. As in, "You and your Aunt Barbara are so rigid!", as she was probably over an hour late to meet me. I just like my stuff. MY STUFF.

I could eat the same lunch or dinner every day for years. I *have*.  You'd think this would make life easy, but it doesn't. It makes life exhausting. What happens when items are discontinued??? I'm at a total loss. I think I seem to feel it more than other people. Or other people just aren't talking about it. I get to the point of writing angry letters to the companies. Some times they answer, sometimes they don't. Whether they do or don't, the items never seem to find their way back to the shelves and I'm screwed.

Entenmann's used to make the best cake- "Chocolate Chip Filled Crumb Cake". It was like a vanilla chocolate chip cake in two layers with this light fluffy chocolate in the middle. I'm not even a chocolate person but it wasn't too rich or heavy. It was amazing. I'd always stop and grab one to bring to someone's house if I didn't have time to make brownies or whatever. Then, one day- GONE. I angrily wrote Entenmann's. They were #sorrynotsorry and just sent me a coupon for something else. Like the crappy chocolate chip cake they put out in it's place. NOT THE SAME THING. Even the person I stole this photo from online called it "sex cake".

B didn't know this until yesterday, when we were discussing my Skinny Cow chocolate and caramel Divines being discontinued, that I haven't eaten peanut butter & jelly in two years, since my bread was discontinued. He said- "Well, how did you find the first bread? Can't you taste other breads and find a new one?". No, no I canNOT. It's not the same.

I wrote to Nestle asking about the chocolates. The rep who answered told me- "Oh, yeah, they've been retired. Please enjoy our frozen treats". Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I don't want to enjoy your frozen treats a-hole! 


I know this probably sounds crazy to most people. Why CAN'T I just find another bread? Because I can't. I'm not tasting other breads because I just know from the make-up of the bread I lost that there isn't a real comparison. Plus, I was reading diabetes forums where people were discussing how upsetting it was losing that bread and they hadn't found a suitable replacement. B asked why I'm eating diabetes bread in the first place - I don't have diabetes. I JUST LIKED IT. The consistency mostly. I don't like "light" bread because it isn't filling enough. I'd be hungry too quickly. I didn't want regular bread because of the carbs and calories. Pepperidge Farms Carb Style was perfect. It had the consistency of potato bread. It was perfect. Now, it's gone and I'm breadless.

This is also why I have to go to like five supermarkets to get everything I need, even though I don't really cook. I need certain things and not every supermarket carries them all. Shop Rite in Paramus is the only one who has MOST of what I need. Like, I can go there and not really NEED to go somewhere else. It would be more of a want than need.

I'm so pissed about my chocolates though. Granted, I think it's partial OCD, but the other part is the mind of a lifelong dieter. I'm not a drastic dieter - I still eat dessert every day. I eat my bread and butter. But I have the mind of a dieter, as in- I watch what I eat during the day. There's just some things I wouldn't do or the food floodgates would open and never close. I don't eat cake during the day. I wouldn't just grab a doughnut for breakfast. I wouldn't eat two doughnuts or two cupcakes in a day. Unless it was after-dinner-dessert and they were small.

I plan my food out for the day. I eat the same way every single work day. I pack a lunch bag. I take one Graze snack, two fruits (usually blueberries and something else), my Special K flatbread bacon & egg sandwich, a Yoplait (vanilla) Greek Yogurt or a Breakstone's Raspberry cottage cheese single. And THREE SKINNY COW CHOCOLATE CARAMEL DIVINES. My three little individually wrapped Divines are the highlight of my food day. WERE, were the highlight.

I was just saying to B a few weeks ago, musing about what would happen if my Special K egg sandwiches were discontinued. They used to carry them in Target and then they were gone. As soon as something is gone from where it usually lives, I get distressed. Luckily they carry them in Kilroy's, my local little grocery in town.

Everyone jokes about how I eat dinner at Early Bird Special hour, always eating the same thing, calling me Rainman, but I ENJOY it. I love a restaurant with a huge menu just to know there ARE options, if I ever want. I still order the same thing, I just like knowing I could order differently if I so desired. I haven't eating at Houston's in years, since they discontinued their bread service and got rid of their sweet summer corn dish. Now, it's not worth going there.

I recently stopped going to pick up Jenny Craig food because they totally changed the only two meals I ate. I had whittled what I liked down to only two meals out of their whole line- Roasted turkey medallions with green beans, mashed potatoes, and stuffing. It was my absolute favorite and I pretty much ate it four nights a week. I also would mix in their barbecue meatloaf with potatoes and vegetables. Guess what? They ruined them beyond edibility. The turkey is now just with mashed and corn and it's WET. Like...stew. It's disgusting. They just told me what they did to the meatloaf and I'm not touching it with a ten foot fork. Done. I've been a member for over ten years and I'm done. Pissed and done.

Old recipe for Roasted Turkey Medallions

I don't know that I *want* to be this way. I just am. It's exhausting. I wish I could be less rigid about my food. Or not so much food, but needing my specific items. Believe it or not, I've actually relented on some and have become more laid back. There are just some things I need. If I was just naturally skinny or something, maybe I wouldn't care. I'm just trying to maximize taste for what I like, within a calorie and portion amount conducive to not growing a giant ass.

Maybe it's just that I don't do well with change. My Remington make-up mirror (long discontinued) that I've had since college finally bit the dust. I'm pretty sure I got it at Service Merchandise (also long out of business). I combed the internet to actually find one, new in the box, literally from the 90's, that I bought on Mercari (like a Poshmark or eBay). I was ecstatic. Sometimes, I do, get a win.

Now, I guess I do have to find a replacement for my chocolate. After I buy all the ones left at Kmart. *sigh* I can't even discuss that E's silver dollar pancakes he's been eating since he's two, have been missing from Trader Joe's for weeks. I do NOT want to hear there is a discontinuation on those...