Satisfaction

I was going to call this entry- "You can't always get what you want..." then I thought, You CAN always get what you want..." I ended up going with "Satisfaction" because that's REALLY what it's about.

I'm writing this going into what's pretty much the last shopping week before the holidays. Both Christmas and Hanukkah are coinciding this year, with Hanukkah coming in first at December 22. You're running around, buying gifts, or clicking a button, buying gifts.

But are you LISTENING? Are you getting those you're buying gifts for what they want or what they asked for?

I'm in a bunch of Facebook groups and on message boards and I see this as a common complaint. They can't seem to get what they want from certain people in their lives OR they're the one insisting on getting something for a loved one that person doesn't particularly want. The BUYER just wants to see the person open it. I keep seeing "No gift cards. They HAVE to have something to open, I need to see them open something". I also see receivers complaining their mother, their mother-in-law, their great uncle, refuse to get them gift cards or give money to whatever practical item they need because THEY NEED TO SEE SOMETHING OPENED. 

I sort of get it with a kid. Don't get me started on the gluttony of the season vs the reason for the season because I don't subscribe to or participate in any of this tomfoolery. E figured out before last Christmas that Santa wasn't real so that was that. It's over. The jig is up. He'll get a few things for Hanukkah but we don't do this whole excessive gifting for any holiday. We buy things as we want to throughout the year and I don't need to see anything opened on a particular day. But most people don't do things this way and it's fine. This isn't an entry about how you should work your holidays or how gifting shouldn't be the reason for the season and all that.

As an aside, we just resurrected our little hoarder's "rocky rocky chair" - a Dutailier glider we had in his room from when he was born until a couple of years ago. We unveiled it to him, in it's new home in the  newly renovated basement recently, and he got fully "mountain of gifts" verklempt over it. Merry Christmakkuh! 

Back to regular people's holidays where a resurrected rocking chair isn't going to do it, my unsolicited holiday advice- GIVE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT. I've said before that I grew up celebrating Christmas because my parents wanted to celebrate it. When Rita was alive, she still gave me a Christmas gift as an adult, and it was my favorite gift ever. She would hand me a bag with a mess of gift cards in it. AND I WAS THRILLED. I LOVE to shop. If I'd gotten cash, I'd feel like I had to spend it practically- on bills. With gift cards, it would be like having money I could spend on me, for frivolous wants any time I felt like it. It was just as exciting to her to see my "open" my bag of gift cards as it would be to see me open and have to pretend to like some ugly gold leaf earrings my almost-mother in-law once bought me. Along with some Freesia bath beads.

No one knows how to shop for me better than ME. And my mom knew and respected that. Besides, with her wearing an acid washed denim fanny pack and my old Wigwams, we definitely had different aesthetic taste.

Of course people don't always tell you what they want. Also, I'm sure it does take the fun out of it when someone just tells you one thing they want. Then you're stuck with that one thing and there's absolutely no surprise there. Or you're spouses and you do gifts by list, just getting everything on a list. They probably should've just bought the stuff themselves. However, if someone just wants gift cards, stop trying to make Fetch happen and get them the gift cards. It may not be the worlds most exciting thing to see someone open gift cards, but they'll SO appreciate the gift. Isn't that what you want? The whole point of giving someone a gift is that they'll ENJOY it.

If your grown child is saving for a dishwasher, it may not be fun, but they'll be so appreciative that they can just get their damn dishwasher. It's not a gift to give them something they then have to do extra to enjoy- like giving brand new parents tickets to a show they don't particularly want to see, on a night they really don't have time for and have to get a sitter. So unless you're also arranging for them to having the time off from work and you're babysitting, just give them the cash they want! Or give them the babysitting and a gift card to the movies to go on their time schedule.

Someone who loves and gets me buys me a gift certificate to the nail salon I like for every gifting holiday. And I LOVE IT. Because I always need to get my nails done. It costs $50 every time and I don't always have an extra $50 for something frivolous like that. I LOVE having the gift certificate knowing that if I just want to get my nails done, I don't have to rationalize paying for that to myself. Or, if I want to get a super luxurious pedicure that I'd never pay for myself, I CAN. My face is just as happy opening that as I would be opening an actual tangible THING.

Your loved ones just want to know you put thought in and buying them what they want vs what you want to give them or what you want to see opened, IS putting the thought in. Even if what you're buying seems boring or stupid. The same way that you think a mound of stuff is going to light up their world, because YOU want to see the excitement you think that pile will bring. Meanwhile, there will most likely be one or two things they LOVE and the rest will just be overwhelming.

Merry Everything and Happy shopping!

Year End Update

I think this has been the slowest writing year yet since I started this blog. It's not even for all the reasons I've stated before, but I'll tell ya, it's old age. Not old-old, but I swear, when I'm in the shower, I think of things I want to write about when I get to work. Then I get to work and totally forget what I wanted to write. So, you missed some really good thoughts, but they just flew right out of my head.

Today I decided to write because I've had a doozy of a past few months, I've gotten some new gadgets, we've had some life experiences, and I'm sure some people also think that I've been a little missing in action.

School started in September and it's been a whirlwind. I feel like it just started and we're closing in on winter vacation. Or Staycation as we like to call  it. Yesterday I was at work and a client asked if something could be ready for Christmas. B said probably not because that's only like two weeks away. TWO WEEKS?? I don't really care because holidays aren't stressful or any more action packed than any other time for us, but I just wasn't thinking, "two weeks". We never even decorated our house with any holiday cheer, which we usually do. Glad E didn't notice because it's less for B to do- the putting up and taking down of it all. Maybe it also feels faster because Thanksgiving was late this year, thus giving us less time for the whole Christmas-frenzy.

I don't know if I wrote about it but in June, our water heater broke and left us with inches of water in the basement. We had full carpet down there. It took forever for the insurance to go through because right after that happened to us, there was a hurricane or some other extreme weather down the shore and the insurance company was swamped. Sometime around the end of September, the insurance went through and we were able to have work on the basement started. The guy doing the work is amazing at his job, but he's one guy. Also, it's not like I had somewhere to put stuff, so he had to work around it, putting down a floor. One guy having to move all that stuff around adds time. You also don't realize how much stuff you had or have until you have a floor and/or have to clear out a whole room. It became the dumping ground for all E's toys, games, game pieces, BALLS, more balls, Lincoln Logs, you name it.

So it's December, and I can say the main part of the basement, where people would hang out, is now fully usable and almost finished. It's just bits of decor that need to be completed. The bathroom down there has a new tile floor, which is SPECTACULAR, and now he's working on the actual scene of the crime- the laundry room.

Speaking of the bathroom floor, I finally got to do me. When we moved in, we didn't do anything except add our own furniture and art. It was already almost newly painted. It was NOT my style at all. It was fine. Just not my kind of colors. We weren't painting over new paint, so I learned just to decorate around it and make it work. Starting from scratch in the basement though, I got to do it the way *I* wanted to do it. And I like iridescent.

If you want tile, there are a million tile places to choose from. If you want something out of the ordinary, non-neutral, FUN, and kind of funky, it's A LOT harder to find what you're looking for. Luckily this is a small bathroom and after much Googling, I found MY tile. I found Mosaic Tile Supplies somehow and of course the first one I wanted, there wasn't enough tile. It would be a whole thing where they could make something similar but not quite. I have never purchased tile before and hadn't seen this in person. I was wary of having something custom done when I'd never seen it. I chose Broadway Blue instead. Even the names of the tile were right up my alley. Below is before and after.

We decided to do a backsplash in our kitchen too because we don't have one. It's a very small area so the one I originally wanted for the bathroom floor is going to be the backsplash because they had just enough sheets of tile for that. But that's a project for down the road. I have the tile because I ordered it together, but let's just get the basement done.

So we've had to move stuff out, change what we had, fix this and that, etc. I've been pretty much consumed with this whole thing because now that it's getting done my way, I've had a lot of decisions to make. Both B and I are quick decision makers, but it's the research of finding what I want that's been the challenge. It's always a needle in a haystack kind of thing, especially when you have a tight budget!

We didn't change the sink vanity because it wasn't in the budget, but for eighty dollars, I was able to buy that Homecom space-saver cabinet tower and put it together myself. It only took like two hours and only one shelf is upside down!

During all this renovation, E was waiting to hear if he won the Westfield's Got Talent contest (he didn't), and gearing up to try out for America's Got Talent. Extra guitar and singing lessons, swim practice in a very inconvenient location with no one this swim season to carpool with, and acting classes in NYC with Actors Technique NY, he and I were both running around in complete chaos. Thanksgiving came, fulfilling our yearly dinner tradition of family friends in our town, with E coming down with pneumonia, then promptly giving it to me. Womp Womp.

I also want to give a heads up about some cool stuff we got for this renovation. We haven't done ANYTHING to our house, as far as decor, since we moved in fourteen years ago. It was funny, one of E's friends came over and was wowed by our new Alexa enabled voice controlled Smart TV. Yeah kid, when you still have tube TV sets and finally get a new one, it has all the bells and whistles for super cheap now. It's amazing how you can time warp from 2000 to 2019 in one Amazon click for under two hundred bucks.

We got an Insignia Fire TV or something. I have a Toshiba Fire TV I got on Prime Day for like ninety-nine dollars upstairs. I like them because who doesn't love a Smart TV? I had a Roku plug in thing for awhile on the TV in the basement, but it was a pain. It's just more convenient to have it IN the TV. However, I will tell you the one really annoying thing. The only thing, but it irks the living crap out of me. If B or E was watching something on Amazon or Netflix in the sun room, when I turn one of those Amazon Fire TVs on somewhere else, it doesn't go to live TV. It is on the Home screen ready to go back to watching something on Amazon Prime. I have to use the actual TV branded remote to switch back to HDMI 1. It just takes extra time when I would prefer the live TV just to turn on. There is no way to do that, at least not on the Toshiba. I haven't really investigated the Insignia, but it's probably the same deal.

I'll tell you this too- it's probably better to stick with the lower priced TVs versus springing for a certain "brand name" TV. We have a Samsung smart TV in the bedroom that is a few years old. I turned it on the other night and everything - people, inanimate objects, etc- were ALL OUTLINED IN GREEN. I don't know what happened, and it's fixed now, but I'm sure from the little sleuthing I did online, that means it's on it's way out. They don't make stuff like they used to! Evidenced by the still working ginormous HEAVY tube TV we just ditched.

We also made our thermostat Smart this past weekend. Well, WE didn't make it Smart. It came that way. I got an Ecobee4 Alexa enabled/controlled Smart thermostat with a separate sensor on Prime Day. It sat in a box since July, along with The Ring that isn't installed yet. B watched some YouTube videos and felt he could put it in himself. Until, of course, he was done installing and it didn't work. Then it became all about how I push him into doing things way above his ability. However, another of course, he managed to get it to work. It's super cool. If I want to have it play music in the dining room where it's on the wall, I can have guests serenaded through dinner. Because guests would be the only reason we'd be eating in the dining room. We don't really have guests, ever, but now that the basement will be completed AND you can be serenaded through a meal, maybe we will!

The best part of this thing is that when I'm having hot flashes and I've taken the AC down to like sixty-four degrees, and I've inevitably left the house without turning it back up, I can change the temp right from my phone. Awesome for forgetful people like me.

I also got a cool light that can play music through Bluetooth and and changes colors. Because I want to live my life in rainbow, even when I'm peeing. And you can find it HERE if you want one of your very own.

So, that's what's been going on, where I've been, what I've been doing, and obviously what I've been buying and putting together. E has had a decent amount of auditions, so in between having and spreading pneumonia, we've been on the go to this or that audition in NYC. He just had something yesterday, then on the way home I got an email that I had to record him before bed for something else. It's always something! We even managed to squeeze in going to a Camp Wekeela ice cream social/reunion.

Next entry or maybe one after, I'll show you the whole basement.

I Want A Peloton

I've totally been coveting a Peloton. I don't even know if I'd like it but everyone I know who has one seems to love it. Howard Stern has one and his admittedly ginormous (body weight) male staff have them too. Stern was talking about Peloton almost daily for awhile, even having one set up in his hotel when he recently went to Los Angeles to promote his book, Howard Stern Comes Again.

I just saw all the controversy about the new Peloton holiday commercial today and I can't believe all the outrage and overreaction. The commercial shows a "rail thin woman" (as called by news outlets and haters on Twitter) receiving one for Christmas from her husband. People went bananas. They said the commercial is sexist. It's anti-woman. Women interviewed on the street said they wouldn't be happy if their husband bought them a piece of exercise equipment. I think I saw something about the commercial being bad for women's body image.

Commercial here:

THIS IS CRAZY. Nowhere in the ad did anyone say anything about losing weight. I know people who run or lift weights just because it's a stress release. My husband, B, just started exercising again after like ten years of not doing it, because he just turned fifty and wants to be HEALTHY. I don't think he even has any weight to lose. If he loses any pounds, that will be a byproduct, but he isn't working out for that purpose.

I'm not skinny. I'm curvy. I hate exercise. Yet, I hate walk/jog on my treadmill just about six to seven days a week for around sixty to ninety minutes every time. I literally hate every minute. I fantasize about some form of exercise that would "change me" as the girl in the commercial said the Peloton did. I WANT TO LIKE EXERCISE.

The only sexist thing about the commercial is that I have to assume that they had the man give it to the woman because it's expensive. And men tend to have different mirrors than women, as the late, great Richard Jeni once said. No matter what he really looks like, he tends to think he looks much BETTER, whereas women are much harder on themselves.

If a guy is getting his wife a Peloton, chances are she ASKED for it. Or showed her longing as they passed by it in the mall. Our big mall has a Peloton store. I've walked by and looked at it longingly. But the bike is around twenty-two hundred dollars! I know I can't afford it. So if someone were to purchase one for me- my husband, Santa, whomever, I'd gladly take it.

I think people need to REEL IT IN. This isn't any old exercise bike. This is a pretty big investment. It's not the kind of thing you put together and it ends up used to hang clothes on. You buy the bike but you're also buying like a gym membership. There's a monthly fee for the classes or whatever. Don't quote me, but I'm pretty sure, unless you purchase the bike secondhand, you have to buy the membership. So again, this isn't my mom's stationary bike that collected dust in our basement.

Not to mention, SOME PEOPLE LIKE EXERCISE! Some of those people happen to be women, and some of them happen to be wives. People know if their husband is a dick, buying them a piece of exercise equipment to make some kind of dick statement on their weight. If B was somehow able to afford a Peloton, I would certainly not think he was being a dick.

People who are bothered are projecting their own issues on to this ad. Period. People just took it as the husband thinking his wife needs to lose weight. That wasn't even implied. It's not like she was fat when she started and by the years end it showed her as skinny from all her Peloton-ing. I saw a kid in that commercial. Maybe he thought she needed a stress release that wasn't "mommy wine culture". If it was a wine commercial and he'd bought her a case of wine, people would probably think that was funny.

We don't have to be offended by everything. Exercise isn't just about losing weight either. It's annoying that people immediately jumped to the notion that someone giving the gift of movement is doing so to send a message about weight. Exercise is also just about general health. Considering we have an obesity problem in this country, I don't think that giving a gift that someone will actually use to get healthier is automatically a bad thing.

This is a hate bandwagon. People seem to be easily brainwashed these days to jump on a hate train and be outraged about anything. It's like just wanting to fight for fight's sake. To have an issue just because. It's stupid. Personally, I'd rather see a wife get a Peloton in a commercial than a car. It's more realistic to me for someone to get a 3k Peloton versus a brand new Lexus. If you have a husband that gifting a Peloton from is a dick move, then just YOUR husband is a dick. Maybe you should kick him to the curb and keep the Peloton.