Rock Your Burger

HELP! SOS!

I would hate to see a Glen Rock small family business go under. Eat your red meat! Don't battle mall traffic! We have family friends who LOVE Rony's burgers- they come to Glen Rock from New Milford every week and leave with those burgers and FREE fries because that's the Thursday deal. They know the order when I call. They're just good people.

From The Ridgewood-Glen Rock Patch:

Without Community Support, Rony's Rock Burger Struggles to Survive

Rony Alvarado can't figure out why Glen Rock residents haven't packed his burger joint. If it business stays like this, he says he won't make it through 2012.

• ByJames Kleimann
• Email the author
• 6:00 am

Rony Alvarado stacks several meals on his arms and forearms, waltzes past the rock memorabilia draped from the walls and places the grass-fed burgers, cut fries and thick shakes on the table. The kids, smiling and shouting, quickly make a request – "Can we put on Spongebob?" they chirp.
"Oh you got it, sure," Alvarado laughs, turning on Nick Jr. "I love kids," he says, grinning. "Family, that's important, man; it matters so much."

Though he's all smiles with customers – even telling those without cash their credit is good with him – Rony (pronounced "Ronnie") and his restaurant, Rony's Rock Burger, are hurting.
Alvarado took the restaurant over in March of 2011 from former owner Jeff Louis, transforming the small "man vs. food"-styled burger joint to a rock-'n-roll themed hangout.

While items like the Ted Nugent (chicken nuggets), Yolk-o (burger with a fried egg) and Sweet Home Alabama (grilled cheese sandwich) have brought some groupies and a heaping of teens looking for a place to gather, it just isn't enough to make ends meet.
The $3,300 he pays a month on rent and taxes looks like a mountain. The last three others who failed in the same location can attest to those struggles, he remarks. Alvarado is behind on payments and the landlord won't budge on lowering the rent.

He tried to open his burger joint over the summer, hucking his burgers at the Glen Rock Municipal Pool in June. He "lost his shirt" and quickly shut down again before reopening for fall.
"If it keeps going like this, I don't think I'll make it to the end of the year," Alvarado says somberly.
It's a bewildering situation for Rony, who previously worked as a chef across the street at RoCCa.
"I don't understand why I'm not getting the community support," he says. "Everybody that comes here is so satisfied. I never got a complaint from anybody, ever. This is the best burger in the area. So I know it's not that they don't like the food. I just think that people in town don't support enough businesses right here...I get some people in town coming but it's just not enough."

Alvarado says he believes the borough citizens are largely aware of his burger spot, located at 192 Rock Road.

He also acknowledges that some places in town – pointing to John's Boy Pizza – have a regular, steady stream of fiercely local residents packing the tables, which arguably makes it harder to set a toe hold in the market.

"Owning a restaurant has been a dream," he says. "And what better place to have it than in Glen Rock? This is a great town. I figured if I presented a great product at a moderate price, people would love it. It just hasn't panned out yet."

Asked if he thought it could be a marketing problem, Alvarado wasn't sure.

It's something of a moot point – you need money to spend money on advertising, he notes. And the til's low, with available funds largely heading to the landlord, distributors and the energy company.
Alvarado says he's trying all he can to spur some interest in his rock-themed burger joint. He's taking a risk by opening up again on Sundays by offering specials on wings, free fries on Thursdays and $2 sliders if the customer orders 10 or more, he says.

"Whatever it takes; I'll come to your house and cook," he told Patch. "Whatever I need to do. My customers are amazing, all I need are more of them from here. We're fighting, we're trying to make it.

That's all I can do."

Have a question or news tip? Contact editor James Kleimann at James.Kleimann@patch.com, or find us on Facebook and Twitter. For news straight to your inbox every morning, sign up for our daily newsletter.

http://ridgewood.patch.com/articles/without-community-support-rony-s-struggles-to-survive

Peaceful Parenting

I know Kevin and his wife from just being out and about in town. I don't know him well but from what I do I can tell he's probably pretty good at what he does- I just saw on FB that his wife posted he's doing some parenting classes so I copied the flier and posted below. You should check him out!

 

About Dr. Kevin Brennan

Dr. Kevin earned a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology from the Massachusetts School of Professional Psychology in 2004. He is a Relational and Cognitive Behavioral psychologist. Dr. Brennan's dissertation investigated the use of Relational psychotherapy with "emerging adults," and he continues to study this unique developmental period.


In addition, Dr. Kevin practice provides counseling to individuals and couples of any age.
Dr. Kevin is also available for:

• YP Seminars
• Written Editorials
• Corporate workshops
• Business Consulting

 

Tonight!

 

 

 

Sam used to work for us and his work is fab! Check him out TONIGHT!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taste of Bergen

We've been to three 201 Best of Bergen parties (you know, since we win the Home Decor Store award a lot, ;-) :::pat on the back::: ). They do know how to throw a good party! TASTE - The (201) Restaurant Week Party

Monday, October 1, 2012 7:00-10:00 PM Seasons, Washington Township Ticket price: $50.00 per person. Sample dishes from Bergen County's top restaurants. Enjoy beer, wine and cocktails. Participating Restaurants: Allendale Eats, Amore Cucina Ristorante, Andrea's, Antonia's by the Park, Aoyama, Axia Taverna, Bel Posto Restaurant, Bella Campania Ristorante, Biddy O'Malley's, Biggie's Clam Bar, Blind Boar Bar-B-Que, Blue Moon Mexican Cafe, Bourbon Barbecue & Catering, Brick House, Cubby's, Dino's Restaurant, Gabriel's Grille & Bar, Gen Sushi & Hibachi, Ho-Ho-Kus Inn & Tavern, La Bottega, Latour, Legal Sea Foods, Le Jardin, Martini's, Mason Jar, Meson Madrid, Michael Anthony's, MK Valencia, Nellie's Place, Office Bar & Grill, Pearl Restaurant, Pizzeria Mandara & Ristorante, Ramsey Golf & Country Club, Regina's Steakhouse & Grill, Rosa Mexicano, Seasons, Shannon Rose, Spuntino, Village Green Restaurant. Must be 21 or older to purchase tickets and attend event. Limited number of tickets available. Tickets will not be sold at the door. All sales final.  http://northjersey.upickem.net/engine/YourSubmission.aspx?contestid=61480

Street Meet & Meat

Two events happening this weekend! I may have to do eenie meenie miney moe. We almost always do Hoboken but how do we not do Glen Rock? Glen Rock's street fair has grown by leaps and bounds since we moved here in 2006. It used to just be the businesses in the Glen Rock downtown participated. But now it's a "real" street fair. It's probably not as big as Ridgewood's but it's also a smaller downtown in general. If I remember correctly they have a lot for the kids to do too. But Hoboken's Arts & Music Festival is also one of my favorites. I think I missed one since 2003.

Anyway- here are the details-

Glen Rock Autumn Craft Street Fair

Sep 30, 2012

Location: Rock Road, Glen Rock, NJ Website:www.pjspromotions.com
Phone: 201-666-1340
Contact: P.J.'s Promotions

The Glen Rock Autumn Craft Street Fair is a quality show featuring 100 exhibitors with handmade crafts & art, a children's area, and great food!

Sunday, September 30, 2012, from 11 am to 4 pm.

Sponsored by the Glen Rock Chamber of Commerce.

Directions:
Route 4 West to 208 North, exit Maple Ave ramp towards Glen Rock/Ridgewood. Left on Rock Rd.

 

*********************************************************************************

 

Hoboken Arts & Music Festival

Sunday, Sept. 30, 2012

11am to 6pm
takes place on Washington St.
between Observer Highway to 7th St.
For information contact Geri Fallo at 201-420-2207
or gfallo@hobokennj.org
Over 300 Artists, Crafters, Photographers,
Sculptors, Local Businesses, Restaurants,
Food Vendors, local non-profits & more
Rain or shine – Admission is Free

3 Stages of live music featuring:The Sensational Soul Cruisers
The Push Stars
Megan Reilly
Hello Radio
The New Loretta Revuewith The Lonesome Prairie Dogs featuring Tammy Faye Starlight,
Lenny Kaye (from The Patti Smith Band) & Joe McGinty
Gene D. Plumber
Silver Plane Crucifix
Observer Highway Stagenoon – Emily Turonis
12:45pm – Hello Radio
1:30pm – The New Loretta Revue
with the Lonesome Prairie Dogsfeaturing Tammy Faye Starlite,
Lenny Kaye (from the Patti Smith’s Band)
2:30pm – Megan Reilly
3:30pm - The Push Stars4:20pm – Maddog Mattern (comedy)
4:45pm- The Sensational Soul Cruisers
3rd Street Stage – children’s area
12pm – Polka Dot
1pm – Garden Street Dance
1:30pm – Preschool of Rock
2:15pm – Polka Dot
3pm – Preschool of Rock
4pm – Fuzzy Lemons
5:15pm – Little Club Heads
6th Street Stage
12:30pm – Hoboken School of Music
12:55pm – Hanna Valente
1:20pm – WIO – Zumba demo
1:40pm- Comedy with Maddog Mattern
2pm – Gene D Plumber
2:45pm Silver Plane Crucifix
3:30pm Good by Friday
4:15pm -
5pm – Danny Matos y Son Candela
Schedules are tentative and subject to change.

Volunteers are needed for festival setup
on Sunday, Sept. 30th, 7:30am to 11am

Contact: Geri Fallo, Division of Cultural Affairs
Send an Email
Phone: 201-420-2207
Fax: 201-420-2009

Special features include

• Fine artists are located between 2nd & 3rd Sts. (both sides), 5th & 6th Sts. (North, East side), and artists from the Monroe Center for the Arts bet. First & Newark Sts. (North, East side), so if you are an art collector, these are the locations you will want to explore first. Oil paintings, watercolors, acrylics, sculpture, mixed media, photography, etc.

• Children’s activities on 3rd street with rides, games, creative activities, face painting, sand art, balloons, live performances and much, much more:

• Crafters display / sell handmade: pottery, metalwork, wood items, furniture, blown & fused glass, quilts, household items made from recycled materials, batik clothing, hand painted furniture, candles, jewelry, dried florals, soaps & lotions and other unique handcrafted items.

• Food: Lots of great food throughout the fair. Hoboken restaurants will set up street cafes offering an eclectic variety of international foods such as: Thai, Indian, Greek, French, Mexican, Cajun and Italian

Transportation

Located just 3 blocks from all public transportation:
PATH, NJ Transit Trains & buses, NY Waterway Ferries & the Hudson Bergen Lightrail
Washington Street will be closed from 6am to 9pm
between Observer Highway and 7th Street
During this time, NJ TRANSIT Bus No. 22 (North Bergen-Union City-Hoboken),
No. 89 (North Bergen-Hoboken) and No. 126 (Hoboken-New York)
will operate on a detour.
Customers traveling toward North Bergen and New York
will board and alight along Bloomfield Street at customer’s request.
Customers traveling toward Hoboken Terminal
will board and alight along Willow Avenue at marked bus stop locations.

Sponsors
United Water
The Hoboken Reporter
Capital One Bank, Walgreens, Yelp, KTU,
Optimum, PATH, Port Authority of NY & NJ, NJ.Com, Dyson
Anthony Davids, Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks, Crumbs, Luca Brasi,
Lisa’s Deli, Zico & Illy Coffee

Supported in part by a grant from the Department of State, Division of Travel & Tourism
www.visitnj.org

Open House

Glen Rock Newcomers & Neighbors group-

They're doing an open house next week-

Before we moved here, I actually looked up the Glen Rock website that just about every town has now, looking to see what kind of "social life" the town had going. I was pleased to see a "Newcomers" group. My mom had told me that when she moved into the town I grew up in, they had a group like that and it sounded so cool. It was long since gone by the time we'd had the conversation about it but I think it's an awesome idea and it just shows the spirit of a town. I think it's harder in bigger, more spread out towns but since Glen Rock is more sort of like Mayberry, at least to me, it seems like the kind of thing that would fit in perfectly here.

We joined it when we moved in in August 2006, even though we had no kids yet. We just wanted to meet people. Right away they were planning the Progressive Dinner that they had 2x a year- Fall & Spring. It was the most popular event they had. I volunteered to be the "dessert house"- the last stop for the dinner. At that time it was an event they had to turn people away from because it always sold out. It was really fun. They had all kinds of events- wine & cheese night, coffee & kids, holiday parties, chili cook off, tailgate parties, etc. There was also a DINKS sub-group- Double Income No Kids we were part of where we went to dinners locally.

We stopped having time to go to these things because of various unforeseen life circumstances but it was definitely a fun thing to do and I highly recommend it to anyone- new or old, if you're looking to add to you or your kids social circle in town. It good just to know people- you never know who is going to be a fellow class parent or next to you getting a pedicure.

There is almost a whole new executive board this year of really motivated women running the show. They are all organized, fun, and get the job done. Of course I'm a little biased because some of them have been friends of mine for awhile but I also speak the truth (evident in my other blogs!). So they're having a party/open house and I strongly recommend checking them out and maybe even think about spearheading a team for an event! They even got a cool new website for members going before the kick-off even happened. They're already kicking ass. So many families have signed up to be members so you'll definitely be in good company with other excited Glen Rockers looking to have an awesome year of activities and making new friends.

****You DON'T have to live in Glen Rock to be a member! My friend had joined from nearby Hawthorne. There are also families from other nearby towns that have friends in Glen Rock, etc.****

Open House and Kick-Off Party for GRNN

Glen Rock Newcomers and Neighbors

Saturday, October 6, 2012 from 2:00 PM to 6:00 PM (EDT)

Glen Rock, NJ

You can register (for FREE) here:
http://www.eventbrite.com/event/4311680352

So Gay

Have you had enough politics lately? I have. At this point I don’t even want to know or care who you’re voting for. I can’t deal with all the articles because if you spend five minutes on the internet you can find a thousand articles for and against whatever it is that you believe. I’m over it. I know who I’m voting for. I’m fairly certain most people do. Nothing is changing anyone’s mind. If someone is posting an article against “the other side” then most likely you’re not changing their mind so it’s pointless to even argue it.

BUT- I can’t let total ignorance go. I just can’t. I’m so ragey right now, I needed an outlet today. For instance- you want to bash Obama on policy, how he handled a situation. That’s cool. You can have an opinion on that. But if I see a slam post of Obama with a bucket of fried chicken and a watermelon, you’re a racist asshole and I’m not going to be associated with you. So racist is out. Anti-woman is out. And for fucks sake- anti-gay is DEFINITELY out for me.

I would like to take a moment to explain the definition of the word opinion. As it says in the dictionary- 1. A view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge. So, guess what folks- just because you believe it DOESN’T MAKE IT TRUE. I could believe that jellybeans should be a basic food group. Unfortunatel y for me and Jelly Belly, that doesn’t make it true.

So let’s talk about gay parenting for a moment. I got on Facebook today to see a post from an acquaintance about (her perception) of “truth”. Apparently Rupert Everett, who is openly gay, made some negative statement about gay men being parents. He said something about kids needing both a mom and dad and how it would be the worst thing to have two dads. She posted the article with her own statement- “So refreshing to read truth…..takes courage”. At first I was perplexed. I didn’t understand what truth she could possibly be talking about. I’ve met her. I don’t know her well but she told me she loves my blog so I felt she must be fairly bright and open-minded. Although it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility I could’ve been blinded by my own ego, enjoying having a “blog fan”. I read the article, twice, to see if I could be missing something but then…I went to her page and audibly gasped…

I scrolled down a little bit in her timeline to find two ginormous photos- one of her and one of her husband, joyfully holding up their Chik-Fil-A purchases on Aug 1, or what I call the Day of Extreme Bigotry, Ignorance& Hatred. I was so taken aback I just stepped away from the computer for a minute, bug-eyed.

Yes. You can think whatever you want. Believe in any book of stories you want. You can have a list of what you consider sins…FOR YOU AND YOURS. IN YOUR HOUSE. But when your beliefs start infringing on others that have absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever, and those beliefs actually hurt other people, THAT is where I have a HUGE problem. That day was in no way, shape or form about “free speech” and anyone that says it was, is either being deliberately obtuse or is just (in the words of Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men) galactically stupid. That day was about divisiveness, hate, and ordinary people having the mistaken idea that their feelings and beliefs trump all others. It was about bullying and being sheep.

Anyway- back to gay parenting. So of course I couldn’t just let her “truth”comment go. Because it’s not truth. It’s nowhere near truth. I explained and gave examples as to the differences between opinion and truth. Then her husband came on to “defend” their position. I should point out that they share a Facebook account so right there, I have many opinions of my own on how douchey that is, but I digress. His defense of their unified thought- “It doesn’t matter what you or I think… what matters is that there is a standard. And you’re suggesting we should not have a standard to live by, or no “best case scenario”. Yes, we all fall short but what this guy is reminding us of is that there is still a best practice. Look, a pack of wolves and a bear raised a child (in the jungle book). Doesn’t change the fact that there is a standard…and it is a mom and a dad. Stomp your feet all you want.”

A standard? A best practice? I have a friend who is gay, married to his husband, together for fifteen years, and they have a four year old daughter they adopted as a newborn. The standard mom and dad were young, didn’t want a baby, and ill-equipped to care for her to the best of anyone’s ability. It’s “best practice” to have kept this little girl with the man/woman couple because it’s “standard”? Is that what I’m to understand somehow? By what fact-based study would it have been better? We’ve had tons of standards in this country, in the past, that are downright deplorable to embarrassing, at best. It used to be the standard that women not be allowed to vote or work. It was standard that black people had to ride the back of the bus, couldn’t marry white people, drink from white people water fountains, go to school with white kids, etc. I’m pretty sure the guy I know with two mommies is pretty grateful for the life he has with Nancy and Beth versus staying a crack baby to grow up trapped in the cycle of abuse and neglect he came from. (Oh yeah, he also started out with a mom and a dad. Or in my opinion, an egg and sperm donor. The titles of “mom” and “dad” are earned in my book- not just given).

The girl who originally posted the article on FB didn’t even answer herself. Either she is still formulating one hours upon hours later, or she just feels her man should take the lead on such complicated discussions. I don’t know. But if you want to post controversial shit on your page then I kind of think you ought to be prepared to back it up or even if you're just going to say, "this is what I was taught is right", then say it. Don't have someone talk for you. I’m still so disgusted by the Chik-Fil-A photos that I want to barf just typing about them.

I’m just so angry that there are people that are such sheep that they just take a religious interpretation and spew it as fact. If there weren’t so many sheep I could just brush it off but the amount of sheep seems to grow by leaps and bounds every time I open Facebook. It’s a blessing and a curse to have to be privy to how people really think about everything. If it was not for Facebook, I could be blissfully unaware. But, once it’s in my face, I obviously can’t “un-know” it, so it boils my blood. And I certainly don’t want to be associated with such stupidity. So now, I actually feel like I have to be much more discerning about who I let friend me, which kind of sucks because I'm not an elitist Facebooker- I'm pretty open to all until I'm blown away by racism, hate, anti-semitism and the plain old ignorance and stupidity. I’m all for differing opinions, even in politics. I have plenty of people I know, that I’m close to, who are card-carrying Republicans. I don’t pretend to understand their positions, I don’t want to talk politics with them, and I strongly disagree on most every point but there is a line for me. I can agree to disagree when it comes to differing fiscal schools of thought. But when it comes to wanting to strip people of basic human and civil rights, pushing a hate, bigotry, and bag full of lies kind of agenda, not only am I not boarding that fucked-up crazy-train, I’ll do whatever I have to do to derail and crash it too.

I’m sure I’ll be asked if I really believe it’s not okay to have a differing opinion on gay marriage and parenting or being "allowed" to parent. I’ll say it right here-my answer is a resounding NO- NOT OK. It’s just not, for me. Well, it is, but I don’t want to know you then. Or just keep that opinion to yourself. It’s not up for debate. In my eyes, you’re just wrong. It’s the same to me as saying we should still own slaves. Standards and best practices have to change with the times. Otherwise we’d be still bleeding and dying from coat-hanger abortions, drinking from different water fountains, and believing you can only get AIDS if you’re gay. If you’re ok withholding rights from whole groups of people based on how they were born using religion as your shield then we’re just so fundamentally different that I don’t see a middle ground. There IS no middle ground for me on living and let live. You can decide to not believe in equality for all based on whatever you want and just live accordingly as you see fit. Don't marry someone of the same sex, don't adopt/have a baby with someone of the same sex, and do all the praying you want for those that do. But that's where your allowances end for me and other people's rights begin. Chris Kluwe actually said the jist of this whole paragraph better than I ever could so make sure you check that article out from the link below.

This isn't a political debate. It's a human one. And I'm just so over the hypocracy of using religion as an excuse to hate & separate. I'm pretty sure that's NOT what Jesus would do...from what I've heard anyway. I know this whole FB post from the original post didn't touch gay marriage so it didn't start out from that but as far as I'm concerned it's all the same. And the marriage thing started burning me way before this whole thing today so I felt like including it.

I just want to share two articles/letters *I* found which made me want to stand up and cheer:

From The Huffington Post- Greg Rikaart (Young & the Restless): http://www.huffingtonpost.com/greg-rikaart/chick-fil-a-controversy-_b_1765990.html

From The Huffington Post- Chris Kluwe (NFL player, Minnesota Vikings):

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/chris-kluwe/an-open-letter-to-emmett-burns_b_1866216.html

Edit: Someone asked me how I knew the husband answered and not the wife. Then I realized I have no idea. I assumed it was the husband because his name is first. I don't even know if it was she or he was the one to post the article. I'm not editing my thoughts above because this whole realization right here goes on to prove how positively douchey it is to have a shared Facebook account. Here I'm thinking she's a total asshole for posting that and it could've been him the whole time. Even if I believed whatever, I wouldn't want my husband posting where someone could think it was me. I guess I don't really get the whole, "becoming One" after marriage. At any rate- she's an asshole for the Chik-Fil-A picture, but I have no idea which one was responsible for today's asshatery. Hey- you become one account, you're responsible for anything on it. And gavel!

Controversial article that started this today- http://content.usatoday.com/communities/entertainment/post/2012/09/18/rupert-everett-nothing-worse-than-gay-parents-glaad/70000572/1
 

The Big C

The Big C. Not the tv show, unfortunately. Real life Big C- Cancer. I'm sure we all know someone touched by it. I'm fairly certain that much of my extended family has succumbed to different forms of it. Friends parents, a neighborhood kid, a friend of a friend.

I always donate money when it's a child in the area. I'll spread the word. B and I even got swabbed to be bone marrow donors when a local child who took the same music class as E did a marrow drive. But this time, it was just different. I can't even explain it. Maybe because I'm older...my place in life. Who knows. It just was also a huge shock.

It's not easy to make mom-friends. Especially when you're a "one and done-r" in a town where three and four kids is the "norm". Either they already have their close friends from when their older child was the newborn, or they have younger ones and they just don't have the time. Or, like with regular "couple dating", you like the mom but not the husband, you like the mom but the kids don't play nice together, or you just don't feel like you fit in with anyone...Then we met Jocelyn and Eric.

E would always come home talking about S- J&E's son. They were always together when I'd pick E up because they stayed late together since we all work. We started hanging out with them a little more because like us, while I don't know if they're "done", at least for now, they only have one. We're all pretty "on the go" and spontaneous, because we can be at this point. The boys are three and a half, they're active, and we need to find things to do that will entertain them and they live close to us. One day we went to Hoboken, had a little impromptu picnic by the water, then took the boys to the West Village so they could see what going on the PATH was like. It was one of the best days ever. It was the day B and I were like- Oh thank god we click with them! It was so much fun- the boys had an awesome time and B & I were just really excited to have new friends to hang with. This was in the late spring so we were looking forward to a summer of hanging out, relaxing over BBQ and letting the boys play. Not that I don't love hanging with just B and E, but it's nice to have a friend for him and adult conversation for us, without having to get a sitter and not really doing anything complicated.

J and I are both the same age- 38. We joked that we don't feel old but we both have back pain, it's so annoying. I was saying how if stick around to talk to other moms in the school parking lot after drop off or pick up, I'm paying for it later just from standing for fifteen minutes. J said she totally understood because she has been excruciating back pain. We were able to commiserate about our collective pains.

There was the D.A.R.E carnival and she said she was too tired to go so we didn't see them. I thought it was odd to be so tired you don't want to go to a carnival but whatever. She was tired. About two weeks later there was a carnival in town and I expected they'd want to go. I didn't hear from them and I thought maybe they weren't that into us- Hey, I can't explain it but it's happened before! We think we're fun and cool but we talk a lot. We're not everyone's cup of tea. B asked what happened to them and I said- who knows- maybe they just don't want to hang out. Then I got the email.

At first I thought it was a joke- a bad one. It started off like one of those hacked email things. Where it's a fake email from the person saying they're hurt or stuck in another country and need money. I wasn't even going to read it - I was going to text J and say she got hacked. For some reason I kept reading. And I was stunned. J was in excruciating pain and E took her to the hospital. Long story short- she was diagnosed with cancer. Tumors in the brain, breast, back and liver. I'm not even sure what the rest of the email said except for ONE thing. Positivity. But I was floored. I just never had cancer hit me so hard. When it was my aunt- my mom's sister, I was sad, but I was fourteen years old and didn't really get it. I was a teenager consumed with my own stuff. It just didn't feel real. This felt too real because I could be her- she could be any of the moms from E's class. We both have three year old boys. We have plans. We have shit to do. We're the same age and this isn't supposed to happen. I mean, who thinks back pain and ends up with cancer? It sounds insane. It just threw me. I felt helpless because they are new-ish friends, I love their kid, my kid loves their kid....but there's just nothing to do.

They only want positivity and know she's going to beat it. No sad looks, no sighing and the tilted head with the frown. I can do positivity. And I have a place to share her story where maybe some good can come out of it. J just recently made a Caring Bridge site for people to read and she said it was okay if I blasted it out. If I can't cure cancer then at least I can raise awareness of her, her story, her cancer and get her some positive energy and thoughts going her way. I'm not one for prayer- it's not my thing, but for people that are, it would be awesome if you could put her on your list.

She's a fighter man- she looks bad-ass right now too. She lost her hair but she's rocking all kinds of cool head-ware (?). Her arms look jacked. Nevermind cancer- she kind of looks like she can totally kick ass and take names. She looks...good. She certainly doesn't look like someone that has cancer. I've seen "sick" people. If she had her hair, she'd totally look like she's just healthy. I don't know what goes on behind closed doors but she's one of the bravest people I know. She comes to school stuff (drop off, pick up, orientation) after having chemo a day or two before and she's there with a smile. We make cancer jokes- she doesn't take anything too seriously. She's just inspiring. She's. Still. Her. The same person she was before. Just a little more tired. She watches a little more trash tv since she never used to be home during the day. AND THE TUMORS ARE SHRINKING. They are. The treatments seem to be doing their job and she's doing hers just keeping that smile on her face and going about her daily stuff. So this blog is for her- I'm giving the link to her site and whatever you want to do- read, pass on, donate, walk - whatever. It's all appreciated. Any positive energy you can spare would be great because she deserves it. I'm glad we've become friends and I bought her a bottle of really good champagne for when we hear those tumors are gone! 

https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jocelynnissenbaum1/createorsignin

Potty All The Time

So much has gone on so I don't even know where to begin. I think I'm going to start with potty training since that happened before Labor Day and it was pretty much the most noteworthy thing we had going on.

I was sort of half joking when I'd say to people that E might go to college in diapers. He's three and a half and literally had no problem sitting in his own poop. And he'd lie about it too. Parents, you know your own kid's smells. If I was blindfolded and had to sniff a bunch of toddler butts, I'd know my own kid. From twenty feet away. Yeah, gross, I know. But I said this was going to be about potty training. If that was going to gross you out, you should've closed out your screen at that sentence. Anyway....

He was going into the 3's class at school and while technically it's not a rule that they HAVE to be potty trained, hello, it was time. I didn't want him to be the only one in the class. But I just didn't know if he was ready. I mean, I had friends and acquaintances telling me stuff like their son is pee trained but not poop or the opposite. That they've been doing it for six, nine, twelve months, carrying jars in the car, etc. Honestly, I think I've mentioned I'm lazy. That all sounded like A LOT of work. Because then people told me I can't force it, that when he's ready he's ready and it shouldn't take more than a day to a couple of days. THAT sounded more like what I was down for vs this long arduous process lasting months. Hey- it's fine if someone wants to go that route. One person I know did it really early and while it took months, he was done probably by age two or a little after.

Also, I have to be totally honest...I didn't mind diapers. I'm on the go ALL THE TIME. ALL. I'm pretty sure before E went to school last year he thought all lunches were eaten in the car. He thinks I have a secret food bank in the front seat. If I don't have food or drink for him at will he thinks I'm lying. And the thought of having to stop places or leave a full cart of groceries did not enthrall me. So I wasn't pushing it. Not because I was sentimental, wanting to keep him a "baby"...just because I don't want to stop for bodily fluids and...stuff.

E has NEVER woken dry, and most of the moms of boys I know who trained before E said their boys WERE waking dry. E had a ten pound diaper every morning. He still does (more on that later). So I didn't know what that meant in terms of readiness in general.

So many people recommended that three day bootcamp potty training. I was scared shitless (pun intended) for a few reasons. You're supposed to follow the book to the letter. That means one of the first things is to make a ritual with the child of throwing all the diapers away. No safety net. All of them. Alrighty. Then, you're pretty much trapped in your house for three days. No phone, no internet, no reading, etc. Because you have to focus on your kid and knowing their "tells", like in poker, for when they have to go to the bathroom. Well, I don't have the attention span for that. I just don't.

B decided we were doing this. He rarely has strong opinions about matters concerning E. He mostly leaves it up to me and follows my lead. But he really wanted this done and he said he'd stay home if I'd go to work. Um, hell yeah. Dad wants to take over potty training while I go sell lampshades. I'm in.

The first day went well. I think B said he peed on the floor like 2-3 times. He realized that E's accidents happen when he's playing. He feels like he doesn't want to stop playing. If he stops to pee, he may not be allowed to play again. Almost like someone that eats excessively because they feel like there isn't going to be enough. So B had to drill it in his head that accidents take longer to clean, E would have to help clean & he'd have to have his clothes changed, so if he just says he has to go to the bathroom, he can go right back to playing quickly. Basically the core of this method is major repetition.

I tried to do the night training at the same time like the book said, but that was a big fat epic fail. E sleeps like a rock. I tried to wake him to pee an hour after I put him to sleep like the book said and he would NOT WAKE UP. I basically put him on the toilet sleeping and he didn't/couldn't/wouldn't pee. So I just put him back in the bed. I had put that Ultimate Training Sheet on and he woke up in a puddle of piss. He didn't wake or care. When I tried to wake him and tell him he was laying in wetness he still wouldn't move. I put his hand in it so he'd feel it. Still didn't care. So I caved and put the pull-ups on for night after the first day. We're calling them "sleep underwear" and he's accepted that.

Day #2, I think he had one pee accident. He was doing fine with the poop from the beginning. B said he was a little scared the first time he did it but after that he was fine. I was nervous about this because I'd heard all kinds of stories about girls AND boys both asking for pull ups to poop in even if they were pee trained already. I don't think E really knew what a pull-up was so that didn't occur to him. We'd never used pull-ups at home. Sometimes at camp or school they'd put one on if they didn't have a diaper to use but I never called them that and I just changed them like I would a diaper. Now he knows pull-ups as sleep underwear and thinks they're just for sleep so that's that with those.

Day #3, B took E out and about a little bit. They did some errands. B bought these portable disposable urinal things. Someone told me about these. They're really cool. I don't think I'd need them for a regular day out where I could get to a bathroom but it would be good at a park or some other outdoor place. I don't know what you do for poop in those situations but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it....

After the three day we were pretty confident that he got it so we went about our business like usual. No accidents since. Only thing- we've been in almost every public bathroom in Bergen County. Places I didn't even know have bathrooms- they do. E told me he had to poop in CVS. I had to get in their bathroom. The employee said ok then took her sweet time getting us in there too. Of course the door had a code on it. Whatever could possibly add any more time on, that's what happened. Then he went and started yelling "I MADE POOPY AND PEE PEE ON THE POTTY!". I'm sure every patron in CVS needed to hear that.

The book said not to use the little potty anymore if you don't have to use it. B said from day one that E was fine going on the regular one so unless you need it for some reason, it's not necessary. But a friend recommended the Potette Plus, which has come in handy. It's a seat that has legs that fold under. It's the same size as the portable potty seats you see all the time, but these legs come out to make it steady on a big toilet seat or click into place to be legs that make the potty seat free standing. That way if your kid had to poop and you were not near a toilet, you could set it up in your trunk, on a sidewalk (?), or wherever without needing an actual toilet. There are liners for it that have a square of something to absorb pee so you're not walking around with sloshing piss. We went to Hoboken on Sunday and we actually had to use it. We were at the end of that pier with the grass park and he said he had to go. No way would we have made it to a bathroom in time. Or we actually just don't know yet how long we have between him saying he has to go and then going.

Basically I'm carrying around a backpack of potty paraphernalia. Whatever works.

So the point of all this potty talk is that the three day bootcamp method works if you follow it. There is no way it would have if we didn't really go for it and tried it half-assed. The biggest thing- You HAVE to throw those diapers away so you don't have them as a crutch. Pick the parent that has the best attention span and just do it. B did a stellar job- he now considers himself the Potty Whisperer. He thinks he can train any kid. I don't care if he can or can't- he trained ours and that's all that matters. I really don't think I could've done it.

www.3daypottytraining.com

Travel John Disposable urinals: https://www.buybuybaby.com/product.asp?SKU=113469&

Potette Plus 2 in 1: https://www.buybuybaby.com/product.asp?SKU=111261&RN=7054&

Shake Your Booty

I got an email from Music For Aardvarks about FREE trial classes. I have other posts about them but I know some of you moms haven't found any cool Mommy & Me classes yet so if you haven't, this is definitely the one to try!

Here's the email/info:

Interested in checking our classes out before registering for the Fall Semester? We're offering free trial classes on Tuesday, September 11th at 9:30 in Waldwick, and Wednesday, September 12th at 9:30 in Ridgewood. Sign up by clicking one of the links below:

Tuesday 9/11 at 9:30
Waldwick w/ Merri
At the Superdome
134 Hopper Ave.
2nd Floor

Wednesday 9/12 at 9:30
Ridgewood w/ Kristen
Downstairs at the Elks Lodge
111 N. Maple Ave.
Park and enter down at the bottom of the driveway

Space is limited, sign up soon!


To see all available classes, check us out at http://www.ahummusic.com

We'll see ya' soon!